If Jimmy cracked corn and people didn't care, then why did they write a song about it?
Today's Apathy Anonymous has been cancelled due to lack of interest.
Are you still here? Haven't lost interest yet? Why not close the browser and stare at a wall or something? I've got the cure for all known disease; I could make money grow on trees but that's not what motivates me, I'm interested in... aw stuff it.
Definition:
Apathy. n. - I can't be bothered to do this bit.
The process of apathification has taken its strongest hold in Australia (which defies definition by being simultaneously an island, a continent and a country), where the power of apathy has been harnessed effectively to power all the major cities. With the rejection of the Kyoto Protocol by the current Howard Government, the only western country other than the United States not signing this agreement, the Howard Government has launched a large scale apathetic campaign toward the general population.
Apathetic power thus forms the basis of Howard's current energy and environmental policy. John Howard now pushes apathetic power as the solution to Global Warming having now abandoned his former promotion of Carbon Sequestration. The New South Wales state Labor government has followed suit and has publicised its plans to harness the unlimited supply of apathy to power the new desalination plant being built at Kurnell, NSW.
In recent years, activists have been working hard to fight the rising tide of apathy around the world. Thus far, the primary technique appears to be constant nagging, poking, and prodding. This generally does succeed in providing the recipient with some motivation, though it is often only the motivation to strike the activist hard, and this motivation subsequently vanishes once the act is complete.
Some researchers believe that highly-caffeinated coffee could be used to fight apathy, but its highly addictive nature, combined with recent reports of ultra-violence caused by drinking cheap instant coffee with artificial sweeteners, have made this choice impractical.
I have just noticed that the title should have been...
Horse 734 - Apathy Rules... Meh
but I can't be bothered to change that either.
March 16, 2007
March 15, 2007
Horse 733 - The Grumpy Lady of Town
Sydneysiders who listen to FM radio in the mornings will have noticed for about the last month a shift in the way the town's Lord Mayor's name is pronounced. Triple M, The Shebang's Marty Sheargold and Fifi Box have taken to Clover Moore's name by rhyming it with Clobber not Rover.
The theory goes that Clovver (for the purposes of pronounciation) had a run in the the Rev. Dr. Doug Mulray on Triple M in the early 90s and has refused to appear on the Ms ever since. Clovver was elected in 1992 and Mulray went off Triple M in 1999, so if anything it would have been while she was still just only the independant MP for Bligh in the NSW Lower House. She was not Lord Mayor of Sydney until 2004.
When The Shebang moved from it's drive slot to breakfast, Marty and Fifi were congratulated by Premier Morris Iemma, former Premier Bob Carr, opposition leader Peter Debenham, and several celebrities but Clovver was nowhere to be found. She'd remained incommunicado and when pushed her office sent an official refusal to Triple M.
The interesting thing here is that this is a personal matter and not one of political bias. In theory because Clovver is an Independant, she doesn't have any political bias other than her own. As Lord Mayor she caused controversy at Christmas 2004 by not providing a budget on PC grounds for Christmas decorations in the city, a practice which had been going on since 1946.
She officially claims to be a Roman Catholic but famously diverted $322,000 to the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras in 2005 and openly supports Gay rights as per her Private Members Bill to the NSW State Parliament in 1993. I don't know if she does happen to be a la-la but she's appalling enough that she may as well be.
Whatever the case, even if she turns out not to be a la-la, Clovver still presents as a cranky lady much like the Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher. People will soon start calling out sourpuss and grumpyface.
The theory goes that Clovver (for the purposes of pronounciation) had a run in the the Rev. Dr. Doug Mulray on Triple M in the early 90s and has refused to appear on the Ms ever since. Clovver was elected in 1992 and Mulray went off Triple M in 1999, so if anything it would have been while she was still just only the independant MP for Bligh in the NSW Lower House. She was not Lord Mayor of Sydney until 2004.
When The Shebang moved from it's drive slot to breakfast, Marty and Fifi were congratulated by Premier Morris Iemma, former Premier Bob Carr, opposition leader Peter Debenham, and several celebrities but Clovver was nowhere to be found. She'd remained incommunicado and when pushed her office sent an official refusal to Triple M.
The interesting thing here is that this is a personal matter and not one of political bias. In theory because Clovver is an Independant, she doesn't have any political bias other than her own. As Lord Mayor she caused controversy at Christmas 2004 by not providing a budget on PC grounds for Christmas decorations in the city, a practice which had been going on since 1946.
She officially claims to be a Roman Catholic but famously diverted $322,000 to the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras in 2005 and openly supports Gay rights as per her Private Members Bill to the NSW State Parliament in 1993. I don't know if she does happen to be a la-la but she's appalling enough that she may as well be.
Whatever the case, even if she turns out not to be a la-la, Clovver still presents as a cranky lady much like the Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher. People will soon start calling out sourpuss and grumpyface.
March 13, 2007
Horse 732 - Right of Way
I found this article in today's SMH. This has been stolen without permission.
Jordan Baker Transport Reporter
March 13, 2007
SYDNEYSIDERS are confused about the rights of pedestrians, and their mistakes are putting lives at risk, a study has found. Many people are mistaking sections of brick paving and pedestrian refuges with official crossings, and think they have more rights on zebra crossings than they really do, the researchers found.
The authors of the report, published in the international journal Accident Analysis and Prevention, questioned almost 600 people across NSW about their understanding of right-of-way laws. Half the Sydney residents surveyed wrongly thought brick paving on the road gave them right of way. Twenty-seven per cent mistakenly believed a pedestrian refuge was an official crossing.
Sydneysiders were more likely to believe pedestrians had right of way than the respondents in the county.
Julie Hatfield, of the Injury Risk Management Research Centre of the University of NSW, was the report's lead author. She said brick paving confused both drivers and pedestrians.
"[They are] a couple of metres wide and look like they are a crossing, but they don't operate as a crossing," she said. "Nobody is really too sure. There's about 20 per cent that didn't know what the hell they meant."
Dr Hatfield called for these paved sections to be turned into official crossings or removed. "As far as I can see, they have no road safety benefit. I think it is done for aesthetic reasons."
However, pedestrian refuges - bays in the middle of the road to allow pedestrians to cross one section at a time - did have a safety benefit, especially for older people, Dr Hatfield said.
Most respondents knew drivers had to slow down and stop when a pedestrian was on a zebra crossing. However, 71 per cent wrongly thought the pedestrian also had right of way while waiting at a crossing.
The researchers also observed 2854 people on signalled crossings. They found there was confusion over who had right of way when drivers were turning left on a green signal and coming into the path of pedestrians who were also given the green light.
In NSW 78 per cent of collisions between pedestrians and vehicles occur when people cross roads.
This may be a revelation to the people at the Sydney Morning Herald but this is what the law has to say:
Australian Road Rules Act 2000
Section 3. Rights of Way
(2) Pedestrians shall have total rights of way in all circumstances except by operation of appropriate legislation.
&
Section 26. Pedestrians to use footways and footbridges
(1) A pedestrian must not go onto any part of a tollway, motorway or expressway other than a footway or footbridge.
Interestingly nowhere else in NSW traffic legislation are pedestrians even mentioned, which means that as the law stands they have total rights except on motorways where they're not allowed to go in the first place.
Let's apply the law as it stands shall we?
"think they have more rights on zebra crossings than they really do"
Pedestrians shall have total rights of way in all circumstances - What could be more right than 100%?
"Half the Sydney residents surveyed wrongly thought brick paving on the road gave them right of way."
Pedestrians shall have total rights of way in all circumstances - Technically speaking the brick doesn't "give" them right of way, especially considering that they already had total right of way.
"71 per cent wrongly thought the pedestrian also had right of way while waiting at a crossing."
Pedestrians shall have total rights of way in all circumstances - 71% would be correct, they have right of way everywhere except motorways.
"They found there was confusion over who had right of way when drivers were turning left on a green signal and coming into the path of pedestrians who were also given the green light."
Pedestrians shall have total rights of way in all circumstances - Well there should be any confusions, pedestrians have right of way.
"In NSW 78 per cent of collisions between pedestrians and vehicles occur when people cross roads."
Um... where else are they likely to occur? In people's living rooms? Perhaps in the shower? Maybe inside a department store? What is your game here?
Pedestrians have right of way EVERYWHERE. Get that? EVERYWHERE. If you're driving a motor car and a pedestrian runs out in front of you, deliberately, wielding an axe and a shotgun, with the intent to kill you, even if they actually shoot you and kill you rendering your car effectively without a driver and your car then runs over them, it is still your fault.
Pedestrians shall have total rights of way in all circumstances except on any part of a tollway, motorway or expressway other than a footway or footbridge.
Jordan Baker Transport Reporter
March 13, 2007
SYDNEYSIDERS are confused about the rights of pedestrians, and their mistakes are putting lives at risk, a study has found. Many people are mistaking sections of brick paving and pedestrian refuges with official crossings, and think they have more rights on zebra crossings than they really do, the researchers found.
The authors of the report, published in the international journal Accident Analysis and Prevention, questioned almost 600 people across NSW about their understanding of right-of-way laws. Half the Sydney residents surveyed wrongly thought brick paving on the road gave them right of way. Twenty-seven per cent mistakenly believed a pedestrian refuge was an official crossing.
Sydneysiders were more likely to believe pedestrians had right of way than the respondents in the county.
Julie Hatfield, of the Injury Risk Management Research Centre of the University of NSW, was the report's lead author. She said brick paving confused both drivers and pedestrians.
"[They are] a couple of metres wide and look like they are a crossing, but they don't operate as a crossing," she said. "Nobody is really too sure. There's about 20 per cent that didn't know what the hell they meant."
Dr Hatfield called for these paved sections to be turned into official crossings or removed. "As far as I can see, they have no road safety benefit. I think it is done for aesthetic reasons."
However, pedestrian refuges - bays in the middle of the road to allow pedestrians to cross one section at a time - did have a safety benefit, especially for older people, Dr Hatfield said.
Most respondents knew drivers had to slow down and stop when a pedestrian was on a zebra crossing. However, 71 per cent wrongly thought the pedestrian also had right of way while waiting at a crossing.
The researchers also observed 2854 people on signalled crossings. They found there was confusion over who had right of way when drivers were turning left on a green signal and coming into the path of pedestrians who were also given the green light.
In NSW 78 per cent of collisions between pedestrians and vehicles occur when people cross roads.
This may be a revelation to the people at the Sydney Morning Herald but this is what the law has to say:
Australian Road Rules Act 2000
Section 3. Rights of Way
(2) Pedestrians shall have total rights of way in all circumstances except by operation of appropriate legislation.
&
Section 26. Pedestrians to use footways and footbridges
(1) A pedestrian must not go onto any part of a tollway, motorway or expressway other than a footway or footbridge.
Interestingly nowhere else in NSW traffic legislation are pedestrians even mentioned, which means that as the law stands they have total rights except on motorways where they're not allowed to go in the first place.
Let's apply the law as it stands shall we?
"think they have more rights on zebra crossings than they really do"
Pedestrians shall have total rights of way in all circumstances - What could be more right than 100%?
"Half the Sydney residents surveyed wrongly thought brick paving on the road gave them right of way."
Pedestrians shall have total rights of way in all circumstances - Technically speaking the brick doesn't "give" them right of way, especially considering that they already had total right of way.
"71 per cent wrongly thought the pedestrian also had right of way while waiting at a crossing."
Pedestrians shall have total rights of way in all circumstances - 71% would be correct, they have right of way everywhere except motorways.
"They found there was confusion over who had right of way when drivers were turning left on a green signal and coming into the path of pedestrians who were also given the green light."
Pedestrians shall have total rights of way in all circumstances - Well there should be any confusions, pedestrians have right of way.
"In NSW 78 per cent of collisions between pedestrians and vehicles occur when people cross roads."
Um... where else are they likely to occur? In people's living rooms? Perhaps in the shower? Maybe inside a department store? What is your game here?
Pedestrians have right of way EVERYWHERE. Get that? EVERYWHERE. If you're driving a motor car and a pedestrian runs out in front of you, deliberately, wielding an axe and a shotgun, with the intent to kill you, even if they actually shoot you and kill you rendering your car effectively without a driver and your car then runs over them, it is still your fault.
Pedestrians shall have total rights of way in all circumstances except on any part of a tollway, motorway or expressway other than a footway or footbridge.
March 12, 2007
Horse 731 - You Know a Bunch of Stuff? So What?
There's a small bit in the letter of James in chapter 2 which reads:
You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that — and shudder.
Now this got me thinking about these entities which for the most part we can not see. What the heck do they believe? What do they know that may be of some use? They obviously believe in one God, as stated above but what else.
Part of the answer may be found in the gospel of Matthew. We're told somewhere in chapter 8 (I can't remember at the moment) that there was this man who was possessed by demons (as opposed to being repossessed which is when they can't make their mortgage repayments) and Jesus shows up and drives them into a herd of pigs who decide to drown themselves.
They actually call Jesus the Son of God; further to that they also submit to his authority. Also, they make mention that they fear being tortured before "the time appointed". So then, here we have a group of beings who: Believe that God exists; believe that Jesus is the Son of God; believe that they're under his authority and that ultimately they will be judged by him. The story is repeated in Mark 5 (probably) and we're told there that when the man saw Jesus he fell down and worshipped him.
Now for the crunch - even if you happen to know all of the Gospel and believe that it's true, it is still possible for it to mean precisely nought. Knowing a bunch of facts without doing anything with them is pointless. I know that Queen Beatrix is the Queen of the Netherlands, that she became Queen in 1980, but that still doesn't in any way shape or form even make the slightest bit Dutch.
You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that — and shudder.
Now this got me thinking about these entities which for the most part we can not see. What the heck do they believe? What do they know that may be of some use? They obviously believe in one God, as stated above but what else.
Part of the answer may be found in the gospel of Matthew. We're told somewhere in chapter 8 (I can't remember at the moment) that there was this man who was possessed by demons (as opposed to being repossessed which is when they can't make their mortgage repayments) and Jesus shows up and drives them into a herd of pigs who decide to drown themselves.
They actually call Jesus the Son of God; further to that they also submit to his authority. Also, they make mention that they fear being tortured before "the time appointed". So then, here we have a group of beings who: Believe that God exists; believe that Jesus is the Son of God; believe that they're under his authority and that ultimately they will be judged by him. The story is repeated in Mark 5 (probably) and we're told there that when the man saw Jesus he fell down and worshipped him.
Now for the crunch - even if you happen to know all of the Gospel and believe that it's true, it is still possible for it to mean precisely nought. Knowing a bunch of facts without doing anything with them is pointless. I know that Queen Beatrix is the Queen of the Netherlands, that she became Queen in 1980, but that still doesn't in any way shape or form even make the slightest bit Dutch.
March 09, 2007
Horse 730 - Melting a Snowman
I'm not citing this as an example of my brilliance by a long shot, nor do I wish to brag by this. Hopefully you may learn something from this experience though... I think I have.
At work I've had to deal with a particularly nasty person. They're extremely slow in paying bills (they always go at least 120 days from the invoice being sent) and when they do want something done, they will complain until they're black and blue in the face that they want the work done now, they want it done tommorrow or they want it done yesterday. They demand some of this, less of that, and plenty of that and tommorrow their demands will have changed so we'd better stay awake.
This particular person is a real estate agent and on the whole they're not known for their luminence of character; especially this person.
It came upon us that one of their clients wanted to get some background information on them. Owing to confidentiality requirements (because if you can't tell someone in confidence, then they aren't worth knowing), I told this person that our real estate agent friend was a skilled operator (which although is true, doesn't mention anything about their character) and they went away happy. The truth is that the job would be done very well, even if they don't see us as particularly important.
Not long after this, I wrote to the estate agent and told them that I'd slashed their latest invoice by 8% and then enclosed a voucher for two people to go to quite a nice restaurant in Mosman. My boss thought I was stark raving bonkers and wanted to know what possessed me to do such a crazy thing and I told him that if we showed a little bit of kindness to our most difficult clients, despite and in spite of them being a persnickety ogre, then even if we get nothing back then at least we may have warmed their heart of ice a bit.
People find it very very difficult to be nasty to someone who's just been nice to them. It was once said of Eleanor Roosevelt that she got even in a way with someone that was almost cruel, she forgave them.
There is a famous story of the sun and the wind having a competition to see who could take the coat off a man. The wind blew and blew but the man held his coat even tighter. It blew even stronger and the man hid behind a tree to get out of its way. But the sun shone warmly and gently and the man who was now warm, took off his coat without complaint.
I don't mean killing someone with kindness either, but at some point you just realise that repaying what you got only escalates it, be it violence, kindness, apathy or dare I say it love.
At work I've had to deal with a particularly nasty person. They're extremely slow in paying bills (they always go at least 120 days from the invoice being sent) and when they do want something done, they will complain until they're black and blue in the face that they want the work done now, they want it done tommorrow or they want it done yesterday. They demand some of this, less of that, and plenty of that and tommorrow their demands will have changed so we'd better stay awake.
This particular person is a real estate agent and on the whole they're not known for their luminence of character; especially this person.
It came upon us that one of their clients wanted to get some background information on them. Owing to confidentiality requirements (because if you can't tell someone in confidence, then they aren't worth knowing), I told this person that our real estate agent friend was a skilled operator (which although is true, doesn't mention anything about their character) and they went away happy. The truth is that the job would be done very well, even if they don't see us as particularly important.
Not long after this, I wrote to the estate agent and told them that I'd slashed their latest invoice by 8% and then enclosed a voucher for two people to go to quite a nice restaurant in Mosman. My boss thought I was stark raving bonkers and wanted to know what possessed me to do such a crazy thing and I told him that if we showed a little bit of kindness to our most difficult clients, despite and in spite of them being a persnickety ogre, then even if we get nothing back then at least we may have warmed their heart of ice a bit.
People find it very very difficult to be nasty to someone who's just been nice to them. It was once said of Eleanor Roosevelt that she got even in a way with someone that was almost cruel, she forgave them.
There is a famous story of the sun and the wind having a competition to see who could take the coat off a man. The wind blew and blew but the man held his coat even tighter. It blew even stronger and the man hid behind a tree to get out of its way. But the sun shone warmly and gently and the man who was now warm, took off his coat without complaint.
I don't mean killing someone with kindness either, but at some point you just realise that repaying what you got only escalates it, be it violence, kindness, apathy or dare I say it love.
March 08, 2007
Horse 729 - The Internet is Old
People may not realise this, but the interwebs is a far older thing that what people imagine.
The parable of the Prodigal Son found in Luke 15:11–32 is somewhat of a curiosity. The word Prodigal does not mean lost as many people would assume but is the same root word as Prodigy and thus would be better rendered as "extravagant".
We find these words: He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. No-one is suggesting that one should actually eat portable music players, however if you consider the value of the devices, then this perhaps understandable. It is just possible that he may have intended to smuggle them out of the country.
Tiberius Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus or more commonly just Claudius, succeeded Caligula. His autobiography "I, Claudius" is actually somewhat of a mistranslation, when it should actually read iClaudius.
Owing to the grammatical order of Latin, a common misconception has been propogated about the emperor Nero. The truth is that he was quite a skilled sound engineer and in the Circus Maximus, the Rome Symphony Orchestra were assembled. On that particular day, the string section happened to be performing and Nero recorded this onto CD; thus Rome fiddled while Nero burnt.
It's a little known fact that The Great Fire of London of 1666 was actually caused by an electrical fault in a router, which caused a stack of printed reports to catch fire. Before the advent of electricity, Bulletin Boards were physical things with messages sent in by mail; hencce the expression "posting".
Swiss folklore holds that William Tell courageously shot an Apple from his son's head with his crossbow, defying a tyrannical ruler and bringing freedom to his people. More than likely it was probably a G3 with a dud CD drive.
The parable of the Prodigal Son found in Luke 15:11–32 is somewhat of a curiosity. The word Prodigal does not mean lost as many people would assume but is the same root word as Prodigy and thus would be better rendered as "extravagant".
We find these words: He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. No-one is suggesting that one should actually eat portable music players, however if you consider the value of the devices, then this perhaps understandable. It is just possible that he may have intended to smuggle them out of the country.
Tiberius Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus or more commonly just Claudius, succeeded Caligula. His autobiography "I, Claudius" is actually somewhat of a mistranslation, when it should actually read iClaudius.
Owing to the grammatical order of Latin, a common misconception has been propogated about the emperor Nero. The truth is that he was quite a skilled sound engineer and in the Circus Maximus, the Rome Symphony Orchestra were assembled. On that particular day, the string section happened to be performing and Nero recorded this onto CD; thus Rome fiddled while Nero burnt.
It's a little known fact that The Great Fire of London of 1666 was actually caused by an electrical fault in a router, which caused a stack of printed reports to catch fire. Before the advent of electricity, Bulletin Boards were physical things with messages sent in by mail; hencce the expression "posting".
Swiss folklore holds that William Tell courageously shot an Apple from his son's head with his crossbow, defying a tyrannical ruler and bringing freedom to his people. More than likely it was probably a G3 with a dud CD drive.
March 07, 2007
Horse 728 - Commodore's Kids
The red machine is the UK's new Vauxhall VXR8, which also happens to be Australia's HSV Clubsport R8 (ignore that "based-on" nonsense... this is as straight a rebadge as you'll ever see). Both are the evil spawn of the morbidly ugly Holden VE Commodore as presented after the speed freaks at HSV have had their way with it.
In this case, "having their way" means 420bhp in the old money or if you wish, the UK variant is 323kW as opposed to 307kW in Oz or a paltry 275kW in Pontiac's G8 "GT". The source of the enhanced juice is GM's muscled-up 6L V8 but instead of running 87RON in the US or 91RON in Australia, the UK VXR8 only runs on 95RON+
Operationally this is slightly bizarre. VXR being the performance department of GM in the UK (like HSV in Australia or Opel's OPC) also happens to be the biggest stakeholder in 888 Engineering who build their BTCC Touring Cars. 888 Engineering run the Vodafone Falcons in the V8 Supercars in Australia, which are Fords... Hmm.
To take this a logical step further, the Australian car was built to GM's "global climate standards" which meant that the tolerances for the vehicle were build for America's open spaces and snows, and Britain's slushy winters but someone seemingly forgot Australia's arid interior which is where the car woudl spend a lot of its life. Most new owners of the VE Commodore have found sparkling problems littered throughout the car - most of these are electric related.
The G8 on the other hand has had an agressive American styling package thrust upon it, highlighted by strong garish Pontiac design cues, such as that massive dual-port grille, fog lamps, hood scoops and front fender vents. At the rear, jewel-like taillamps also are mounted in housings and feature bright work surrounding the red light clusters. G8 models have red taillamp lenses and twin chrome exhaust outlets, while G8 GT models feature clear taillamp lenses and quad chrome exhaust tips.
With the General starting to realise the benfits of European motoring (the Cobalt is a re-cued Astra & likewise the Malibu is a re-cued Vectra) I don't know what they're possibly trying to achieve with the Pontiac brand. The car has logical competitors from within it's own stable such as the Buick Lucerne and the Chevrolet Imapala. I wonder if this car will suffer from cultural imperialsm like the ill-fated Monaro/GTO.
It looks like after all this time that Holden may have possibly found the markets for their Billion-Dollar-Baby. Time will tell if they just threw the cash into the wind.
Horse 727 - I Believe I Can Fly
Horse 727 is posted on 7/3/7 but not on a 727 or a 737 but if you happen to be reading this on a 727 or a 737, then good luck.
A report put out by some university this week (and I only caught the tail end of this on the radio, so my research is skimpy) has suggested that children's confidence levels tend to lead them to engage in more dangerous behaviours while dressed up like superheroes. To put this in layman's terms if you dress up your kids like Superman then they're more likely to try to fly.
It got me thinking about the many stories (and personal experiences) where kids have tried to jump off the roof thinking they were some sort of superhero. Kids imaginations are huge, and I know that they can really believe that if they do something, then something else happens. One of my neighbour's kids was really really angry that when he put on his Batman suit, that he couldn't fly; I remember that we were on holidays once and some kids was covered in red ink and bawling because he'd tried to be Spider-Man and failed.
Knowing this has given me a very wise thought. If I ever have children, I'm going to give them some white make-up and a clown costume; that way they can dress up like a mime. All I'd have to be worried about then is that they accidentally got trapped inside an invisible box or were caught walking against the wind. The only down side to this is that they might think that they're Canio the Sad Clown from Pagliacci or perhaps will want to don the schellenmütze (I don't even know the English word for this - the cap and bells?) and marotte. Either way they'll look ironically less stupid than some kid in the supermarket who thinks they're Batman.
A report put out by some university this week (and I only caught the tail end of this on the radio, so my research is skimpy) has suggested that children's confidence levels tend to lead them to engage in more dangerous behaviours while dressed up like superheroes. To put this in layman's terms if you dress up your kids like Superman then they're more likely to try to fly.
It got me thinking about the many stories (and personal experiences) where kids have tried to jump off the roof thinking they were some sort of superhero. Kids imaginations are huge, and I know that they can really believe that if they do something, then something else happens. One of my neighbour's kids was really really angry that when he put on his Batman suit, that he couldn't fly; I remember that we were on holidays once and some kids was covered in red ink and bawling because he'd tried to be Spider-Man and failed.
Knowing this has given me a very wise thought. If I ever have children, I'm going to give them some white make-up and a clown costume; that way they can dress up like a mime. All I'd have to be worried about then is that they accidentally got trapped inside an invisible box or were caught walking against the wind. The only down side to this is that they might think that they're Canio the Sad Clown from Pagliacci or perhaps will want to don the schellenmütze (I don't even know the English word for this - the cap and bells?) and marotte. Either way they'll look ironically less stupid than some kid in the supermarket who thinks they're Batman.
March 02, 2007
Horse 726 - iTwenty Five
Brendan did it - James did it - I follow... how dull ^_^
1. Australian Radio Callsigns - Adverts - Australian Radio
This is a compliation of various radio callsigns from around the country. Like so much of the things on my iPod this forms part of the music furniture but whether it is actually music in it's own right is debateable.
Keepin Melbourne Rockin 3-X-Y
2. Choose Life - PF Project
The sample in this song comes directly from the beginning of Trainspotting as said by Ewen McGregor. As a dance/trance track it's not that interesting otherwise.
I chose not to choose life, I chose something else.
3. An Own Goal By Paraguay - Radio 1 - Chris Moyles Show
The Chris Moyles Show on BBC Radio 1 has a different opening sting for every morning that it's on air. This was the day after England beat Paraguay 1-0 in the 2006 FIFA World Cup.
The Chris Moyles Show - Rooney looks like Shrek! International Radio 1!
4. We Beat Jamaica Six - Nil - Radio 1 - Chris Moyles Show
This represented the biggest win for England under the tenure of Sven Goran-Eriksson. For at least a few days, hope sprang up.
We will win the Cup, unless we lose to Trinidad and stuff the whole thing up.
5. Soramimi Keeki (Fancy Hearing Cake) - Azumanga Daioh
I also have quite a few themes from television programs; this being the opening theme from the anime Azumanga Daioh.
The letters on the mysterious door say "Fancy Hearing Cake" (I think that's what it's translated as)
6. You Mean, During The Break? - Azumanga Daioh
Sometimes the soundtrack to a film (or in this case an anime) is as memorable as the characters and the plot. Subconsciouisly we all know what certain cues in films happen to mean. I mean just listen to the opening theme of Star Wars for all of the consitutent components.
(No Lyrics)
7. Fall To Pieces - Avril Lavigne - Under My Skin
Next to Britney and Christina, Avril's first album looked distinctively dour. Maybe it's the series of sweeping guitar chords through this that make it so listenable.
I don't wanna fall to pieces, I just want to sit and stare at you.
8. Take Me To Another Town - Emma Bunton - Life In Mono
Ms Bunton has made 3 albums to date and sold more records than any other of the ex-Spices. This single was handily released just as she was appearing on Strictly Come Dancing, so the hopping along nature of this track was apt.
I go to Cairo, I go to St Tropez, there are too many people who keep getting in my way.
9. The Fallen - Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So Much Better
Almost mechanical in approach, Franz Ferdinand's second album was a good follow up. This song is like a call out to the troubled and dispossessed. You really have to stop yourself from bouncing around with this.
Well who gives a damn about the profits of Tesco?
10. Part of the Queue - Oasis - Don't Believe The Truth
Still the highest played song on the iPod, it made it to No.1 in 2005 and No.6 in 2006. Part of the Queue is one of those songs from the former "best band in the world" as declared by the NME, who no longer yell in out but kind of sigh.
Suddenly I've found that I've lost my way in the city, The streets and the thousands of colours all bleed into one.
11. Let There Be Love - Oasis - Don't Believe The Truth
Also from the same album, this is one of the few tracks where both Liam and Noel sing. This is not your typical "power ballad", in fact the whole thing sounds almost desperate and that's difficult to acheive.
Come on baby blue, shake out those tired eyes, the world is waiting for you.
12. A Whiter Shade of Pale - Procul Harem
Quite a mournful song, it uses a Hammond organ in a sort of Bach feel. In the film Good Morning Vietnam, it's used as the soundtrack to a firefront as people are being blown off the face of the earth.
We skid the light fandango, did cartwheels 'cross the floor.
13. Dont Get Any Better - Geri Better - Passion
From my Number 4 album of 2005, Geri belts out a chunky disco song. Steve Wright on Radio 2 played this quite a lot and for a while, immediately after it would be Ask Elvis.
What I got is what I need and I know it's good enough for me.
14. Knock 'Em Out - Lily Allen - Alright, Still
It's strange that a lady who it must be said is so middle class was able to produce such a ladette album. This deals with the disappointment of far too many Friday Nights in the city.
And you're like, no not in a million years. Leave me alone, you're nasty.
15. Jerusalem - Fat Les
This will usually for part of the Last Night of the Proms, but in recent years has been taken to the terraces by football crowds. This is William Blake's poem, turned into Parry's hymn. King George V suggested that it should replace God Save the King as the national anthem.
Bring me my bow of burning gold; bring me my arrows of desire. Bring me my spear, oh clouds unfold. Bring me my chariot of fire.
16. Wonderwall - Oasis - What's The Story (Morning Glory)?
If there was a trademark for what defined Britriock then this is that stamp. By far their most famous song, it was pipped by Country House by Blur for the number 1 spot. It also uses that curious trick of throwing in a cello.
Backbeat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out.
17. Don't Look Back In Anger - Oasis - What's The Story (Morning Glory)?
I think of Wembley in 2000 when I hear this - 90,000+ people all singing the chorus. This is yet another one of those songs in which Pachelbel had managed to hide himself.
Stand up beside the fireplace; take that look from off your face. You aint ever gonna burn my heart out.
18. 92.5 FM Community - Radio Luxembourg
Radio Luxembourg was able to subvert British radio licensing laws by transmitting with an insane amount of power from the Low Country.
(it is and does what it says on the box)
19. Let's Begin - Azumanga Daioh
You know the routine now. From the soundtrack album, this is an extended version of the little grabs that enclose the ad breaks.
(no lyrics)
20. New School Term 5 - Azumanga Daioh
Starting to notice a pattern here? This is played on a tin whistle and a tamborine of something and sounds insanely happy.
(no lyrics)
21. My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne - Under My Skin
One of those songs on the radio about a break up that spits acerbic. It also happens to play with dramatic pauses quite effectively.
Don't leave me hanging, in a city so dead. Held up so high on such a breakable thread.
22. C'est La Vie - B*Witched
Irish group B*Witched managed to combine plastic pop with traditional Irish Jiggery in a way that for about 3 months was fun but on reflection has gone the same way as a flock of seagulls haircut.
I'm the wolf today. I'll huff, I'll puff, I'll huff, I'll puff, I'll blow you away.
23. Three Lions '96 - Skinner, Baddiel and the Lightning Seeds
Hosts of Fantasy Football League and later Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned inadvertantly created a terrace chant that would resurface for 1998 and later for 2002. The songs speaks not of England's success but the fact that since 1966, every tournament has ended in dashed hopes and the feeling that England will never again reach those heights.
Three Lions on the shirt, Jules Rimet still gleaming. Thirty years of hurt, never stopped me dreaming.
24. Steve Wright: Ask Elvis - 01-09-06 - BBC Radio 2
Ask Elvis is a segment on Steve Wright's afternoon radio show in the UK in which people ask "Elvis" questions ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. This particular podcast opened with someone asking Elvis about the legals status of what a landowner actually owned.
A snap head rivet is different to a mushroom head rivet and they have very different applications. Give me the pieces, The King wants to build a battleship.
25. Steve Wright: Ask Elvis - 25-08-06 - BBC Radio 2
As above.
I think you're giving yourself a whole mess of problems if you try and stich hexagons together with a machine. I'd do that by hand.
1. Australian Radio Callsigns - Adverts - Australian Radio
This is a compliation of various radio callsigns from around the country. Like so much of the things on my iPod this forms part of the music furniture but whether it is actually music in it's own right is debateable.
Keepin Melbourne Rockin 3-X-Y
2. Choose Life - PF Project
The sample in this song comes directly from the beginning of Trainspotting as said by Ewen McGregor. As a dance/trance track it's not that interesting otherwise.
I chose not to choose life, I chose something else.
3. An Own Goal By Paraguay - Radio 1 - Chris Moyles Show
The Chris Moyles Show on BBC Radio 1 has a different opening sting for every morning that it's on air. This was the day after England beat Paraguay 1-0 in the 2006 FIFA World Cup.
The Chris Moyles Show - Rooney looks like Shrek! International Radio 1!
4. We Beat Jamaica Six - Nil - Radio 1 - Chris Moyles Show
This represented the biggest win for England under the tenure of Sven Goran-Eriksson. For at least a few days, hope sprang up.
We will win the Cup, unless we lose to Trinidad and stuff the whole thing up.
5. Soramimi Keeki (Fancy Hearing Cake) - Azumanga Daioh
I also have quite a few themes from television programs; this being the opening theme from the anime Azumanga Daioh.
The letters on the mysterious door say "Fancy Hearing Cake" (I think that's what it's translated as)
6. You Mean, During The Break? - Azumanga Daioh
Sometimes the soundtrack to a film (or in this case an anime) is as memorable as the characters and the plot. Subconsciouisly we all know what certain cues in films happen to mean. I mean just listen to the opening theme of Star Wars for all of the consitutent components.
(No Lyrics)
7. Fall To Pieces - Avril Lavigne - Under My Skin
Next to Britney and Christina, Avril's first album looked distinctively dour. Maybe it's the series of sweeping guitar chords through this that make it so listenable.
I don't wanna fall to pieces, I just want to sit and stare at you.
8. Take Me To Another Town - Emma Bunton - Life In Mono
Ms Bunton has made 3 albums to date and sold more records than any other of the ex-Spices. This single was handily released just as she was appearing on Strictly Come Dancing, so the hopping along nature of this track was apt.
I go to Cairo, I go to St Tropez, there are too many people who keep getting in my way.
9. The Fallen - Franz Ferdinand - You Could Have It So Much Better
Almost mechanical in approach, Franz Ferdinand's second album was a good follow up. This song is like a call out to the troubled and dispossessed. You really have to stop yourself from bouncing around with this.
Well who gives a damn about the profits of Tesco?
10. Part of the Queue - Oasis - Don't Believe The Truth
Still the highest played song on the iPod, it made it to No.1 in 2005 and No.6 in 2006. Part of the Queue is one of those songs from the former "best band in the world" as declared by the NME, who no longer yell in out but kind of sigh.
Suddenly I've found that I've lost my way in the city, The streets and the thousands of colours all bleed into one.
11. Let There Be Love - Oasis - Don't Believe The Truth
Also from the same album, this is one of the few tracks where both Liam and Noel sing. This is not your typical "power ballad", in fact the whole thing sounds almost desperate and that's difficult to acheive.
Come on baby blue, shake out those tired eyes, the world is waiting for you.
12. A Whiter Shade of Pale - Procul Harem
Quite a mournful song, it uses a Hammond organ in a sort of Bach feel. In the film Good Morning Vietnam, it's used as the soundtrack to a firefront as people are being blown off the face of the earth.
We skid the light fandango, did cartwheels 'cross the floor.
13. Dont Get Any Better - Geri Better - Passion
From my Number 4 album of 2005, Geri belts out a chunky disco song. Steve Wright on Radio 2 played this quite a lot and for a while, immediately after it would be Ask Elvis.
What I got is what I need and I know it's good enough for me.
14. Knock 'Em Out - Lily Allen - Alright, Still
It's strange that a lady who it must be said is so middle class was able to produce such a ladette album. This deals with the disappointment of far too many Friday Nights in the city.
And you're like, no not in a million years. Leave me alone, you're nasty.
15. Jerusalem - Fat Les
This will usually for part of the Last Night of the Proms, but in recent years has been taken to the terraces by football crowds. This is William Blake's poem, turned into Parry's hymn. King George V suggested that it should replace God Save the King as the national anthem.
Bring me my bow of burning gold; bring me my arrows of desire. Bring me my spear, oh clouds unfold. Bring me my chariot of fire.
16. Wonderwall - Oasis - What's The Story (Morning Glory)?
If there was a trademark for what defined Britriock then this is that stamp. By far their most famous song, it was pipped by Country House by Blur for the number 1 spot. It also uses that curious trick of throwing in a cello.
Backbeat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out.
17. Don't Look Back In Anger - Oasis - What's The Story (Morning Glory)?
I think of Wembley in 2000 when I hear this - 90,000+ people all singing the chorus. This is yet another one of those songs in which Pachelbel had managed to hide himself.
Stand up beside the fireplace; take that look from off your face. You aint ever gonna burn my heart out.
18. 92.5 FM Community - Radio Luxembourg
Radio Luxembourg was able to subvert British radio licensing laws by transmitting with an insane amount of power from the Low Country.
(it is and does what it says on the box)
19. Let's Begin - Azumanga Daioh
You know the routine now. From the soundtrack album, this is an extended version of the little grabs that enclose the ad breaks.
(no lyrics)
20. New School Term 5 - Azumanga Daioh
Starting to notice a pattern here? This is played on a tin whistle and a tamborine of something and sounds insanely happy.
(no lyrics)
21. My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne - Under My Skin
One of those songs on the radio about a break up that spits acerbic. It also happens to play with dramatic pauses quite effectively.
Don't leave me hanging, in a city so dead. Held up so high on such a breakable thread.
22. C'est La Vie - B*Witched
Irish group B*Witched managed to combine plastic pop with traditional Irish Jiggery in a way that for about 3 months was fun but on reflection has gone the same way as a flock of seagulls haircut.
I'm the wolf today. I'll huff, I'll puff, I'll huff, I'll puff, I'll blow you away.
23. Three Lions '96 - Skinner, Baddiel and the Lightning Seeds
Hosts of Fantasy Football League and later Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned inadvertantly created a terrace chant that would resurface for 1998 and later for 2002. The songs speaks not of England's success but the fact that since 1966, every tournament has ended in dashed hopes and the feeling that England will never again reach those heights.
Three Lions on the shirt, Jules Rimet still gleaming. Thirty years of hurt, never stopped me dreaming.
24. Steve Wright: Ask Elvis - 01-09-06 - BBC Radio 2
Ask Elvis is a segment on Steve Wright's afternoon radio show in the UK in which people ask "Elvis" questions ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. This particular podcast opened with someone asking Elvis about the legals status of what a landowner actually owned.
A snap head rivet is different to a mushroom head rivet and they have very different applications. Give me the pieces, The King wants to build a battleship.
25. Steve Wright: Ask Elvis - 25-08-06 - BBC Radio 2
As above.
I think you're giving yourself a whole mess of problems if you try and stich hexagons together with a machine. I'd do that by hand.
February 27, 2007
Horse 725 - The Queen, The King & I
I don't really have a coherant thought today, so here goes:
Wasn there a flotsam about last night? I'm led to believe that the Oscars were on last night but to be honest, my interest in self-primping awards ceremonies is about as great as my love of rocket lettuce (so not much).
I was doing other things, and I heard something about the Queen and then not long afterwards heard mention of Scotland and thought someone must have been watching a documentary about the Act of Union which was passed in 1707 and therefore is now 300 years old.
I later found out that there was a film about the life of Idi Amin that had an actor win something or other. Know I already knew that Idi Amin was the self-proclaimed King of Scotland, and that logically if he were to fulfil his claim, then he'd either have to marry Queen Elizabeth who is technically the Queen of Scotland before she's the Queen of England by virtue of the aforementioned Act of Union of 1707, but even then he'd only be Queen's Consort like Prince Phillip is now, or Prince Albert was when he married Queen Victoria.
I suppose that Idi Amin could logically have actually been the King of Scotland had he committted regicide and by military invasion, taken over the Northern Kingdom of the British Isles and in some respects, the people of Scotland might have actually appreciated it because invariably they've been moving away from England emotionally now for about 30 years; even now to the point where they've devolved and gotten their own parliament with special rule for the country.
Then I heard about awards and things and wondered if there was something to do with the Six Nations or some such. It was only this morning that I actually realised that the Oscars were on last night, so I guess this means that I better find out who won the major awards for no other reason than it might be asked in a pub trivia competition down the track.
But a film about Idi Amin? Doesn't everybody love a jolly fat man? Well Idi Amin certainly loved himself. Look at the title he gave himself:
"His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular."
So what if the Oscars were on last night. I don't think my life will change much. Isn't Oscar the chap who lived in a dustbin?
Wasn there a flotsam about last night? I'm led to believe that the Oscars were on last night but to be honest, my interest in self-primping awards ceremonies is about as great as my love of rocket lettuce (so not much).
I was doing other things, and I heard something about the Queen and then not long afterwards heard mention of Scotland and thought someone must have been watching a documentary about the Act of Union which was passed in 1707 and therefore is now 300 years old.
I later found out that there was a film about the life of Idi Amin that had an actor win something or other. Know I already knew that Idi Amin was the self-proclaimed King of Scotland, and that logically if he were to fulfil his claim, then he'd either have to marry Queen Elizabeth who is technically the Queen of Scotland before she's the Queen of England by virtue of the aforementioned Act of Union of 1707, but even then he'd only be Queen's Consort like Prince Phillip is now, or Prince Albert was when he married Queen Victoria.
I suppose that Idi Amin could logically have actually been the King of Scotland had he committted regicide and by military invasion, taken over the Northern Kingdom of the British Isles and in some respects, the people of Scotland might have actually appreciated it because invariably they've been moving away from England emotionally now for about 30 years; even now to the point where they've devolved and gotten their own parliament with special rule for the country.
Then I heard about awards and things and wondered if there was something to do with the Six Nations or some such. It was only this morning that I actually realised that the Oscars were on last night, so I guess this means that I better find out who won the major awards for no other reason than it might be asked in a pub trivia competition down the track.
But a film about Idi Amin? Doesn't everybody love a jolly fat man? Well Idi Amin certainly loved himself. Look at the title he gave himself:
"His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular."
So what if the Oscars were on last night. I don't think my life will change much. Isn't Oscar the chap who lived in a dustbin?
February 26, 2007
Horse 724 - We Honestly Don't Care What Happens To You
SMH - No Obligation
This is an excerpt from today's Sydney Morning Herald:
A Sydney courtroom packed with supporters of terrorist suspect David Hicks has been told the Australian Government has no legal obligation to help the Guantanamo Bay inmate. The Government might have a moral obligation to assist Australian people abroad, but there was no legal basis for a Federal Court challenge to Hicks's incarceration by United States authorities, the Federal Court was today told.
A team of lawyers has launched the action in a bid to force the Government to take steps Hicks home. The 31-year-old has been detained without trial at the US naval base since January 2002, following his arrest in Afghanistan. The action against the Federal Government, federal Attorney-General Philip Ruddock and Foreign Minister Alexander Downer, seeks declarations and an order that could lead to the release of Hicks from the US military jail in Cuba.
Government lawyer, Solicitor-General David Bennett, QC, told the court a general obligation for the Federal Government to protect citizens abroad "is simply something that the law has never recognised".
However, The note inside Australian passports states:
The Governor-General of the Commonwealth of Australia, being the representative in Australia of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, request all those whom it may concern to allow the bearer, an Australian Citizen, to pass freely without let or hindrance and to afford him or her every assistance and protection of which he or she may stand in need.
Put simply - that note inside your passport is worthless.
The rub is this:
People of Australia - no matter what happens to you abroad, and whether you happen to be arrested without charge, fitted up for charge or even suffering torture, your country honestly doesn't care even an iota about your welfare. Legally they're not required to give a hoot and experience tells us that that they won't even so much as lift a finger to help you.
Yet this same government has the power to send you off to war without your consent for any reason. They have the power under sedition laws to permanently detain you without cause.
And you wonder why I'm not proud to be an Australian... why should I bother?
This is an excerpt from today's Sydney Morning Herald:
A Sydney courtroom packed with supporters of terrorist suspect David Hicks has been told the Australian Government has no legal obligation to help the Guantanamo Bay inmate. The Government might have a moral obligation to assist Australian people abroad, but there was no legal basis for a Federal Court challenge to Hicks's incarceration by United States authorities, the Federal Court was today told.
A team of lawyers has launched the action in a bid to force the Government to take steps Hicks home. The 31-year-old has been detained without trial at the US naval base since January 2002, following his arrest in Afghanistan. The action against the Federal Government, federal Attorney-General Philip Ruddock and Foreign Minister Alexander Downer, seeks declarations and an order that could lead to the release of Hicks from the US military jail in Cuba.
Government lawyer, Solicitor-General David Bennett, QC, told the court a general obligation for the Federal Government to protect citizens abroad "is simply something that the law has never recognised".
However, The note inside Australian passports states:
The Governor-General of the Commonwealth of Australia, being the representative in Australia of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, request all those whom it may concern to allow the bearer, an Australian Citizen, to pass freely without let or hindrance and to afford him or her every assistance and protection of which he or she may stand in need.
Put simply - that note inside your passport is worthless.
The rub is this:
People of Australia - no matter what happens to you abroad, and whether you happen to be arrested without charge, fitted up for charge or even suffering torture, your country honestly doesn't care even an iota about your welfare. Legally they're not required to give a hoot and experience tells us that that they won't even so much as lift a finger to help you.
Yet this same government has the power to send you off to war without your consent for any reason. They have the power under sedition laws to permanently detain you without cause.
And you wonder why I'm not proud to be an Australian... why should I bother?
February 23, 2007
Horse 723 - Butter or Guns?
Forbes Magazine which is famous for publishing its list of the world's biggest companies, has in its latest issue compiled a list of the world's fattest nations. The results based on BMI were somewhat surprising.
At the top of the list was the South Pacific island nation of Nauru. The region it seems is collectively winning as 8 out of the top ten are in the South Pacific. The USA predictably has come in at 9th and Australia weighed in at 21st. All is not lost though as the Old Dart, Britain was 28th.
Come on Australia, this is something else we can be World Champions in! Australia has world class cricketers, runners and swimmers who can beat the best - at 21st in the world for being a nation of Fatty-Boom-Bahs, it's a pretty poor effort. What makes this so impressive is that it actually takes less effort to win, not more.
Drive more, don't walk to the shops, use more remote controls, get stuff home delivered, walk less, watch more television, if you must play games then do it on X-Box or PlayStation. Maybe the words of The Prodigy and Hermann-Goering are in order.
Steel? We have no butter, but I ask you: would you rather have butter or guns? Shall we import lard or steel? Let me tell you! Preparedness makes us powerful, butter merely makes us fat. Lard?
We can be number 1 Australia, I know it!
At the top of the list was the South Pacific island nation of Nauru. The region it seems is collectively winning as 8 out of the top ten are in the South Pacific. The USA predictably has come in at 9th and Australia weighed in at 21st. All is not lost though as the Old Dart, Britain was 28th.
Come on Australia, this is something else we can be World Champions in! Australia has world class cricketers, runners and swimmers who can beat the best - at 21st in the world for being a nation of Fatty-Boom-Bahs, it's a pretty poor effort. What makes this so impressive is that it actually takes less effort to win, not more.
Drive more, don't walk to the shops, use more remote controls, get stuff home delivered, walk less, watch more television, if you must play games then do it on X-Box or PlayStation. Maybe the words of The Prodigy and Hermann-Goering are in order.
Steel? We have no butter, but I ask you: would you rather have butter or guns? Shall we import lard or steel? Let me tell you! Preparedness makes us powerful, butter merely makes us fat. Lard?
We can be number 1 Australia, I know it!
February 20, 2007
Horse 722 - I Love...
In perhaps one of those scarier moments of dagginess I think back to those days of 1992 when Semi-Hip-Hop-Christian group dc Talk came out with the album Free At Last. The opening track to this was the funkily misspelled Luv is a Verb.
It is perhaps quite well known that the Greeks had four words for their four concepts, and almost as well know that there is no direct word for it in most of the Eastern languages like Japanese, Korean and Mandarin. Perhaps the English word Love is not entirely silly, in there being only one word.
The noun and the verb in English (except for the variant which is a zero score in tennis etc) are in reality precisely the same thing. If someone were to say "I love chocolate" or "I love Top Gear", then the meaning although different in subject is still esentially the same as in "Jennifer loves Phillip" or "For God so loved the world that he gave His only Son".
Think about it, in all circumstances the object or person, surreal thing being loved is always the subject of some great interest.
Think about what your interests are, Did they happen to instantly happen to turn out like that? In quite a number of cases as many writers and philosophers have said, Love is as the direct result of choosing something; is therefore a highly active verb. If I happen to take a deep interest in something, then usually the investment that results is of some cost.
If you take this to its logical conclusion, all of us want to be loved deep down on some level because we have a need that someone should take an interest in us. I will love you not for your wit and talents, or pehaps some external beauty and charm but because of a distinct and obvious decision to do so. To love that person or thing for no inherant reason other than because it happens to be.
Think about the things in life that we happen to love: The chocolate is eaten, the football team loses, Jennifer and Phillip with both grow old lose their beauty, Top Gear only lasts 45 minutes. Even when God decides to love His creation, it happens to tell him to just piss off in as many words. So then, what the heck is the point to loving anything when obviously whatever it is will fail?
If you remember one simple fact it would be this God is love (1 John 4:8), since we're little reflections of that then it also follows that it must be someway connected to our nature; although we're imperfect, it's because we have to.
It is perhaps quite well known that the Greeks had four words for their four concepts, and almost as well know that there is no direct word for it in most of the Eastern languages like Japanese, Korean and Mandarin. Perhaps the English word Love is not entirely silly, in there being only one word.
The noun and the verb in English (except for the variant which is a zero score in tennis etc) are in reality precisely the same thing. If someone were to say "I love chocolate" or "I love Top Gear", then the meaning although different in subject is still esentially the same as in "Jennifer loves Phillip" or "For God so loved the world that he gave His only Son".
Think about it, in all circumstances the object or person, surreal thing being loved is always the subject of some great interest.
Think about what your interests are, Did they happen to instantly happen to turn out like that? In quite a number of cases as many writers and philosophers have said, Love is as the direct result of choosing something; is therefore a highly active verb. If I happen to take a deep interest in something, then usually the investment that results is of some cost.
If you take this to its logical conclusion, all of us want to be loved deep down on some level because we have a need that someone should take an interest in us. I will love you not for your wit and talents, or pehaps some external beauty and charm but because of a distinct and obvious decision to do so. To love that person or thing for no inherant reason other than because it happens to be.
Think about the things in life that we happen to love: The chocolate is eaten, the football team loses, Jennifer and Phillip with both grow old lose their beauty, Top Gear only lasts 45 minutes. Even when God decides to love His creation, it happens to tell him to just piss off in as many words. So then, what the heck is the point to loving anything when obviously whatever it is will fail?
If you remember one simple fact it would be this God is love (1 John 4:8), since we're little reflections of that then it also follows that it must be someway connected to our nature; although we're imperfect, it's because we have to.
February 18, 2007
Horse 721 - With Mind Bullets
I heard two things on the radio this morning that I think at least half way prove that the world is on an express train to total madness.
The Royal Australian Navy who is finding it a bit difficult at the moment to attract people will be having a recruitment drive at none other than the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras. I heard this on the news and literally snorted coffee out my nose.
What's going on here? I know that many of them already wear the uniforms (for other reasons) and that they may know all of the lyrics to "In The Navy" by the Village People, but given the know levels of intolerance and obvious cruelty within the military, you'd have to fear for the safety of these people not from the enemy but from being bashed by the handsA of their own comrades.
ASIO on the other hand is also looking for new recruits. The suggestion is that the conditions for entry have been relaxed and they'll now accept people who have criminal records but only ones with drugs charges.
The old addage is that the best way to catch a thief is to find another thief to scout them out because they're already in the mindset for it. Is this then a congruous thought? Is the suggestion now that if people on drugs already think that there's someone watching them, then when it comes to international epspionage, they're already well equipped? Somehow I seriously doubt that the government actually is using radiation from the television to control our minds, but if they happen to be watching us by using lampposts, then we're all in serious trouble.
The Royal Australian Navy who is finding it a bit difficult at the moment to attract people will be having a recruitment drive at none other than the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras. I heard this on the news and literally snorted coffee out my nose.
What's going on here? I know that many of them already wear the uniforms (for other reasons) and that they may know all of the lyrics to "In The Navy" by the Village People, but given the know levels of intolerance and obvious cruelty within the military, you'd have to fear for the safety of these people not from the enemy but from being bashed by the handsA of their own comrades.
ASIO on the other hand is also looking for new recruits. The suggestion is that the conditions for entry have been relaxed and they'll now accept people who have criminal records but only ones with drugs charges.
The old addage is that the best way to catch a thief is to find another thief to scout them out because they're already in the mindset for it. Is this then a congruous thought? Is the suggestion now that if people on drugs already think that there's someone watching them, then when it comes to international epspionage, they're already well equipped? Somehow I seriously doubt that the government actually is using radiation from the television to control our minds, but if they happen to be watching us by using lampposts, then we're all in serious trouble.
February 16, 2007
Horse 720 - Unlawful Combatants
People are trying to convince me somehow that due process was followed through when applied to the detainees at Guantanamo Bay. I made the comment that if someone could prove otherwise that I'd eat my hat.
David Hicks is one such person who has been held there without charge. The terms of being an "Unlawful Combatant" were actually held to be invalid when the US Supreme Court ruled against the US Government in the case of Hamdan v. Rumsfeld (2006) in which it was held that the terms of imprisonment "violated both the UCMJ and the four Geneva Conventions."
Deeming people as "Unlawful Combatants" is fairly tricky since there is no real oversight within US Law or International Law. What is to stop someone from flying through the US, detained and declared as an unlawful combatant, thrown to who knows where for interrogation purposes? The answer still seems to be shrouded in hand waving and other mysterious "trust us" assurances. Can you really blame people who look at this scheme as a "lock them up, we'll invent the excuse later" kind of thing? The current administration plays fast and loose with things here which shouldn't be exactly applauded but that is all off topic.
Unlawful Combatants do not fall under the UCMJ, the Geneva Convention, nor the US Code. They are foriegn nationals whose countries deny any association with them. Logically it follows then that they are being held without authority. Since the term "Unlawful Combatant" is also unknown in international humanitarian law under whose authority are they incarcerated under?
This I think is quite an important point. In the wake of this the Military Commissions Act of 2006 was passed in order to "bring to justice terrorists and other unlawful enemy combatants through full and fair trials by military commissions, and for other purposes."
Yet the act is being applied retrospectively. In the case of Hicks, he was sold to the US Special Forces in 2001 some five years before the act. The US administration has not alleged Hicks engaged in any actual acts of terrorism, nor that he killed any U.S. or Coalition soldier, so therefore is not being held as a POW but under a piece of legislation that did not exist at the time or under a set of terms that violated the US Constitution and the Geneva Conventions.
Suffice to say, I have written to my Federal MP Louise Markus which I expect will precisely nothing, since she has never responded to any letter I have ever sent - that's democracy for you isn't it? And since she's a member of the Liberal Party in theory supports the Australian Government's standpoint.
I have also written to the Prime Minister's Office which I also expect will do nothing because he personally supports the US Government on this.
Just as an aside, the following is the first Article of the United Nations Convention Against Torture
Article 1
1. Any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person for such purposes as obtaining from him or a third person information or a confession, punishing him for an act he or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, or intimidating or coercing him or a third person, or for any reason based on discrimination of any kind, when such pain or suffering is inflicted by or at the instigation of or with the consent or acquiescence of a public official or other person acting in an official capacity. It does not include pain or suffering arising only from, inherent in or incidental to lawful sanctions.
Torture has been alledgedly used on the Unlawful Combatants in Guantanamo Bay. Quite frankly this makes me sick. The fact that this exists tends to make me think that there are some truly evil people running the world.
February 14, 2007
!
♫ Vielleicht wird sie Tanzen mit mir kommen
Wenn sie etwas sagt, wird sich sie vorstellen ♫
Wie besonder sie ist!
Wenn sie etwas sagt, wird sich sie vorstellen ♫
Wie besonder sie ist!
Horse 719 - Only YOU!
During medieval times, there was a friar who in his spare time, would collect flowers, plants and herbs to make cures for various illnesses. He suddenly got the idea to become a florist and sell flowers to everyone in the village at very low prices. As it turned out, his religious beliefs shaped him into a very paitient person, thus causing him to excel in customer service.
The people of his town began to turn to him for all of their flower needs. This infuriated all of the other local florists due to the fact that they were all losing customers and money, and so it was that they all got together and pooled whatever money they had. They used that money to hire a thief to break into the friar's flower shop and steal all of his flowers and then burn the flower shop to the ground. The friar never collected flowers again and abandoned his faith. He commited scuicide two weeks later.
The morale of this story: "Only you can prevent florist friars."
Also as an aside:
Ever since 1944 when Smokey the Bear signs started appearing in the New York Subway, there has been the remarkable record of there being not even a single forest fire on the New York Subway.
The people of his town began to turn to him for all of their flower needs. This infuriated all of the other local florists due to the fact that they were all losing customers and money, and so it was that they all got together and pooled whatever money they had. They used that money to hire a thief to break into the friar's flower shop and steal all of his flowers and then burn the flower shop to the ground. The friar never collected flowers again and abandoned his faith. He commited scuicide two weeks later.
The morale of this story: "Only you can prevent florist friars."
Also as an aside:
Ever since 1944 when Smokey the Bear signs started appearing in the New York Subway, there has been the remarkable record of there being not even a single forest fire on the New York Subway.
February 12, 2007
Horse 718 - Quite Frankly, We're Lost
A report released by IATA last week has stated that the practice of naming airports after famous people is likely to cause confusion amongst pilots and especially those from Non-English speaking backgrounds. On the ABC this morning there were a few people with serious and stern voices condemning the practice as though something terrible had occurred.
How hillarious is this? Are they actually serious?
John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York city is famous the world over. Would people be confused if they named it after the suburb it happens to be in? Probably yes, for it would then be called Jamaica Airport.
Charles de Gaulle International Airport not surprisingly is named after the founder of the fifth Republic of France. People might be confused if it was named Roissy after the local area.
John Lennon International not surprisingly is in Liverpool. If you were a Serbian pilot who didn't happen to have heard of The Beatles then you're forgiven.
Chinggis Khaan International Airport of course is in Mongolia, but perhaps one would prefer not to undertake similar travel plans to the man himself.
The point is that if you are a qualified pilot for a big airline, wouldn't you be expected to plan the whole flight path rather than just hope? Imagine you're flying into Charles Kingsford-Smith from the United States:
This is your pilot speaking. We are currently flying at 19,000 feet. Look, we don't actually know where the airport is. Let's just fly around Sydney for a bit and find the nearest one.
Ok, bad example. Because Sydney only has one international airport then this would work, but for somewhere like New York which has three or Tokyo which has two (which are both over 90 miles from the centre of town), pilots would be lost. Would you honestly feel safe on a plane with a pilot who didn't know where they were going? Message for IATA: Planes aren't taxis!
How hillarious is this? Are they actually serious?
John F. Kennedy International Airport in New York city is famous the world over. Would people be confused if they named it after the suburb it happens to be in? Probably yes, for it would then be called Jamaica Airport.
Charles de Gaulle International Airport not surprisingly is named after the founder of the fifth Republic of France. People might be confused if it was named Roissy after the local area.
John Lennon International not surprisingly is in Liverpool. If you were a Serbian pilot who didn't happen to have heard of The Beatles then you're forgiven.
Chinggis Khaan International Airport of course is in Mongolia, but perhaps one would prefer not to undertake similar travel plans to the man himself.
The point is that if you are a qualified pilot for a big airline, wouldn't you be expected to plan the whole flight path rather than just hope? Imagine you're flying into Charles Kingsford-Smith from the United States:
This is your pilot speaking. We are currently flying at 19,000 feet. Look, we don't actually know where the airport is. Let's just fly around Sydney for a bit and find the nearest one.
Ok, bad example. Because Sydney only has one international airport then this would work, but for somewhere like New York which has three or Tokyo which has two (which are both over 90 miles from the centre of town), pilots would be lost. Would you honestly feel safe on a plane with a pilot who didn't know where they were going? Message for IATA: Planes aren't taxis!
February 07, 2007
Horse 717 - Doing The iPod Shuffle II
Here's how it works:
1. Open up the music player on your computer (or your iPod, possibly).
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit the "shuffle" command.
4. Tell us the title of the next ten songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing.So, without further adieu...
1. The Deadwood Stage (Whip-Crack-Away) - Doris Day
This song comes from the film and later the stage musical Calamity Jane, which also had the Oscar for the best song in a film for 1953 "Secret Love". Though Doris Day had been described as "the world's oldest virgin", her career off the silver screen was far more interesting with her husband and Jerry Rosenthal responsible for racking up debts of $20m which left her bankrupt.
2. Love Machine - Morning Musume (v3)
Released on 09/09/99 at 9:09am in Tokyo, this was the 9th single from the group. Morning Musume hold auditions every year for new members as people come and go from the group, such that as at 2007 we're currently up to Version 8.
3. Ebaum's World Dot Com - Lemon Demon
Perhaps an overly cynical song about how Eric and Neil Bauman have made a fortune by filching content from other internet portals. Lemon Demon are more famous for their flash and animutations than actual music though.
4. I Don't Like Spam (Bed) - Radio 1
One of the 519 radio jingles I possess with the lady from the now ubiquitous Monty Python "Spam Sketch". I suspect that the underlying track has itself been lifted from the House of Pain track Jump Around.
5. Bloody Stupid Mary - Las Ketchup
Las Ketchup released Aserejé in 2002 which miost people wlll remember as "The Ketchup Song". This Latin inspired song is a breezy track that in the light of the competition for the 2006 Eurovision Song Contest looked hopelessly inadequate. By itself it's a Sunday Afternoon with Iced Tea and Lemon type song.
6. Tony Blair Rings IKEA - Radio 1
Long before Dead Ringers, John Culshaw was on with DJ Chris Moyles in the afternoons right after Mark and Lard. Culshaw would phone people up using the same range of voices which would later appear on both Radio 4 and later BBC One.
7. Keep Belongings With You At All Times - London Underground
In addition to the radio idents and commercials I have, I also happen to have a series of announcements from the Jubilee Line and the Central Lines of the Underground. I think I'm a qualified anorak now.
8. Jump - Girls Aloud
In 2003, Girls Aloud covered "Jump" for the movie soundtrack Love Actually. The film however uses the Pointer Sisters' original version in the film itself due to American audiences being unaware of Girls Aloud, who feature in the end credits.
This made it to #2 in the UK and when the film clip was finally released, Polydor found itself subject to a security scare because MI5 were convinced that it was shot around Number 10 and not on a stage set.
9. Smelly Cat - Phoebe
This song probably should have been recorded by Phoebe whilst Friends was at its height of success. From the top? There is no "top", that's the beauty of Smelly Cat.
10. Leeds, Leeds, Leeds! - 1993 Leeds Utd FA Cup Squad
Few football songs are as cheesy as this with its tin whistle and Yorkie singers. This was the beginning of the end for Leeds Utd, as the winners of the last League before the creation of the Premier League, they won too eraly to benefit from playing in Europe and paid a fortune in transfers to stay on top - which failed.
I'm still not convinced of the randomness of this thing you know...
1. Open up the music player on your computer (or your iPod, possibly).
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit the "shuffle" command.
4. Tell us the title of the next ten songs that show up (with their musicians), no matter how embarrassing.So, without further adieu...
1. The Deadwood Stage (Whip-Crack-Away) - Doris Day
This song comes from the film and later the stage musical Calamity Jane, which also had the Oscar for the best song in a film for 1953 "Secret Love". Though Doris Day had been described as "the world's oldest virgin", her career off the silver screen was far more interesting with her husband and Jerry Rosenthal responsible for racking up debts of $20m which left her bankrupt.
2. Love Machine - Morning Musume (v3)
Released on 09/09/99 at 9:09am in Tokyo, this was the 9th single from the group. Morning Musume hold auditions every year for new members as people come and go from the group, such that as at 2007 we're currently up to Version 8.
3. Ebaum's World Dot Com - Lemon Demon
Perhaps an overly cynical song about how Eric and Neil Bauman have made a fortune by filching content from other internet portals. Lemon Demon are more famous for their flash and animutations than actual music though.
4. I Don't Like Spam (Bed) - Radio 1
One of the 519 radio jingles I possess with the lady from the now ubiquitous Monty Python "Spam Sketch". I suspect that the underlying track has itself been lifted from the House of Pain track Jump Around.
5. Bloody Stupid Mary - Las Ketchup
Las Ketchup released Aserejé in 2002 which miost people wlll remember as "The Ketchup Song". This Latin inspired song is a breezy track that in the light of the competition for the 2006 Eurovision Song Contest looked hopelessly inadequate. By itself it's a Sunday Afternoon with Iced Tea and Lemon type song.
6. Tony Blair Rings IKEA - Radio 1
Long before Dead Ringers, John Culshaw was on with DJ Chris Moyles in the afternoons right after Mark and Lard. Culshaw would phone people up using the same range of voices which would later appear on both Radio 4 and later BBC One.
7. Keep Belongings With You At All Times - London Underground
In addition to the radio idents and commercials I have, I also happen to have a series of announcements from the Jubilee Line and the Central Lines of the Underground. I think I'm a qualified anorak now.
8. Jump - Girls Aloud
In 2003, Girls Aloud covered "Jump" for the movie soundtrack Love Actually. The film however uses the Pointer Sisters' original version in the film itself due to American audiences being unaware of Girls Aloud, who feature in the end credits.
This made it to #2 in the UK and when the film clip was finally released, Polydor found itself subject to a security scare because MI5 were convinced that it was shot around Number 10 and not on a stage set.
9. Smelly Cat - Phoebe
This song probably should have been recorded by Phoebe whilst Friends was at its height of success. From the top? There is no "top", that's the beauty of Smelly Cat.
10. Leeds, Leeds, Leeds! - 1993 Leeds Utd FA Cup Squad
Few football songs are as cheesy as this with its tin whistle and Yorkie singers. This was the beginning of the end for Leeds Utd, as the winners of the last League before the creation of the Premier League, they won too eraly to benefit from playing in Europe and paid a fortune in transfers to stay on top - which failed.
I'm still not convinced of the randomness of this thing you know...
Horse 716 - Super-Heated
The following story stems from a scoreless draw in the Merseyside derby. Liverpool 0 - Everton 0 is a result although perfectly acceptable in the eyes of the city did nothing to ease tensions between the red and blue halves.
Rafael Benitez annoyed Everton by calling them a small club in his post match press conference on Saturday. Rafa Benitez upset the neigbours by pointing out, quite correctly, that they're a small club because they don't happen to be one of the big four, or playing in Europe. Benitez made the comment in a TV interview after the match and repeated it in his post match press conference. Afterwards the Reds' boss was unrepentant.
"After a game when a team comes to Anfield and plays a top side like that, looking for a draw, what else can you call them?" Benitez reasonably asked. "Playing against a small team, it is not easy when they have nine men behind the ball. One team wanted to win while one team came not to lose. We controlled the game and had all the possession, and they had one chance from our mistake. After that we controlled everything."
Rafa's remarks upset the Blues. Chief Executive Keith Wyness had a tantrum in the directors box while Bill Kenwright threw his toys out of his pram, very literally. He had to be exported out of the ground for fear of throwing things at the rival officials. Meanwhile, the Everton manager Lee Carsley claims Everton's players feel 'insulted' by Rafael Benitez's comments which have now sparked a furore on Merseyside.
That prompted an angry response from Everton supporters, and led to chief executive Keith Wyness expressing his club's disappointment "to hear such an unnecessary comment". Wyness added: "I suspect he is in a minority of one in believing Everton is, in any respect, a small football club. Somehow we just expect more of a Liverpool manager."
My only surprise from all of this is that anyone was surprised. Whilst perhaps nowhere near as bad as the sectarian violence that can hang around Old Firm matches in Glasgow, the local media in the area has to be seen as neutral for as you walk through the city you either find red, blue or black doors (for people who either don't care or have internal fights in the house).
Added to this is the buyout of Liverpol for £475m and the promise that when they new stadium is built at Stanley Park, Everton will most definately not be allowed to share. That is a staggering amount of dosh, and one which should turn the blue half green with envy at the red.
Rafael Benitez annoyed Everton by calling them a small club in his post match press conference on Saturday. Rafa Benitez upset the neigbours by pointing out, quite correctly, that they're a small club because they don't happen to be one of the big four, or playing in Europe. Benitez made the comment in a TV interview after the match and repeated it in his post match press conference. Afterwards the Reds' boss was unrepentant.
"After a game when a team comes to Anfield and plays a top side like that, looking for a draw, what else can you call them?" Benitez reasonably asked. "Playing against a small team, it is not easy when they have nine men behind the ball. One team wanted to win while one team came not to lose. We controlled the game and had all the possession, and they had one chance from our mistake. After that we controlled everything."
Rafa's remarks upset the Blues. Chief Executive Keith Wyness had a tantrum in the directors box while Bill Kenwright threw his toys out of his pram, very literally. He had to be exported out of the ground for fear of throwing things at the rival officials. Meanwhile, the Everton manager Lee Carsley claims Everton's players feel 'insulted' by Rafael Benitez's comments which have now sparked a furore on Merseyside.
That prompted an angry response from Everton supporters, and led to chief executive Keith Wyness expressing his club's disappointment "to hear such an unnecessary comment". Wyness added: "I suspect he is in a minority of one in believing Everton is, in any respect, a small football club. Somehow we just expect more of a Liverpool manager."
My only surprise from all of this is that anyone was surprised. Whilst perhaps nowhere near as bad as the sectarian violence that can hang around Old Firm matches in Glasgow, the local media in the area has to be seen as neutral for as you walk through the city you either find red, blue or black doors (for people who either don't care or have internal fights in the house).
Added to this is the buyout of Liverpol for £475m and the promise that when they new stadium is built at Stanley Park, Everton will most definately not be allowed to share. That is a staggering amount of dosh, and one which should turn the blue half green with envy at the red.
February 05, 2007
Horse 715 - Super-bowl
The United States of America I suspect will have ground to almost a halt for these couple of hours as the 41st Superbowl takes place. In terms of actual money spent on advertising and number of television sets tuned in, then this rates only behind the Football World Cup Final for a worldwide audience.
To be totally fair, you have to hand it to America when it comes to putting on a massive show. The Superbowl does attract major superstars to appear at half-time and the hype that surrounds it must be ludicrous.
Yet for all of this, the main criticism of the game in Australia is the two points that the game although only an hour long, takes four hours to complete and that there are too many rules. This I hope helps to disperse that.
When it comes to games that take a long time, we in the colonies have a game that days not 4 hours by 6 hours multiplied by 5 days. A cricket Test Match if played to completion can take up to 37.5 hours in total if the over rate is slow. That's a shade over NINE TIMES as long.
The other main problem that people in Australia seem to have with the NFL is the myriad of rules. If you look at the official rulebook, then you only find a mere 34 laws that actually govern the game of American Football. Again cricket exceeds this with 46 Laws.
In fact the Laws of cricket are so seemingly arbitrary that it actually requires a meeting of a Privy Council of the UK House of Lords to get them changed. From a constitutional standpoint, it's the reason why appeals are still allowed through the state parliament of Western Australia. I very much doubt that you'd get a select committee of the US Congress just to sit on the adjudication of rules for American Football.
Of course there is one major difference which cricket does have in its favour. If you happened to see someone at a cricket match taking a cup tea, you might think that they were jolly good folk but at an NFL game, they'd just look a bit naff.
Addenda: Indianapolis beat Chicago 29-17 to win Super Bowl XLI in rain that made parts of England look positively like the Sahara - it was filthy.
To be totally fair, you have to hand it to America when it comes to putting on a massive show. The Superbowl does attract major superstars to appear at half-time and the hype that surrounds it must be ludicrous.
Yet for all of this, the main criticism of the game in Australia is the two points that the game although only an hour long, takes four hours to complete and that there are too many rules. This I hope helps to disperse that.
When it comes to games that take a long time, we in the colonies have a game that days not 4 hours by 6 hours multiplied by 5 days. A cricket Test Match if played to completion can take up to 37.5 hours in total if the over rate is slow. That's a shade over NINE TIMES as long.
The other main problem that people in Australia seem to have with the NFL is the myriad of rules. If you look at the official rulebook, then you only find a mere 34 laws that actually govern the game of American Football. Again cricket exceeds this with 46 Laws.
In fact the Laws of cricket are so seemingly arbitrary that it actually requires a meeting of a Privy Council of the UK House of Lords to get them changed. From a constitutional standpoint, it's the reason why appeals are still allowed through the state parliament of Western Australia. I very much doubt that you'd get a select committee of the US Congress just to sit on the adjudication of rules for American Football.
Of course there is one major difference which cricket does have in its favour. If you happened to see someone at a cricket match taking a cup tea, you might think that they were jolly good folk but at an NFL game, they'd just look a bit naff.
Addenda: Indianapolis beat Chicago 29-17 to win Super Bowl XLI in rain that made parts of England look positively like the Sahara - it was filthy.
February 03, 2007
Horse 714 - Super Casino
News reports indicate that Britain's first "Super Casino" (It's Super, so it must be good) has been awarded not to the city of London or Blackpool but Manchester. The people of Blackpool who have been the hotbed of slot machines now for the past 60 years are a bit disappointed, but the area of Manchester that the proposed casino is to be built is an area that is currently a bit run down.
Perhaps the people who live in the run down areas decided that they needed a few new shiny things and that the new casino will make the place a bit pretty what with all the coloured lights etc. Are these people who live in these areas expecting to get rich from it? By playing the machines? I can see how this will work.
It seems to me that the only people who can afford to gamble are those who come from a non-run down area, and they'll lose their money sp it effectively means that while these people lose their money to the one armed bandits, that the rest of Manchester will tend towards being run down. Still, it will be the first time that a lot of them will have actually seen fruit.
It is rather a bit of a mixed message though isn't it? If the government is seen to be tough on crime and the causes of crime, then this doesn't help their cause. A Casino after all is a form of organised crime, it just happens to be a form of very very slow theft.
I understand how poker machines work. Basically you put your money in and then you geta bit of a lights display and a crap show for about 20 seconds and then you realise that the money you just inserted is gone. Eventually you can delightfully fritter away your paycheque, car, house, family etc and be free of these things... hmm, that's not a good thing is it?
The Millenium Dome Consortium will apply for a judicial review of the decision to approve the casino for Manchester and meanwhile the people of Blackpool wil just write a nasty letter... inside a stick of rock candy.
Perhaps the people who live in the run down areas decided that they needed a few new shiny things and that the new casino will make the place a bit pretty what with all the coloured lights etc. Are these people who live in these areas expecting to get rich from it? By playing the machines? I can see how this will work.
It seems to me that the only people who can afford to gamble are those who come from a non-run down area, and they'll lose their money sp it effectively means that while these people lose their money to the one armed bandits, that the rest of Manchester will tend towards being run down. Still, it will be the first time that a lot of them will have actually seen fruit.
It is rather a bit of a mixed message though isn't it? If the government is seen to be tough on crime and the causes of crime, then this doesn't help their cause. A Casino after all is a form of organised crime, it just happens to be a form of very very slow theft.
I understand how poker machines work. Basically you put your money in and then you geta bit of a lights display and a crap show for about 20 seconds and then you realise that the money you just inserted is gone. Eventually you can delightfully fritter away your paycheque, car, house, family etc and be free of these things... hmm, that's not a good thing is it?
The Millenium Dome Consortium will apply for a judicial review of the decision to approve the casino for Manchester and meanwhile the people of Blackpool wil just write a nasty letter... inside a stick of rock candy.
February 02, 2007
Horse 713 - Gentlemen... BEHOLD!
??? People really are this thick!
Abridged version: LED light signs depicting the Mooninites from Aqua Teen Hunger Force are places in major cities all over the US to promote the new movie that comes out next month (which is going to kick butt up and down the street by the way). Moronic Boston citizens and police officers spring into action, identifying something that looks not unlike a Light Brite as an explosive device, and practically shut down all major traffic routes. BATTERIES + WIRES = ARGH CALL THE FBI!!
"It is outrageous, in a post 9/11 world, that a company would use this type of marketing scheme," Boston Mayor Thomas M. Menino said in a statement.
Woah, batman forbid a company do something other than a 40-foot wide billboard on the side of some building. Blargh! I guess I never really got the full idea of how scared of their own shadow 9/11 has made some people, until now.
I laugh at your puny three dimensions for we on the moon have five... five thousand. This sucks let's go home.
Abridged version: LED light signs depicting the Mooninites from Aqua Teen Hunger Force are places in major cities all over the US to promote the new movie that comes out next month (which is going to kick butt up and down the street by the way). Moronic Boston citizens and police officers spring into action, identifying something that looks not unlike a Light Brite as an explosive device, and practically shut down all major traffic routes. BATTERIES + WIRES = ARGH CALL THE FBI!!
"It is outrageous, in a post 9/11 world, that a company would use this type of marketing scheme," Boston Mayor Thomas M. Menino said in a statement.
Woah, batman forbid a company do something other than a 40-foot wide billboard on the side of some building. Blargh! I guess I never really got the full idea of how scared of their own shadow 9/11 has made some people, until now.
I laugh at your puny three dimensions for we on the moon have five... five thousand. This sucks let's go home.
January 30, 2007
Horse 712 - This One's A Boy
All the way back in Horse 579 , I remarked that my little red Ka was a girl. Yesterday she was in at the Ford mechanics so I drove my sister's Pulsar to work; this confirmed my suspicion that the Pulsar is most definately a boy.
The Pulsar sits up and does exactly what you tell it to, no questions asked. It points into and out of corners, accelerates upon request and never ever weaves or deviates. Perfectly sensible motoring... but for that noise.
At only 1.8L the Pulsar doesn't really need a bean tin for a muffler. You rather get the idea that the previous owner had dreams of being a hoon and that was it, there weren't any other mods, just the muffler; no real skill at all. The noises that come out the back are of those of a boistrous young yap, who when faced with real competition from anything remotely resembling a performance car is quickly put in it's place.
Perhaps the words of Shakespeare are appropriate:
A poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot; full of sound and fury; signifying nothing.
A little harsh? Rosalini does not pretend to be a performance car, but she drifts through traffic silently and quickly. The Silver Pulsar by virtue of being just a little bigger does lose a little bit of usefulness in heavy traffic. Very much a boy car: Noisy & Clumsy... but better put together than slugs and snails and puppy dogs tails - what was that person thinking?
The Pulsar sits up and does exactly what you tell it to, no questions asked. It points into and out of corners, accelerates upon request and never ever weaves or deviates. Perfectly sensible motoring... but for that noise.
At only 1.8L the Pulsar doesn't really need a bean tin for a muffler. You rather get the idea that the previous owner had dreams of being a hoon and that was it, there weren't any other mods, just the muffler; no real skill at all. The noises that come out the back are of those of a boistrous young yap, who when faced with real competition from anything remotely resembling a performance car is quickly put in it's place.
Perhaps the words of Shakespeare are appropriate:
A poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot; full of sound and fury; signifying nothing.
A little harsh? Rosalini does not pretend to be a performance car, but she drifts through traffic silently and quickly. The Silver Pulsar by virtue of being just a little bigger does lose a little bit of usefulness in heavy traffic. Very much a boy car: Noisy & Clumsy... but better put together than slugs and snails and puppy dogs tails - what was that person thinking?
January 29, 2007
Horse 711 - Let The Ruler Rule
The Australian Open has come to an end with Serena Williams and Roger Federer being crowned as respective champions with some of the most decisive tennis I have ever seen. Serena surely has put all critics to heel by making World No.1 Sharapova look silly and Federer passed through his tenth Grand Slam title without dropping a set; I suspect he will win all four in 2007.
One thing I don't like about tennis (which must be said is a game of skill, battle of wills, clever thinking, and athleticism) is the ability introduced at the US Open last year, to be able to "challenge" line calls. A friend of mine suggested that because it is only able to be done on the show courts that this further benefits the top players but I see this as something far more incidious.
The thing about sport in general is that if you happen to stuff up, you aren't going to get lauded, or put a company into bankruptcy, endanger peoples lives or get fired. Sports are one of the few places in this life when one can acheive total perfection. Hand in hand with this happens to be the person in charge, who in my opinion should have total, exact and perfect authority over proceedings.
On the sporting field one is subject to certain rules and the referee/umpire/gamemaster as the authority one is playing under, even if they know nothing and have no concept of the rules, even if they're totally biased, then the players simply should not have the ability to question anything at all.
There are a few classic examples where the referee either has or should have exerted this authority. John McEnroe should have been sent off on multiple occasions for talking back, Ian Meckiff's cricket career was ended prematurely as a result of his bowling action when he was called for throwing four times in his only over at Brisbane in November 1963 during the first Test against South Africa by umpire Colin Egar. I can think of least a few dozen examples of motor racing cars either being banned or disqualified for technical infringements and on the football pitch, red cards are given for unsporting conduct or more frequently dissent.
Why then should professional tennis players who make their living playing what is after all a game, under a set of rules, then be allowed to question those people who have been given the job to interpret them? Grant that the technology exists, but as per the 3rd Umpire in cricket the technology in my opinion should only be allowed to be referred to by either the chair umpire, the linesmen or an independant referee who is still part of the refereeing staff.
I do believe that someone should review referees if they happen to do a bad job but as a player it's out job to learn to take the good with the bad. The ultimate response to bad refereeing is simply to play better. Both champions Serena Williams and Roger Federer passed through their finals without "challenging" anything. Does this prove my point?
Addenda: I agree with BJD's assertation that MySpace happens to look really silly. I for one have never seen a single MySpace site that looks remotely like I want to visit. Kind of like those vacant homes that squatters live in.
One thing I don't like about tennis (which must be said is a game of skill, battle of wills, clever thinking, and athleticism) is the ability introduced at the US Open last year, to be able to "challenge" line calls. A friend of mine suggested that because it is only able to be done on the show courts that this further benefits the top players but I see this as something far more incidious.
The thing about sport in general is that if you happen to stuff up, you aren't going to get lauded, or put a company into bankruptcy, endanger peoples lives or get fired. Sports are one of the few places in this life when one can acheive total perfection. Hand in hand with this happens to be the person in charge, who in my opinion should have total, exact and perfect authority over proceedings.
On the sporting field one is subject to certain rules and the referee/umpire/gamemaster as the authority one is playing under, even if they know nothing and have no concept of the rules, even if they're totally biased, then the players simply should not have the ability to question anything at all.
There are a few classic examples where the referee either has or should have exerted this authority. John McEnroe should have been sent off on multiple occasions for talking back, Ian Meckiff's cricket career was ended prematurely as a result of his bowling action when he was called for throwing four times in his only over at Brisbane in November 1963 during the first Test against South Africa by umpire Colin Egar. I can think of least a few dozen examples of motor racing cars either being banned or disqualified for technical infringements and on the football pitch, red cards are given for unsporting conduct or more frequently dissent.
Why then should professional tennis players who make their living playing what is after all a game, under a set of rules, then be allowed to question those people who have been given the job to interpret them? Grant that the technology exists, but as per the 3rd Umpire in cricket the technology in my opinion should only be allowed to be referred to by either the chair umpire, the linesmen or an independant referee who is still part of the refereeing staff.
I do believe that someone should review referees if they happen to do a bad job but as a player it's out job to learn to take the good with the bad. The ultimate response to bad refereeing is simply to play better. Both champions Serena Williams and Roger Federer passed through their finals without "challenging" anything. Does this prove my point?
Addenda: I agree with BJD's assertation that MySpace happens to look really silly. I for one have never seen a single MySpace site that looks remotely like I want to visit. Kind of like those vacant homes that squatters live in.
January 28, 2007
Horse 710 - Two Pints & A Wimmen, Please!
I was reading through the great and powerful London Times when I stumbled upon this article.
Lonely Welsh people in a last ditch effort to snag themselves a lady friend have taken to getting their mugshots on cartons of milk. Isolated young farmers in Wales are finding it so hard to meet anyone new that they are looking for love by putting their photographs on the side of milk cartoons. The inference is that with the long hours and the nature of being out in the middle of nowhere, that many farmers struggle to enjoy any social life at all, let alone find a partner.
Quite famously, the side of milk cartons was once reserved for the faces of missing persons. This if anything could tell people where those missing persons happen to be... farming in Wales. I had an interesting thought though - Does the kind of milk carton that one gets their face on indicate what sort of lady they are looking for?
Skim Milk - Looking for a skinny young wench
Full Fat - Looking for a sturdier lass
UHT - Looking for one with no taste?
It does make you wonder about the Welsh though, I thought that they were all content with their woolly friends.
and yes, I failed to get through an article about Wales without making a sheep joke
Lonely Welsh people in a last ditch effort to snag themselves a lady friend have taken to getting their mugshots on cartons of milk. Isolated young farmers in Wales are finding it so hard to meet anyone new that they are looking for love by putting their photographs on the side of milk cartoons. The inference is that with the long hours and the nature of being out in the middle of nowhere, that many farmers struggle to enjoy any social life at all, let alone find a partner.
Quite famously, the side of milk cartons was once reserved for the faces of missing persons. This if anything could tell people where those missing persons happen to be... farming in Wales. I had an interesting thought though - Does the kind of milk carton that one gets their face on indicate what sort of lady they are looking for?
Skim Milk - Looking for a skinny young wench
Full Fat - Looking for a sturdier lass
UHT - Looking for one with no taste?
It does make you wonder about the Welsh though, I thought that they were all content with their woolly friends.
and yes, I failed to get through an article about Wales without making a sheep joke
January 23, 2007
Horse 709 - Not Obvious
How many states are in the United States of America?
Whilst people may say that there are 50, then this would be patently wrong because the correct answer is 46.
Huh? I hear you ask. That doesn't make any sense. Well the long and the short of it is that it makes even less sense when I explain this but first a history lesson.
4th July 1776 - the only date in American history that everyone without fail happens to know. It's the date upon which the Declaration of Independance was presented to the British. If you look at "Old Glory" you'll find 13 stripes for the original 13 colonies. These are thus.
Province of New Hampshire
Province of Massachusetts Bay
Colony of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations
Connecticut Colony
Province of New York
Province of New Jersey
Province of Pennsylvania
Delaware Colony
Province of Maryland
Colony and Dominion of Virginia
Province of North Carolina
Province of South Carolina
Province of Georgia
Sounds proper and normal so far but upon further examination we find a few rouges.
In 1785 the residents of Kentucky County petitioned Virginia for their own legislature. The petitioned the state legislature for the County to be recognized as "free and independent, to be known by the name of the Commonwealth of Kentucky." On June 4, 1792 Kentucky County became officially the "Commonwealth of Kentucky."
1. Kentucky is NOT a state, it's a Commonwealth.
Virginia itself was never a state. It had formally declared its own independance from Great Britain on Jun 29, 1776. Virginia's constition formally states (and I checked this through their website) that "Commissions and Grants shall run, In the Name of the Commonwealth of Virginia, and bear taste by the Governor with the Seal of the Commonwealth annexed."
2. Virginia is NOT a state, it's a Commonwealth.
The Official Seal of Pennsylvania does not use the term, but legal processes are in the name of the Commonwealth and it is a traditional official designation used in referring to the state.
3. Pennsylvania is NOT a state, it's a Commonwealth.
According to the constitution of 1780 Massachusetts is officially named "The Commonwealth of Massachusetts" before this time it was referred to as the Province of Massachusetts Bay and as one of the 13 orginal colonies, it never needed to establish itself as a separate entity with the Continental Congress.
4. Massachusetts is NOT a state, it's a Commonwealth.
The only other thing that bears mention to this is that little square sort of cut out in the top right hand corner of the map. District of Columbia is neither a state nor part of a state. Interestingly because of this, the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution doesn't apply. Total jurisdiction over the District is in the hands of the Congress in "all cases whatsoever" which means that residents actually have no say in Congress at all despite being ruled by it.
The United 46 States, 4 Commonwealths and 1 Not Really Anything of America just doesn't really have the same ring as the USA, does it?
Whilst people may say that there are 50, then this would be patently wrong because the correct answer is 46.
Huh? I hear you ask. That doesn't make any sense. Well the long and the short of it is that it makes even less sense when I explain this but first a history lesson.
4th July 1776 - the only date in American history that everyone without fail happens to know. It's the date upon which the Declaration of Independance was presented to the British. If you look at "Old Glory" you'll find 13 stripes for the original 13 colonies. These are thus.
Province of New Hampshire
Province of Massachusetts Bay
Colony of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations
Connecticut Colony
Province of New York
Province of New Jersey
Province of Pennsylvania
Delaware Colony
Province of Maryland
Colony and Dominion of Virginia
Province of North Carolina
Province of South Carolina
Province of Georgia
Sounds proper and normal so far but upon further examination we find a few rouges.
In 1785 the residents of Kentucky County petitioned Virginia for their own legislature. The petitioned the state legislature for the County to be recognized as "free and independent, to be known by the name of the Commonwealth of Kentucky." On June 4, 1792 Kentucky County became officially the "Commonwealth of Kentucky."
1. Kentucky is NOT a state, it's a Commonwealth.
Virginia itself was never a state. It had formally declared its own independance from Great Britain on Jun 29, 1776. Virginia's constition formally states (and I checked this through their website) that "Commissions and Grants shall run, In the Name of the Commonwealth of Virginia, and bear taste by the Governor with the Seal of the Commonwealth annexed."
2. Virginia is NOT a state, it's a Commonwealth.
The Official Seal of Pennsylvania does not use the term, but legal processes are in the name of the Commonwealth and it is a traditional official designation used in referring to the state.
3. Pennsylvania is NOT a state, it's a Commonwealth.
According to the constitution of 1780 Massachusetts is officially named "The Commonwealth of Massachusetts" before this time it was referred to as the Province of Massachusetts Bay and as one of the 13 orginal colonies, it never needed to establish itself as a separate entity with the Continental Congress.
4. Massachusetts is NOT a state, it's a Commonwealth.
The only other thing that bears mention to this is that little square sort of cut out in the top right hand corner of the map. District of Columbia is neither a state nor part of a state. Interestingly because of this, the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution doesn't apply. Total jurisdiction over the District is in the hands of the Congress in "all cases whatsoever" which means that residents actually have no say in Congress at all despite being ruled by it.
The United 46 States, 4 Commonwealths and 1 Not Really Anything of America just doesn't really have the same ring as the USA, does it?
January 22, 2007
Horse 708 - << IMPORTANT X LOTS >>
QF 108 - 26 May Sat, Sydney, 7:25am
Terminal 1, Charles Kingsford Smith Airport
Woohooooo!
This is Birthdays, Christmases, Cup Finals all rolled into one. Shout it from the rooftops and mark it in the diary, now! Now! NOW!!
Terminal 1, Charles Kingsford Smith Airport
Woohooooo!
Gina is coming to Sydney!
This is Birthdays, Christmases, Cup Finals all rolled into one. Shout it from the rooftops and mark it in the diary, now! Now! NOW!!
January 19, 2007
Horse 707 - Never A Frown With...
UK Chancellor of the Exchequer (which I think is a far nicer title than our Treasurer) Gordon Brown, is currently in India on an official tour in what is expected to be something of of a test, because it is likely that after the next General Election it his he who will be Prime Minister of Her Majesty's United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
Political Observers on Fleet St say the chancellor's three-day visit is an attempt to move beyond fiscal policy and strengthen his international credentials but this trip it must be said has been something of a political nightmare what with the racism scandal currently rocking the UK as a result of Celebrity Big Brother on Channel 4.
Speaking in the city of Bangalore on his first official trip to the country, Britain's prime minister in waiting talked of a "new world order" (which I find somewhat worrying).
I must admit that whilst listening to the radio last night, I went from Radio 4's news to Radio 1 with Jo Whiley and she was playing the song Golden Brown by The Stranglers. Perhaps my mind by that stage was being warped by lack of sleep, but I couldn't help but think that their song fitted perfectly in the current climate, albeit with a few minor alterations as below.
Gordon Brown texture like sun,
With the Right off Tony Blair runs,
Try as he might,
Can't stand and fight
Always a frown on Gordon Brown
'97 is in the past,
Blair's still here,
But he'll never last,
Dubyah's demands,
Tie Tony's hands,
Fat man with frown is Gordon Brown
Gordon Brown settled for less,
Through the years his plan's going west,
Campbell must pay,
Screws the UK ,
Naught but a frown from Gordon Brown
Woohoo
Political Observers on Fleet St say the chancellor's three-day visit is an attempt to move beyond fiscal policy and strengthen his international credentials but this trip it must be said has been something of a political nightmare what with the racism scandal currently rocking the UK as a result of Celebrity Big Brother on Channel 4.
Speaking in the city of Bangalore on his first official trip to the country, Britain's prime minister in waiting talked of a "new world order" (which I find somewhat worrying).
I must admit that whilst listening to the radio last night, I went from Radio 4's news to Radio 1 with Jo Whiley and she was playing the song Golden Brown by The Stranglers. Perhaps my mind by that stage was being warped by lack of sleep, but I couldn't help but think that their song fitted perfectly in the current climate, albeit with a few minor alterations as below.
Gordon Brown texture like sun,
With the Right off Tony Blair runs,
Try as he might,
Can't stand and fight
Always a frown on Gordon Brown
'97 is in the past,
Blair's still here,
But he'll never last,
Dubyah's demands,
Tie Tony's hands,
Fat man with frown is Gordon Brown
Gordon Brown settled for less,
Through the years his plan's going west,
Campbell must pay,
Screws the UK ,
Naught but a frown from Gordon Brown
Woohoo
January 18, 2007
Horse 706 - Just A Minute
Currently at 10 to midnight and thanks to the miracle of the internet I'm listening to that perennial panel game Just A Minute on BBC Radio 4. The rules of this game (which was invented atop a number 13 bus) are dead simple. One has to speak on a subject without hesitation, repetition of any words or deviation from the subject.
This in principle sounds like a simple thing to do but if you consider even within the confines of this very sentence the amount of times that someone actually repeats a word, you'll find that it's actually quite a hard thing to do.
A point is given to anyone who is able to make a correct challenge on any of the rules or alternatively, if an incorrect challenge is made the point is given to the person who was interrupted. Bonus points are awarded for keeping the subject at the end and for any witty remarks for which the chairman happens to find amusing.
Due to the nature of the scoring system, the points are often quite idiosyncratic and it is possible to speak for an entire 59 seconds without a mistake and still not get even so much as a single point for your effort. Contestants like Clement Freud and Paul Merton are particularly good at making interjections for the sole purpose of winning bonus points.
I think one thing that the show does is still show the power of radio as a medium. You can very easily do something else like the ironing while the program is on. Radio game shows are something I think have been sadly lost on the Australian public, and I for one thank the BBC for continuing to produce them.
If I was given my wish, I should like to run a version of this on Vega with me as chairman. Wouldn't that be brilliant?
This in principle sounds like a simple thing to do but if you consider even within the confines of this very sentence the amount of times that someone actually repeats a word, you'll find that it's actually quite a hard thing to do.
A point is given to anyone who is able to make a correct challenge on any of the rules or alternatively, if an incorrect challenge is made the point is given to the person who was interrupted. Bonus points are awarded for keeping the subject at the end and for any witty remarks for which the chairman happens to find amusing.
Due to the nature of the scoring system, the points are often quite idiosyncratic and it is possible to speak for an entire 59 seconds without a mistake and still not get even so much as a single point for your effort. Contestants like Clement Freud and Paul Merton are particularly good at making interjections for the sole purpose of winning bonus points.
I think one thing that the show does is still show the power of radio as a medium. You can very easily do something else like the ironing while the program is on. Radio game shows are something I think have been sadly lost on the Australian public, and I for one thank the BBC for continuing to produce them.
If I was given my wish, I should like to run a version of this on Vega with me as chairman. Wouldn't that be brilliant?
January 17, 2007
Horse 705 - We've Already Got The Answer!
I found it interesting that the motor companies in America are really good at producing slightly different versions of the rest of the world's cars. I've written previously about the Chevrolet Malibu which is the Vectra; the Chev Cobalt is the Astra and Ford USA builds the Focus.
The venerable Crown Victoria in America has been around since 1979 and packs a 4.6L V8 under the hood; its main use is Police and Taxi work. The somewhat aging motor throws out 239bhp or 182kW. Enter my suggestion for a new motor car, or rather an old one... The Ford Falcon. Its 4.0L inline 6 chucks out 249bhp or 190kW in base trim, uses less fuel, puts out less emissions, is faster, accelerates harder and surprisingly has a smaller turning circle.
The scary thing about this is that the Falcon was originally an American car. So what went wrong?
Well nothing really. The Falcon in American eyes was rejected because it was seen as too small, but in Australia where European sensibilities saw the rise of the hatchback, the Falcon went from being Ford's staple car to their big car. As petrol prices have soared over the past few years, suddenly the car which was too small now looks just about right; with the bonus that we've been developing it since 1963.
So when the Falcon adopts the Orion platform c.2008, it could very well be the replacement to the Crown Vic. How funny would it be to see a 25,000 strong fleet of yellow Falcons in New York City? To Australian eyes, it would be just like Melbourne.
The venerable Crown Victoria in America has been around since 1979 and packs a 4.6L V8 under the hood; its main use is Police and Taxi work. The somewhat aging motor throws out 239bhp or 182kW. Enter my suggestion for a new motor car, or rather an old one... The Ford Falcon. Its 4.0L inline 6 chucks out 249bhp or 190kW in base trim, uses less fuel, puts out less emissions, is faster, accelerates harder and surprisingly has a smaller turning circle.
The scary thing about this is that the Falcon was originally an American car. So what went wrong?
Well nothing really. The Falcon in American eyes was rejected because it was seen as too small, but in Australia where European sensibilities saw the rise of the hatchback, the Falcon went from being Ford's staple car to their big car. As petrol prices have soared over the past few years, suddenly the car which was too small now looks just about right; with the bonus that we've been developing it since 1963.
So when the Falcon adopts the Orion platform c.2008, it could very well be the replacement to the Crown Vic. How funny would it be to see a 25,000 strong fleet of yellow Falcons in New York City? To Australian eyes, it would be just like Melbourne.
January 16, 2007
Horse 704 - Give It A Name!
I cast my mind back to Year 9 History class for this. We had a scary teacher called Mr Menkes who walked around the classroom with a big metal sword that someone in a metalwork class made. The word association game was some sort of ice breaker I guess and I was sitting next to a very heavily built lad (who eventually played as the Lock in the Rugby team) who had a face that looked like a dropped pie, and a brain with about as much sense as tieing a Magen David and a pork chop to the back of a motorbike and riding through Tehran.
The following responses stand out like spires in the smog:
The Word is EAT
Joe's
What do you mean Joe's?
Eat at Joe's?
I can see that this is going to be a difficult year Rollason.
And you Park?
Sleep
I've got you pegged as well.
The Word is CAMEL
Lotus
Lotus? How do you put Camel with Lotus, oh very funny.
(Camel cigarettes were the main sponsor of the Lotus F1 team at the time)
Park? Why do I even bother?
Ice Cream
The word was Camel, Park; not Eat.
Yeah, but if I was on a camel, I'd be hot.
The Word is AMERICA
Apart from 2 girls who both said Disneyland in this row, the other 14 so far have all said Baseball. I shudder to think at what you two come up with. Go on, if we must.
Vespucci
What?!
Vespucci. America was named after Amerigo Vespucci. They changed it to a female name because all of the continents have female names.
-
Sir?
I don't know what to say actually. That's really quite intelligent.
Park?
The only thing I could think of was going through the desert on a horse with no name.
Oh dear.
You'd think that if you were in the desert with nothing else to do you'd at least give the horse a name!
Is there a point to this story? Probably not. So why tell it? Because this whole post was based on a word association of it's own. When I sat poised at the keyboard wondering what to do about this issue of Horse, that little episode of half of my lifetime ago came back.
Can you just imagine Race 6 at Flemington on the first Tuesday in November?
As they approach the 3000m mark it's Darren Beadman by 12 lengths on... sorry, but we don't have a name listed for this horse.
The following responses stand out like spires in the smog:
The Word is EAT
Joe's
What do you mean Joe's?
Eat at Joe's?
I can see that this is going to be a difficult year Rollason.
And you Park?
Sleep
I've got you pegged as well.
The Word is CAMEL
Lotus
Lotus? How do you put Camel with Lotus, oh very funny.
(Camel cigarettes were the main sponsor of the Lotus F1 team at the time)
Park? Why do I even bother?
Ice Cream
The word was Camel, Park; not Eat.
Yeah, but if I was on a camel, I'd be hot.
The Word is AMERICA
Apart from 2 girls who both said Disneyland in this row, the other 14 so far have all said Baseball. I shudder to think at what you two come up with. Go on, if we must.
Vespucci
What?!
Vespucci. America was named after Amerigo Vespucci. They changed it to a female name because all of the continents have female names.
-
Sir?
I don't know what to say actually. That's really quite intelligent.
Park?
The only thing I could think of was going through the desert on a horse with no name.
Oh dear.
You'd think that if you were in the desert with nothing else to do you'd at least give the horse a name!
Is there a point to this story? Probably not. So why tell it? Because this whole post was based on a word association of it's own. When I sat poised at the keyboard wondering what to do about this issue of Horse, that little episode of half of my lifetime ago came back.
Can you just imagine Race 6 at Flemington on the first Tuesday in November?
As they approach the 3000m mark it's Darren Beadman by 12 lengths on... sorry, but we don't have a name listed for this horse.
January 15, 2007
AAAAA 703 - AAAA AA AAAA AAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAA!
January 14, 2007
Horse 702 - Left-Handed People Look Gumby
After we'd been smacked about the park in some urbane display of contempt in the name of the "sport of gentlemen" we were sent into the breech to attain a target nearly double of what we'd previously achieved for season 2006/7. Upon Mark Bailey's return to the pavillion after a paltry 1 run, he remarked that left-handed bowlers were difficult to bat against because they "looked gumby"
The state of left-handedness has long been frowned upon with either concern and/or ridicule. In ancient Sparta, babies that were found to be left-handed were left on a hillside to the south of the city to fend for themselves. There are tales of the latter city-state where a left-handed boy dared to encroach upon the throne of one of the kings by opening the door to his chamber, wherein the king found out and ordered that this young lad be loaded into a catapult and hurled out of the city.
In Ancient Rome, left handed people were generally the suject of ridicule and under the reign of Caligula, a directive forced the murder of a considerable number of left-handed children. The Latin words for right and left are Dextre and Sinstre from which we get Dexterious and Sinister - does this mean that left-handed people are evil?
We decided yesterday that left-handed people were made out of wood, and therefore witches, and therefore we should burn them!... and that they still looked gumby.
The state of left-handedness has long been frowned upon with either concern and/or ridicule. In ancient Sparta, babies that were found to be left-handed were left on a hillside to the south of the city to fend for themselves. There are tales of the latter city-state where a left-handed boy dared to encroach upon the throne of one of the kings by opening the door to his chamber, wherein the king found out and ordered that this young lad be loaded into a catapult and hurled out of the city.
In Ancient Rome, left handed people were generally the suject of ridicule and under the reign of Caligula, a directive forced the murder of a considerable number of left-handed children. The Latin words for right and left are Dextre and Sinstre from which we get Dexterious and Sinister - does this mean that left-handed people are evil?
We decided yesterday that left-handed people were made out of wood, and therefore witches, and therefore we should burn them!... and that they still looked gumby.
January 13, 2007
Horse 701 - Skegness Is SO Bracing
Skegness will become the new Antibes at the heart of a North Sea Riviera as unbearably hot summers drive tourists away from Mediterranean resorts, the European Commission forecast yesterday while announcing new targets to combat greenhouse gases.
The EU in setting new targets for greenhouse emmissions came to the conclusion that as the planet heats up, then former resorts in the Mediterranean will be too warm to attract tourists, and so places on Britain's East Coast and other places on the North Sea are potentially new holiday spots.
Or are they?
I found this on a Lincolnshire Council's website as an official reply.
"If the Lincolnshire coast is to become the new Riviera, this would be wonderful for the local economy. Skegness has a fantastic theatre, which attracts some of the top names, as well as Fantasy Island, which claims the biggest rollercoaster in Europe. We have the highest concentration of caravans in Europe and some of the best beach donkeys in the country."
Best beach donkeys in Europe? Are they mad? Well quite possibly yes, but is this this the way to sell holidays in Britain to the rest of the world? Ibiza may have rave parties and illicit drugs but come to Mablethorpe because we have Johnnycakes and Rock Candy.
Does this mean that somewhere in about 2055 people will flock back to that jewel of the North-West, Blackpool again? We might see a return to its glorious heyday, until then as before people will realise that it's all a bit naff.
Skegness is SO Boring... but at least we're not Mablethorpe
January 11, 2007
Horse 700 - But It Was Always The Same... Ikky Poo!
I spent a bit of time thinking about this post because I realised that the first words of this would have to be quite profound, so here goes...
Welcome to Horse 700
Here's another profundity... I hate pretzels. Not the pretzels in the packet that are prone to making George Costanza thirsty but the ones that come from major shopping centres and the little booths therein.
Thanks to "I've Turned Up A Day Early From Holidays Because It Wasn't Written In The Diary Day" Day, I suddenly found that at 9:01am I had a whole extra day of holidays. So I took the opportunity to visit the Macquarie Centre in the hope of finding a new pair of Air Force Ones owing to the fact that the last pair I had got ruined by fatal death.
The Macquarie Centre is a dead confusing place. Rather than have actual floors, it spirals around a central set of shops such that if you walk around 4 corners, you're precisely one level above or below where you were. I found that as I was up the Myer/Borders end of the centre, that there was a distinctly foul, horrid & unsalubrious eminating from that end.
The business which calls itself Pretzel World I'm quite sure engages in adequate OH&S practices and all Dept of Health regulations but it still doesn't change the fact that their unappetizing smell, is very akin to spew. I'm not keen on eating something from which hordes of vomitaciousness undead olfactory zombies attack every portion of my nasal passages.
This is not all that uncommon. Across the road from UTS is the Carlton & United Brewery, which every afternoon would consistently throw millions of stinkoid particles into the air. I remember being in a History of Economic Thought class when an invisible zone of pustulent paranormal poo-smelling particles paraded through our priory of learning and the class was abandoned for 20 minutes.
Pretzel World, I can't handle this,
Your smells are too stinkalicious for me babe... YUK!!!
Welcome to Horse 700
Here's another profundity... I hate pretzels. Not the pretzels in the packet that are prone to making George Costanza thirsty but the ones that come from major shopping centres and the little booths therein.
Thanks to "I've Turned Up A Day Early From Holidays Because It Wasn't Written In The Diary Day" Day, I suddenly found that at 9:01am I had a whole extra day of holidays. So I took the opportunity to visit the Macquarie Centre in the hope of finding a new pair of Air Force Ones owing to the fact that the last pair I had got ruined by fatal death.
The Macquarie Centre is a dead confusing place. Rather than have actual floors, it spirals around a central set of shops such that if you walk around 4 corners, you're precisely one level above or below where you were. I found that as I was up the Myer/Borders end of the centre, that there was a distinctly foul, horrid & unsalubrious eminating from that end.
The business which calls itself Pretzel World I'm quite sure engages in adequate OH&S practices and all Dept of Health regulations but it still doesn't change the fact that their unappetizing smell, is very akin to spew. I'm not keen on eating something from which hordes of vomitaciousness undead olfactory zombies attack every portion of my nasal passages.
This is not all that uncommon. Across the road from UTS is the Carlton & United Brewery, which every afternoon would consistently throw millions of stinkoid particles into the air. I remember being in a History of Economic Thought class when an invisible zone of pustulent paranormal poo-smelling particles paraded through our priory of learning and the class was abandoned for 20 minutes.
Pretzel World, I can't handle this,
Your smells are too stinkalicious for me babe... YUK!!!
January 09, 2007
Horse 699 - Propagating a Meme Because I Can't Think of Actual Material Today
1. Initials: ATR
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you: I don't know of anyone personally but I know of Eddie Irvine, Martin Luther and Screaming Lord Sutch
3. Last thing you ate? Toast
4. For or against same sex marriage: Against
5. I say Shotgun! You say? Potato. Let's call the whole thing off
6. Last person you hugged? Mishka
7. Do you believe in God? Yes and so? Even the demons do that
8. How many Australian states have you been to? Which ones? All of them
9. How many of the Australian states have you lived in? Which ones? 3. NSW, Vic & NT
10. Ever lived outside of Australia? Where? The UK
11. Name something you like physically about yourself: I can stay awake for a long time
12. Something non-physical you like about yourself: My mind goes on strange journeys
13. Who is your best friend? Katja? Probably
14. Why are you still up? Good question, NEXT!
15. What/who made you angry today? A BMW 130i reg GRN-80W
16. Favorite type of Food? Fresh
17. Favorite holiday: One with a destination but no plan
18. Do you download music? I prefer the record store
19. What illegal things have you done? Why
20. Where would you want to go on a first date: I like parks and riverbanks
21. Would you date the person that posted this? James? No - sorry Jimmy
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? Nah
23. Do you love anyone? Yes, yes and yes. In many senses
24. Do you like Howard? Not him nor his government
25. Have you ever bungee jumped? Yes
26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting? No
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? Only in a motor accident
28. How much money ya got? Enough for at least a kebab
29. Have you met a real redneck? I'm friends with a few
30. How is the weather right now? Night time
31. What are you listening to right now? Steve Wright on BBC Radio 2
32. What is your current favourite song? In terms of no. of plays it's "Take Me To Another Town" by Emma Bunton for 2007
33. What was the last movie you watched? Night At the Museum
34. Do you wear contacts? No
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? Bunnings
36. What are you afraid of? Places I can drown
37. How many piercings and tattoos do you have? Nil
38. How many pets do you have? One black cat
39. Have you ever loved someone? Yes
40. What turns you on? Intriguing people
41. What do you usually order from Starbucks? A long black
42. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes
44. Fav. TV show? At the moment it's Black Books on the ABC
45. Do you have an ipod? Yes, 40 gig 4G
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? No
47. When are you 47? 2025
48. Who would you like to see right now? Christ would be pretty cool I think
49. Favorite movie of all time? The Italian Job
50. Do you find yourself loved? YES!
51. Have you ever regretted something you didn't do? Haven't we all?
52. Favorite flower? The Scottish Thistle
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? Plain
54. What Magazines are you reading? Auto Action
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo? I own one
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? A few people
58. What’s something that really bugs you? Poor spelling and punctuation
59. What are some things you really like doing: Driving, playing or watching other people play
60. Do you like Michael Jackson? Not particularly
61. Whats your favorite smell? Castrol TTS
62. Favorite basketball team? The Weaponettes
63. Favorite cereal? Kellogg's Corn Flakes
64. Do you drive? Yes.
65. What's the latest you have ever stayed out? All night
66. What’s the longest time you’ve gone without sleep? 47 hours between London and Sydney
67. Last time you went bowling? About a month ago
68. Where is the weirdest place you have slept? At Geelong Bus Station
69. Who was your last phone call? Someone from Cable Solutions
70. Last time you were at work: 23rd Dec 2006
71. Whats your favorite city to be in? Liverpool, UK - Sorry as far as cities go, it feels the most like home
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you: I don't know of anyone personally but I know of Eddie Irvine, Martin Luther and Screaming Lord Sutch
3. Last thing you ate? Toast
4. For or against same sex marriage: Against
5. I say Shotgun! You say? Potato. Let's call the whole thing off
6. Last person you hugged? Mishka
7. Do you believe in God? Yes and so? Even the demons do that
8. How many Australian states have you been to? Which ones? All of them
9. How many of the Australian states have you lived in? Which ones? 3. NSW, Vic & NT
10. Ever lived outside of Australia? Where? The UK
11. Name something you like physically about yourself: I can stay awake for a long time
12. Something non-physical you like about yourself: My mind goes on strange journeys
13. Who is your best friend? Katja? Probably
14. Why are you still up? Good question, NEXT!
15. What/who made you angry today? A BMW 130i reg GRN-80W
16. Favorite type of Food? Fresh
17. Favorite holiday: One with a destination but no plan
18. Do you download music? I prefer the record store
19. What illegal things have you done? Why
20. Where would you want to go on a first date: I like parks and riverbanks
21. Would you date the person that posted this? James? No - sorry Jimmy
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? Nah
23. Do you love anyone? Yes, yes and yes. In many senses
24. Do you like Howard? Not him nor his government
25. Have you ever bungee jumped? Yes
26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting? No
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? Only in a motor accident
28. How much money ya got? Enough for at least a kebab
29. Have you met a real redneck? I'm friends with a few
30. How is the weather right now? Night time
31. What are you listening to right now? Steve Wright on BBC Radio 2
32. What is your current favourite song? In terms of no. of plays it's "Take Me To Another Town" by Emma Bunton for 2007
33. What was the last movie you watched? Night At the Museum
34. Do you wear contacts? No
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? Bunnings
36. What are you afraid of? Places I can drown
37. How many piercings and tattoos do you have? Nil
38. How many pets do you have? One black cat
39. Have you ever loved someone? Yes
40. What turns you on? Intriguing people
41. What do you usually order from Starbucks? A long black
42. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes
44. Fav. TV show? At the moment it's Black Books on the ABC
45. Do you have an ipod? Yes, 40 gig 4G
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? No
47. When are you 47? 2025
48. Who would you like to see right now? Christ would be pretty cool I think
49. Favorite movie of all time? The Italian Job
50. Do you find yourself loved? YES!
51. Have you ever regretted something you didn't do? Haven't we all?
52. Favorite flower? The Scottish Thistle
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? Plain
54. What Magazines are you reading? Auto Action
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo? I own one
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? A few people
58. What’s something that really bugs you? Poor spelling and punctuation
59. What are some things you really like doing: Driving, playing or watching other people play
60. Do you like Michael Jackson? Not particularly
61. Whats your favorite smell? Castrol TTS
62. Favorite basketball team? The Weaponettes
63. Favorite cereal? Kellogg's Corn Flakes
64. Do you drive? Yes.
65. What's the latest you have ever stayed out? All night
66. What’s the longest time you’ve gone without sleep? 47 hours between London and Sydney
67. Last time you went bowling? About a month ago
68. Where is the weirdest place you have slept? At Geelong Bus Station
69. Who was your last phone call? Someone from Cable Solutions
70. Last time you were at work: 23rd Dec 2006
71. Whats your favorite city to be in? Liverpool, UK - Sorry as far as cities go, it feels the most like home
January 08, 2007
Horse 698 - Jimmy's English Lesson
Punctuation 101: The Apostrophe
The humble apostrophe is one of the most misused and misunderstood grammatical markers of the 21st Century. As far as the English lanuguage is concerned, there are but three basic uses for it: as a possesive, as a contractive and as marker in non English surnames for characters that either don't exist of other devices.
1. As a Possessive:
This should be fairly straight forward, though there are exceptions. A possessive is when something owns something else. The rule in this case for the singular is to simply add 's at the the end as in "The cat's food". If for instance the food was owned by multiple cats, then it would be rendered at the end of the plural "The cats' food" - same food, but owned by more than one cat.
The mild exception to this is when the thing which does the owning ends in S. If Rees happens to own the cat then Rees' Cat or Rees's Cat are both acceptable.
There are a few cases for this in real life. St James' Park where Newcastle United play or Lord's Cricket Ground in London are both possessive cases but increasingly proper names like Woolworths and David Jones omit the possessive apostrophe for reasons of nicety.
The exception to this is when the possessive is already an indefinate article such as yours, hers and theirs.
2. As a contraction:
These are again obvious. This is when two words are mashed together in common usage. Most commonly is the n't variant which means "not" as in didn't, shouldn't and couldn't. Other variants include I'll and it's.
"It's" is an interesting case. Its is an indefinate article as a possessive and so does not need an apostrophe but it's is a contraction for it is. "It's its head" is one of those rather quaint clauses where seemingly a word is repeated but on reflection is merely the operation of a contraction.
The other commonly seen use is in a term like the '70s where the 19 has been dropped.
3. Foreigness:
Names like O'Reilly, M'Gregor, du'Pree and D'Angelis are all cases where a contraction is made from a foreign language. Ahah you say, but O'Reilly and M'Gregor are already English words! Ahah I say, they're Irish Gaelic and Scottish Gaelic respectively.
So then Jimmy, in review, the line in that song:
From the heavens mercy streams
As it stands it says that there are multiple heavens or that they are vast in number. Sort of, kind of maybe? Well this is one of those archaic uses of English that still exists where the singular and the plural are either interchangeable or are the same word. A similar case exists for sheep and deer.
To add the apostrophe is thus:
From the heaven's mercy streams
Does this imply that something comes from heaven's streams? Although plausible it's not likely.
There are two other cases that warrant investigation.
1. Fortnight
Strictly speaking, this is a contraction and in Shakespeare's day was written as fort'night. Like the now unused se'nnight which meant seven night, a fort'night then as now means a fourteen night period.
1. Hear'Say
Hear'Say were the winners of the British series of Popstars in 2001. The reason why this apostrophe hangs in the air waiting to be explained in the group's name was for a while open to conjecture. Some commentators said it was a deliberate attempt to appeal to a youthful audience by imitating an informal, uneducated style, while others suggested it was simply a case of bad grammar on the part of its creator.
I happen to agree with the author Lynn Truss who argues that "the naming of Hear’Say in 2001 was a significant milestone on the road to punctuation anarchy."
So please learn how to use this piece of gramar. Don't look like a pratt!
'
The humble apostrophe is one of the most misused and misunderstood grammatical markers of the 21st Century. As far as the English lanuguage is concerned, there are but three basic uses for it: as a possesive, as a contractive and as marker in non English surnames for characters that either don't exist of other devices.
1. As a Possessive:
This should be fairly straight forward, though there are exceptions. A possessive is when something owns something else. The rule in this case for the singular is to simply add 's at the the end as in "The cat's food". If for instance the food was owned by multiple cats, then it would be rendered at the end of the plural "The cats' food" - same food, but owned by more than one cat.
The mild exception to this is when the thing which does the owning ends in S. If Rees happens to own the cat then Rees' Cat or Rees's Cat are both acceptable.
There are a few cases for this in real life. St James' Park where Newcastle United play or Lord's Cricket Ground in London are both possessive cases but increasingly proper names like Woolworths and David Jones omit the possessive apostrophe for reasons of nicety.
The exception to this is when the possessive is already an indefinate article such as yours, hers and theirs.
2. As a contraction:
These are again obvious. This is when two words are mashed together in common usage. Most commonly is the n't variant which means "not" as in didn't, shouldn't and couldn't. Other variants include I'll and it's.
"It's" is an interesting case. Its is an indefinate article as a possessive and so does not need an apostrophe but it's is a contraction for it is. "It's its head" is one of those rather quaint clauses where seemingly a word is repeated but on reflection is merely the operation of a contraction.
The other commonly seen use is in a term like the '70s where the 19 has been dropped.
3. Foreigness:
Names like O'Reilly, M'Gregor, du'Pree and D'Angelis are all cases where a contraction is made from a foreign language. Ahah you say, but O'Reilly and M'Gregor are already English words! Ahah I say, they're Irish Gaelic and Scottish Gaelic respectively.
So then Jimmy, in review, the line in that song:
From the heavens mercy streams
As it stands it says that there are multiple heavens or that they are vast in number. Sort of, kind of maybe? Well this is one of those archaic uses of English that still exists where the singular and the plural are either interchangeable or are the same word. A similar case exists for sheep and deer.
To add the apostrophe is thus:
From the heaven's mercy streams
Does this imply that something comes from heaven's streams? Although plausible it's not likely.
There are two other cases that warrant investigation.
1. Fortnight
Strictly speaking, this is a contraction and in Shakespeare's day was written as fort'night. Like the now unused se'nnight which meant seven night, a fort'night then as now means a fourteen night period.
1. Hear'Say
Hear'Say were the winners of the British series of Popstars in 2001. The reason why this apostrophe hangs in the air waiting to be explained in the group's name was for a while open to conjecture. Some commentators said it was a deliberate attempt to appeal to a youthful audience by imitating an informal, uneducated style, while others suggested it was simply a case of bad grammar on the part of its creator.
I happen to agree with the author Lynn Truss who argues that "the naming of Hear’Say in 2001 was a significant milestone on the road to punctuation anarchy."
So please learn how to use this piece of gramar. Don't look like a pratt!
January 05, 2007
Horse 697 - Nil - Five to the England
From one of the most remarkable Ashes series victories when England beat Australia in 2005 for the first time in 18 years to to worst result in nearly 80 when the touring English side managed to lose every match in a five test series, the England selectors have to be wondering what went wrong surely. I can tell you in a few short words... five batsmen.
If you look through the batting cards of England this summer they have been nothing short of abysmal but really it's only the last five that never fired. To wit:
1st Test- Brisbane
15-5 and 77-5
2nd Test - Adelaide
DNB and 35-5
3rd Test - Perth
101-5 and 14-5
4th Test - Melbourne
24-5 and 53-5
5th Test - Sydney
33-5 and 33-5
Now admittedly, the tail isn't usually picked for it's batting ability, but when you're up against the likes of SK Warne and GD McGrath then between them they've taken more test wickets than any other two bowlers in history. Perhaps thankfully by the time of the next Ashes series in England, neither of them will be there and as 2005 proved, a side without those two can be beaten by mediocrity.
Yes a 5-0 whitewash is a very black day on which the side wil fade to grey over (nice use of colours there) but it's something to look forward from. I mean let's be totally brutal here, no-one can ever do a worse job than what we've seen this summer can they?
If you look through the batting cards of England this summer they have been nothing short of abysmal but really it's only the last five that never fired. To wit:
1st Test- Brisbane
15-5 and 77-5
2nd Test - Adelaide
DNB and 35-5
3rd Test - Perth
101-5 and 14-5
4th Test - Melbourne
24-5 and 53-5
5th Test - Sydney
33-5 and 33-5
Now admittedly, the tail isn't usually picked for it's batting ability, but when you're up against the likes of SK Warne and GD McGrath then between them they've taken more test wickets than any other two bowlers in history. Perhaps thankfully by the time of the next Ashes series in England, neither of them will be there and as 2005 proved, a side without those two can be beaten by mediocrity.
Yes a 5-0 whitewash is a very black day on which the side wil fade to grey over (nice use of colours there) but it's something to look forward from. I mean let's be totally brutal here, no-one can ever do a worse job than what we've seen this summer can they?
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