Last FM is being a bit slow, so this is actually 4 days late.
Sometimes there's really subtle puns put into songs. On the first time that you I hear I Want You Bad by The Offspring, you think it's a description of how desperarate Noodles is for this lady, but then you quickly realise that this is a decriptor of how he wants to be.
The theme to Steel Angel Kurumi requires you to think in two languages at the same time. The catch of the last line is Mirakurumi. Which can either be taken as Mira-Kurumi. Which means "Look, it's Kurumi!" or Mirakru-Mi which in English is "Miracle Me"; both are acceptable. It is probable that whoever wrote the theme tune actually meant both at the same time... and that is skillful.
1. Killboy Powerhead - The Offspring
2. Steel Angel Kurumi - Anime Theme
3. Ruby Tuesday - The Rolling Stones
4. Move This Mountain - Sophie Ellis-Bextor
5. George Murphy - Tom Lehrer
May 03, 2006
Horse 542 - Kangaroos, Radio Waves & Aliens
This is an answer to two people's questions. It is by no means definitive and may be inaccurate depending on whether there are or not.
In bible study on Monday night I was asked a question, and my answer I think scared people. The question was "Do you think aliens exist?" To which I answered, "I don't know I guess it's enitrely possible".
Now before you lynch me over roast coals and tell me that the idea of aliens is unbiblical, I ask you, is it?
Firstly the Bible itself is not a science textbook. This is by no means to say that it isn't true because even scientists will conceed that all scientific theory has a shelf life of 200 years. The Bible as a document can be verified and checked despite being thousands of years old, if you did that with science text, you'd be both wrong and barking mad.
Second, the Bible is not a conclusive guide to everything in the world. It's purpose is far different to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy for instance. The Bible is a text that contains everything that God has to say to us. It even says itself that it's useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
It is however not useful for telling you how to operate a forklift, or fill in your income tax return. These things simply did not exist when the Bible was written. Yet how accurate is it when it tells us that:
People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.
How accurate is this? 100% accurate I would suggest. The Bible's job primarily is to teach us how to relate to God and each other. It's as every bit useful now as it was when it was written. Neither God or people change, in fact only the technology we use (to blow ourselves up with amongst other things) ever seems to change.
Which brings me to the subject of Aliens, Kangaroos and Radio Waves. I have seen kangaroos and can tell you that they exist. We know radio waves exist because we can pick them up on the radio but as little as 120 years ago, no-one knew that they existed. Does this mean that they weren't there? Of course not, it means that we couldn't either detect or predict their existance. How about kangaroos? 400 years ago Europeans had never seen one, Asians had never seen one, Africans had never seen one... were there kangaroos 400 years ago?
About aliens themselves - When I look at the night sky I see a miriad of stars that most likely we'll never ever get to because of the vastness of space; we've only just started to discover planets around some of them recently. Is it impossible that if God made the universe at a command that He couldn't put life elsewhere in it also at a command? Don't be silly. The God who made the universe from nought could have very easily put things in it that we can't see, detect or find - aliens included.
Now for a more important question: If there are aliens, how does that affect my standing with God? Do aliens negate the existance of God? Are aliens even relevant with regards any question pertaining to God? Do I even care about aliens?
The answer to all of these is a resounding NO. The question of if there are or aren't aliens in the universe is as important to me as what colour the doorknob to the basement door is. Knowing either way won't make an iota of difference. God is still God, God still made everything with a spoken word and whether He chose to put other life in the universe was enitrely His decision. Actually so was His decision to put life on our own planet.
Do I think Aliens exist? I don't know I guess it's enitrely possible. Do I care? Not much.
In bible study on Monday night I was asked a question, and my answer I think scared people. The question was "Do you think aliens exist?" To which I answered, "I don't know I guess it's enitrely possible".
Now before you lynch me over roast coals and tell me that the idea of aliens is unbiblical, I ask you, is it?
Firstly the Bible itself is not a science textbook. This is by no means to say that it isn't true because even scientists will conceed that all scientific theory has a shelf life of 200 years. The Bible as a document can be verified and checked despite being thousands of years old, if you did that with science text, you'd be both wrong and barking mad.
Second, the Bible is not a conclusive guide to everything in the world. It's purpose is far different to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy for instance. The Bible is a text that contains everything that God has to say to us. It even says itself that it's useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
It is however not useful for telling you how to operate a forklift, or fill in your income tax return. These things simply did not exist when the Bible was written. Yet how accurate is it when it tells us that:
People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.
How accurate is this? 100% accurate I would suggest. The Bible's job primarily is to teach us how to relate to God and each other. It's as every bit useful now as it was when it was written. Neither God or people change, in fact only the technology we use (to blow ourselves up with amongst other things) ever seems to change.
Which brings me to the subject of Aliens, Kangaroos and Radio Waves. I have seen kangaroos and can tell you that they exist. We know radio waves exist because we can pick them up on the radio but as little as 120 years ago, no-one knew that they existed. Does this mean that they weren't there? Of course not, it means that we couldn't either detect or predict their existance. How about kangaroos? 400 years ago Europeans had never seen one, Asians had never seen one, Africans had never seen one... were there kangaroos 400 years ago?
About aliens themselves - When I look at the night sky I see a miriad of stars that most likely we'll never ever get to because of the vastness of space; we've only just started to discover planets around some of them recently. Is it impossible that if God made the universe at a command that He couldn't put life elsewhere in it also at a command? Don't be silly. The God who made the universe from nought could have very easily put things in it that we can't see, detect or find - aliens included.
Now for a more important question: If there are aliens, how does that affect my standing with God? Do aliens negate the existance of God? Are aliens even relevant with regards any question pertaining to God? Do I even care about aliens?
The answer to all of these is a resounding NO. The question of if there are or aren't aliens in the universe is as important to me as what colour the doorknob to the basement door is. Knowing either way won't make an iota of difference. God is still God, God still made everything with a spoken word and whether He chose to put other life in the universe was enitrely His decision. Actually so was His decision to put life on our own planet.
Do I think Aliens exist? I don't know I guess it's enitrely possible. Do I care? Not much.
May 02, 2006
Horse 541 - I Can't Believe It's Not A Military
Article 9 of the Japanese Constitution (1946) states:
1) Aspiring sincerely to an international peace based on justice and order, the Japanese people forever renounce war as a sovereign right of the nation and the threat or use of force as means of settling international disputes.
2) In order to accomplish the aim of the preceding paragraph, land, sea, and air forces, as well as other war potential, will never be maintained. The right of belligerency of the state will not be recognized.
Under the constitution is was decided by the Supreme Court that although the ability of Japan to go to war should be curtailed, their ability to defend themselves should not. Thus Japan technically does not have a military but rather a strange entity called the Japan Self-Defence Force or JSDF.
Pacifists have long argued that there isn't really a difference between an attack or a defence force since the hardware is the same. The idea has been explored in other arenas too, most famously in the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion when the JSDF was deployed against megabeasts that may or may have not been alien.
Enter the USA.
The USA has maintained military bases in Okinawa since WW2. This of course hasn't contravened the constitution since the forces weren't being maintained by Japan.
After 3½ years of negotiations, Japan and the USA will finally reach an agreement to hand back these military bases. The government is expected to pass laws and secure funds to finalize the return of part of the air traffic control rights for the U.S. Air Force's Yokota Air Base in Tokyo to Japan by September 2008.
Foreign Minister Taro Aso and Defense Agency Director General Fukushiro Nukaga, and U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld attended the meeting.
The plan will not set a timetable for the return, but the two sides will work out a detailed plan for the handover by March 2007. Tokyo will shoulder USD6.09bn, or 59% of the total USD10.27bn cost for relocating the marines to Guam. The two sides will decide in October which part of the airspace over the Yokota base will be returned to Japan in 2008. In 2009, the two governments will finish talks on conditions for returning the entire airspace of the base to Japanese control.
To improve "cooperation" between the Self-Defense Forces and U.S. armed forces, the Air Self-Defense Force's Air Defense Command will be relocated to the Yokota base in 2010 and a joint task force for air defense and missile defense will be established.
A joint statement to be released separately from the final plan did not mention a review of the guidelines for defense cooperation, but included a clause calling for Tokyo and Washington to strengthen and improve bilateral security and the effectiveness of cooperation in international peace activities.
One wonders exactly how this is to be resolved under the constitution. The USA would obviously still like to maintain some presence in the area, but how does one sign a treaty with a nation who has no "military" forces? It's certainly vexhing for the lawmakers, since Article 9 was imposed by the USA themselves, and to suddenly ask for the constitution which they imposed to be ignored, smacks of international hypocracy.
Unless giant aliens like Gamera, Mothra, Godzilla or Angiurus invade.
1) Aspiring sincerely to an international peace based on justice and order, the Japanese people forever renounce war as a sovereign right of the nation and the threat or use of force as means of settling international disputes.
2) In order to accomplish the aim of the preceding paragraph, land, sea, and air forces, as well as other war potential, will never be maintained. The right of belligerency of the state will not be recognized.
Under the constitution is was decided by the Supreme Court that although the ability of Japan to go to war should be curtailed, their ability to defend themselves should not. Thus Japan technically does not have a military but rather a strange entity called the Japan Self-Defence Force or JSDF.
Pacifists have long argued that there isn't really a difference between an attack or a defence force since the hardware is the same. The idea has been explored in other arenas too, most famously in the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion when the JSDF was deployed against megabeasts that may or may have not been alien.
Enter the USA.
The USA has maintained military bases in Okinawa since WW2. This of course hasn't contravened the constitution since the forces weren't being maintained by Japan.
After 3½ years of negotiations, Japan and the USA will finally reach an agreement to hand back these military bases. The government is expected to pass laws and secure funds to finalize the return of part of the air traffic control rights for the U.S. Air Force's Yokota Air Base in Tokyo to Japan by September 2008.
Foreign Minister Taro Aso and Defense Agency Director General Fukushiro Nukaga, and U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld attended the meeting.
The plan will not set a timetable for the return, but the two sides will work out a detailed plan for the handover by March 2007. Tokyo will shoulder USD6.09bn, or 59% of the total USD10.27bn cost for relocating the marines to Guam. The two sides will decide in October which part of the airspace over the Yokota base will be returned to Japan in 2008. In 2009, the two governments will finish talks on conditions for returning the entire airspace of the base to Japanese control.
To improve "cooperation" between the Self-Defense Forces and U.S. armed forces, the Air Self-Defense Force's Air Defense Command will be relocated to the Yokota base in 2010 and a joint task force for air defense and missile defense will be established.
A joint statement to be released separately from the final plan did not mention a review of the guidelines for defense cooperation, but included a clause calling for Tokyo and Washington to strengthen and improve bilateral security and the effectiveness of cooperation in international peace activities.
One wonders exactly how this is to be resolved under the constitution. The USA would obviously still like to maintain some presence in the area, but how does one sign a treaty with a nation who has no "military" forces? It's certainly vexhing for the lawmakers, since Article 9 was imposed by the USA themselves, and to suddenly ask for the constitution which they imposed to be ignored, smacks of international hypocracy.
Unless giant aliens like Gamera, Mothra, Godzilla or Angiurus invade.
May 01, 2006
Horse 540 - You Don't Know Warren
Everyone in the world has their own unique viewpoint; this of course is both a corollary and a self-sufficient point. Because of this, how people perceive the world is going to vary from person to person. What I find really disappointing is the way in which some people's points of view (truth is of course another issue and point of absolute fact if negated or viewed from the wrong point is erroneous, then this should be corrected) is berated and indeed passed over and ignored.
There are naturally people whom we will find it difficult to get along with, there are those people who are naturally rather cold, this however does not change the fact that the way they see the world is enitrely their own.
What bugs me is the way which people say, "oh that's just Warren"* Do they ever not stop to think that poor old Warren has just been summed up and passed over to be perpetually ignored? Warren might go through his whole life and be working inordinately hard to get people to care but when glossed over, Warren ceases to exist.
Warren might be a really interesting person if you only took the time to get to know them. Warren might be a concert pianist, or an electrician, or a supermarket employee, or a doctor, who knows? Do you know Warren? I don't think so, because you'd have looked past Warren time and time again. Maybe you do talk to Warren, but then again Warren is probably beneath you.
I have to learn to talk more to Warren, I'm sure that Warren has something to teach me. Warren may for all I know hold the key to life's answers.
*Warren was the substitute word for various headlines on GNW which people had to guess.
There are naturally people whom we will find it difficult to get along with, there are those people who are naturally rather cold, this however does not change the fact that the way they see the world is enitrely their own.
What bugs me is the way which people say, "oh that's just Warren"* Do they ever not stop to think that poor old Warren has just been summed up and passed over to be perpetually ignored? Warren might go through his whole life and be working inordinately hard to get people to care but when glossed over, Warren ceases to exist.
Warren might be a really interesting person if you only took the time to get to know them. Warren might be a concert pianist, or an electrician, or a supermarket employee, or a doctor, who knows? Do you know Warren? I don't think so, because you'd have looked past Warren time and time again. Maybe you do talk to Warren, but then again Warren is probably beneath you.
I have to learn to talk more to Warren, I'm sure that Warren has something to teach me. Warren may for all I know hold the key to life's answers.
*Warren was the substitute word for various headlines on GNW which people had to guess.
April 27, 2006
Horse 539 - Bugs In the Software
In the early days of computers, I'm talking way back when they would take up entire rooms to be able to calculate German mechanical code and when someone at IBM proudly proclaimed that there "may be a market for maybe 12 computers in the world". Because of the size of componentry, certain environmental factors came into play. The term bug all the way back then quite literally meant that some sort of insectoid had crawlen into the machine and had fried itself.
I think to the old server that we had when one fateful day in 2004 if failed without warning. All of the software updates had been made and a check to the backup menus revealed that there hadn't even been a power spike. Open up the box however and a roach had crawled in and was now computing in glorious 16-bit. We magically had the most intelligent roach that ever roamed the earth.
'tinternet around here crashed quell' catastrophe on Monday and has been patchy since then. We phoned up Optus after much yelling and they ran various speed tests and we decided that the cable modem was working properly. They tried to blame our computer saying that we had spyware running. This was not the case and we told them as much.
Optus sent round a man this morning and after checking our cable, they sent around a few more chaps and they held a tea break with a little white tent out the front before looking at the lines themselves and guess what? There was evidence of BITING. Something had decided to eat our internet.
It reminded me of my Kindy teacher who warned us about electricity and the boy who bit into electricity and DIED. Assuming this story was real (grownups don't tell lies do they?) then we should find a dead obglobits somewhere... it remains to date unfound and tasty I wager.
I think to the old server that we had when one fateful day in 2004 if failed without warning. All of the software updates had been made and a check to the backup menus revealed that there hadn't even been a power spike. Open up the box however and a roach had crawled in and was now computing in glorious 16-bit. We magically had the most intelligent roach that ever roamed the earth.
'tinternet around here crashed quell' catastrophe on Monday and has been patchy since then. We phoned up Optus after much yelling and they ran various speed tests and we decided that the cable modem was working properly. They tried to blame our computer saying that we had spyware running. This was not the case and we told them as much.
Optus sent round a man this morning and after checking our cable, they sent around a few more chaps and they held a tea break with a little white tent out the front before looking at the lines themselves and guess what? There was evidence of BITING. Something had decided to eat our internet.
It reminded me of my Kindy teacher who warned us about electricity and the boy who bit into electricity and DIED. Assuming this story was real (grownups don't tell lies do they?) then we should find a dead obglobits somewhere... it remains to date unfound and tasty I wager.
April 26, 2006
Horse 538 - Geburtstag!
I'm donating my parts to science,
To increase the human knowledge.
If we all know more than we did before, we could...
1. Work out time travel
2. Go into space
3. Find out why Whoopi Goldberg has no eyebrows
4. We could do stem cell research
5. Find a cure for cancer
6. Find out what chicken nuggets are made of
7. I could break the world record
8. I could be the King
9. Work out what that thing in the back of your throat is for
10. Invent an electronic water unraveller
11. Annoy Greenpeace
12. Stop paying tolls on the M7
13. Build an actual light sabre
14. Poke a tiger with a stick
15. Vacuum clean the dining room
16. Dance the Charleston of top of a flag pole
17. Eat pumpernickel
18. Set fire to important documents
19. Knit your granny a jumper
20. Dance in the living room without instructions
21. Speak Esperanto
23. Leave out number 22
22. Put 22 and 23 in the wrong order
24. Build an archology and a giant arboreum
25. Wish Katja a Happy 25th Birthday...
...feeling old yet?
To increase the human knowledge.
If we all know more than we did before, we could...
1. Work out time travel
2. Go into space
3. Find out why Whoopi Goldberg has no eyebrows
4. We could do stem cell research
5. Find a cure for cancer
6. Find out what chicken nuggets are made of
7. I could break the world record
8. I could be the King
9. Work out what that thing in the back of your throat is for
10. Invent an electronic water unraveller
11. Annoy Greenpeace
12. Stop paying tolls on the M7
13. Build an actual light sabre
14. Poke a tiger with a stick
15. Vacuum clean the dining room
16. Dance the Charleston of top of a flag pole
17. Eat pumpernickel
18. Set fire to important documents
19. Knit your granny a jumper
20. Dance in the living room without instructions
21. Speak Esperanto
23. Leave out number 22
22. Put 22 and 23 in the wrong order
24. Build an archology and a giant arboreum
25. Wish Katja a Happy 25th Birthday...
...feeling old yet?
April 25, 2006
Horse 537 - ANZAC Day
Since the end of the Vietnam War the total number of Australians killed in combat situations is not as high as what you'd suspect considering that Australia sends troops as peace-keepers to wherever the UN/US demands.
This number is a grand total of 17 Quite unexpected isn't it? Only 17 soldiers killed on active duty since 1975. What's even scarier is that of those 17, 15 of them were accidents including this last chap who was cleaning his rifle when it discharged.
It does make you ask a very interesting question; that is "what is the point in spending all this money in having a standing army if clearly there's not really a need?"
The answer to this is actually entrenched into the culture of the Defence Forces of this country, and bears witness especially today.
I suspect that the reason why the number is so few has very little to do with the danger/lack of danger that the troops have been sent into but rather with the way that soldiers are trained.
During WW2 Australians were still for the most part considered to be British Subjects and as such were trained as such. Even today that discipline of the Australian Defence Forces is literallt second to none.
The people who work for the Defence Forces of this country ARE the best trained in the world. They keep on being asked to do difficult and dangerous jobs because everybody knows that the job will be done properly. If you look at places like East Timor especially, not one troop was killed or injured and why? Because the soldiers sent there retained their unique charm and still did and excellent job at not only restoring peace but rebuilding a country. In the Solomon Islands at the moment, it is Australians who have been sent there and a situation has never been allowed to develop.
So why today may be a chance to remember the fallen and those who graciously gave up their lives in stupid conflicts all over the world that Australians didn't start but were sent to anyway, it's also a chance to reflect on those people in active duty who truly are the very best in the world.
This number is a grand total of 17 Quite unexpected isn't it? Only 17 soldiers killed on active duty since 1975. What's even scarier is that of those 17, 15 of them were accidents including this last chap who was cleaning his rifle when it discharged.
It does make you ask a very interesting question; that is "what is the point in spending all this money in having a standing army if clearly there's not really a need?"
The answer to this is actually entrenched into the culture of the Defence Forces of this country, and bears witness especially today.
I suspect that the reason why the number is so few has very little to do with the danger/lack of danger that the troops have been sent into but rather with the way that soldiers are trained.
During WW2 Australians were still for the most part considered to be British Subjects and as such were trained as such. Even today that discipline of the Australian Defence Forces is literallt second to none.
The people who work for the Defence Forces of this country ARE the best trained in the world. They keep on being asked to do difficult and dangerous jobs because everybody knows that the job will be done properly. If you look at places like East Timor especially, not one troop was killed or injured and why? Because the soldiers sent there retained their unique charm and still did and excellent job at not only restoring peace but rebuilding a country. In the Solomon Islands at the moment, it is Australians who have been sent there and a situation has never been allowed to develop.
So why today may be a chance to remember the fallen and those who graciously gave up their lives in stupid conflicts all over the world that Australians didn't start but were sent to anyway, it's also a chance to reflect on those people in active duty who truly are the very best in the world.
April 24, 2006
Horse 536 - The American Job
Compare the following The Italian Job 1969 and The Italian Job 2003 and you'll soon discover that one scrubs up as an absolute classic and the other... well it just isn't.
Even I had misgivings about it before the film had even screened. Well guess what? I saw it as a first run film in the cinemas and thought it was... alright. Tonight it's appeared on Channel 10 and I still think it's only... alright.
So the New Mini isn't the classic it should have been; and Marky Mark is no Michael Caine which means I'm probably highly predjudiced against it, but it's still no stunner any way including up.
Either way, it's an excuse for me to use a stock photo of jumping Minis - which is very very tres cool.
April 21, 2006
Horse 535 - Bris-Vegas
This post comes from the jewel of Queeeeesnlaaaaaand and literally a gnat's spit from the Vulture St end.
The Brisbane Cricket Ground colloquially called the "Gabba" after the suburb Wollongabba in which it resides is a towering ring that little resembles last time I was here.
The Brisbane Lions AFL club have poured millions into the upkeep of this place and it is now a far cry from the canvas and string affair that was here before. Lang Park across the way is equally impressive and now resembles the San Siro more than the bit of dirt that King Wally called home for so long.
Actually the Gabba is a strange ground. Originally built for cricket, for a period from the 1930's until the current re-development, the ground used to have a sawdust dog track going around the outside. As a wee lad I remember on the radio throws to the Gabba for the results of greyhound racing much to my annoyance because Mr Packer would disturb the gentleman's game of cricket just to display these results.
The Gabba is one of those rare instances that "went to the dogs" and yet prospered, what a relief that it's no longer a caudlron of mutt.
>>
And one last thing before I leave. The Zone 1-2 tickets in the centre of town allow you to hop on and off trains at will without buying a new ticket. To Mr Iemma of the NSW State Government - you could learn from our backwards neighbours oop noorth.
The Brisbane Cricket Ground colloquially called the "Gabba" after the suburb Wollongabba in which it resides is a towering ring that little resembles last time I was here.
The Brisbane Lions AFL club have poured millions into the upkeep of this place and it is now a far cry from the canvas and string affair that was here before. Lang Park across the way is equally impressive and now resembles the San Siro more than the bit of dirt that King Wally called home for so long.
Actually the Gabba is a strange ground. Originally built for cricket, for a period from the 1930's until the current re-development, the ground used to have a sawdust dog track going around the outside. As a wee lad I remember on the radio throws to the Gabba for the results of greyhound racing much to my annoyance because Mr Packer would disturb the gentleman's game of cricket just to display these results.
The Gabba is one of those rare instances that "went to the dogs" and yet prospered, what a relief that it's no longer a caudlron of mutt.
>>
And one last thing before I leave. The Zone 1-2 tickets in the centre of town allow you to hop on and off trains at will without buying a new ticket. To Mr Iemma of the NSW State Government - you could learn from our backwards neighbours oop noorth.
April 20, 2006
Horse 534 - Missundaztood
I am worried about this concept of 'being understood'. It's all anybody wants these days, and it can't be healthy. Whatever happened to mystique?
I don't want to be understood. For example: I'd like a friend to think I was funny. I don't need them speculating that I grew up in a household of competitive proto-humorists, that I fear I'm not clever enough to make serious points, that I suffer from that irritating social neurosis where I feel responsible for filling awkward silences. I'd rather they just laughed.
Besides, a comprehensible personality is surely a bad thing. If you can be summed up in a paragraph, there's something wrong with you. Shakespeare's greatness lies in the incomprehensibility of his characters. Why does Hamlet pretend to be mad? Why is Iago so jealous? Why does Lear issue a 'love test'? In the original source materials, Hamlet is nine years old, Iago wants Desdemona and there is no love test. Shakespeare is deliberately introducing gaps and mysteries to suggest a world beyond the play. Real people are not immediately explicable. If Desdemona 'understood' Hamlet, he would be pointless.
Nevertheless, people these days want a summed-up personality like they want an iPod and Ugh Boots. The holy grail is a snappy account of 'Who I am' in a five-minute audition tape for Big Brother. Poor old David Hume wasted all those years explaining that there is no such thing as personal identity, that the mind is 'nothing but a collection of different perceptions, succeeding one another with inconceivable rapidity in a perpetual flux and movement'. Three centuries later, everybody is setting off to 'find themselves' in therapy or on foreign holidays. It's like looking for a yeti. Turn back, travellers, before it's too late! There's nothing out there but a blizzard.
Have you noticed how often you hear the words 'That's just me'? It's a reality TV catchphrase. 'I like to muck about - that's just me'. It isn't you, it's simply the way you're behaving. Whence this desire for constant self-assertion?
The more we yearn to sum ourselves up, the more information we put out there and, of course, the more fragmented 'we' become. Dig around the human psyche a bit deeper and you won't find 'identity'; at most, you'll find motives. Motives which are better left unspoken if you want a decent life anyway.
The last thing I want is for people to say, 'Ah, I see you are over-compensating for the fact that you were a lonely teenager and didn't get a driver's licence till you were 21.'
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please let me be misunderstood.
- Apologies to The Animals
I don't want to be understood. For example: I'd like a friend to think I was funny. I don't need them speculating that I grew up in a household of competitive proto-humorists, that I fear I'm not clever enough to make serious points, that I suffer from that irritating social neurosis where I feel responsible for filling awkward silences. I'd rather they just laughed.
Besides, a comprehensible personality is surely a bad thing. If you can be summed up in a paragraph, there's something wrong with you. Shakespeare's greatness lies in the incomprehensibility of his characters. Why does Hamlet pretend to be mad? Why is Iago so jealous? Why does Lear issue a 'love test'? In the original source materials, Hamlet is nine years old, Iago wants Desdemona and there is no love test. Shakespeare is deliberately introducing gaps and mysteries to suggest a world beyond the play. Real people are not immediately explicable. If Desdemona 'understood' Hamlet, he would be pointless.
Nevertheless, people these days want a summed-up personality like they want an iPod and Ugh Boots. The holy grail is a snappy account of 'Who I am' in a five-minute audition tape for Big Brother. Poor old David Hume wasted all those years explaining that there is no such thing as personal identity, that the mind is 'nothing but a collection of different perceptions, succeeding one another with inconceivable rapidity in a perpetual flux and movement'. Three centuries later, everybody is setting off to 'find themselves' in therapy or on foreign holidays. It's like looking for a yeti. Turn back, travellers, before it's too late! There's nothing out there but a blizzard.
Have you noticed how often you hear the words 'That's just me'? It's a reality TV catchphrase. 'I like to muck about - that's just me'. It isn't you, it's simply the way you're behaving. Whence this desire for constant self-assertion?
The more we yearn to sum ourselves up, the more information we put out there and, of course, the more fragmented 'we' become. Dig around the human psyche a bit deeper and you won't find 'identity'; at most, you'll find motives. Motives which are better left unspoken if you want a decent life anyway.
The last thing I want is for people to say, 'Ah, I see you are over-compensating for the fact that you were a lonely teenager and didn't get a driver's licence till you were 21.'
But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please let me be misunderstood.
- Apologies to The Animals
April 19, 2006
Horse 533 - Fashion & Ties
Women will often complain about not having a thing to wear. This may be true in a lot of circumstances because as we all are aware either overtly or implicitly, women's fashion is more varied and often more involved, and therefore harder to match; harder to plan. Perhaps quite rightly so, considering that in terms of the actual equipment, men have a far less interesting set of kit. Let's be honest here, blokes are for all intents a couple of drain pipes attached to an oil can whereas the ladies are more inny and outy and therefore more suited to hanging fashion off.
As a member of the less visually interesting sex, I have the double whammy of being in a even more less visually interesting job. The standard office commando uniform is black trousers, a white shirt and if you're not in IT, a tie.
Yes a tie! That once useless bit of cloth which would have been used a mere 300 years ago for wiping one's nose is virtually the only flag of individuality in a sea of cut-lunch commandoes in their black suited boredom. Like the maker's nameplate, it's sometimes the identifier (since no-one except my good self appears to wear hats anymore) that we have to tell the office black-and-whitegoods workers apart.
Now then (hooray for my introductions! Sometimes they're brilliant in themselves. Can I have a Booker Prize please?)...
Since a tie is to displayed against a white backdrop of shirt, do you know which kind of tie works well?...
ANYTHING.
Having said this, the most favourite tie of mine of all is: A Black Tie with White Pinstripes pitched Per Bend down right and 5 to the inch. This Alfani tie is interesting to look at because it plays nasty tricks with the eyes if it moves and because it's black, is still conservative enough to hide behind a red vest.
Not even my three British Airways Cabin Crew Ties for Coach, Business, First & Platinum classes with their double Blue and Red Pinstripes pitched Per Bend down right and every 3 inches, come close to the optical wonder of the Alfani.
I have the official tie of Garbage Version 2.0, and even the famed Egg & Bacon of the MCC* (which I pay my £140 a year for the upkeep of therein - If Hitler had invaded the UK not even he would have got into the Long Room at Lord's, and why? He wasn't a member)
I'd like to be either Harrow'd or Eton'd by means of tie, and sadly the last post of old world pervayors of ties Gowings has ceased to be, so this means that for the moment I can't even buy a replica.
No, the Black Alfani is my most precious tie; it came by means of the sunny coast of California. Dare I say it, Katja knew damn well what she was doing. The simple things in life are often the best... and treasured.
*Thomas Lord's bit of dirt is surely amongst the most hallowed few acres of lawn on the planet. Lord's has nothing to do with viscounts or vicars, though by the sounds of it probably should.
As a member of the less visually interesting sex, I have the double whammy of being in a even more less visually interesting job. The standard office commando uniform is black trousers, a white shirt and if you're not in IT, a tie.
Yes a tie! That once useless bit of cloth which would have been used a mere 300 years ago for wiping one's nose is virtually the only flag of individuality in a sea of cut-lunch commandoes in their black suited boredom. Like the maker's nameplate, it's sometimes the identifier (since no-one except my good self appears to wear hats anymore) that we have to tell the office black-and-whitegoods workers apart.
Now then (hooray for my introductions! Sometimes they're brilliant in themselves. Can I have a Booker Prize please?)...
Since a tie is to displayed against a white backdrop of shirt, do you know which kind of tie works well?...
ANYTHING.
Having said this, the most favourite tie of mine of all is: A Black Tie with White Pinstripes pitched Per Bend down right and 5 to the inch. This Alfani tie is interesting to look at because it plays nasty tricks with the eyes if it moves and because it's black, is still conservative enough to hide behind a red vest.
Not even my three British Airways Cabin Crew Ties for Coach, Business, First & Platinum classes with their double Blue and Red Pinstripes pitched Per Bend down right and every 3 inches, come close to the optical wonder of the Alfani.
I have the official tie of Garbage Version 2.0, and even the famed Egg & Bacon of the MCC* (which I pay my £140 a year for the upkeep of therein - If Hitler had invaded the UK not even he would have got into the Long Room at Lord's, and why? He wasn't a member)
I'd like to be either Harrow'd or Eton'd by means of tie, and sadly the last post of old world pervayors of ties Gowings has ceased to be, so this means that for the moment I can't even buy a replica.
No, the Black Alfani is my most precious tie; it came by means of the sunny coast of California. Dare I say it, Katja knew damn well what she was doing. The simple things in life are often the best... and treasured.
*Thomas Lord's bit of dirt is surely amongst the most hallowed few acres of lawn on the planet. Lord's has nothing to do with viscounts or vicars, though by the sounds of it probably should.
3am Pondering... (need sleep)
Does God hold back things so that we properly appreciate them?
Does He give us things that we think that we can't handle to work harden us?
Why is it that seemingly unconnected events sometimes line up exactly?
How come some of the most interesting stories in people's lives happen purely by chance?
What is chance anyway?
Is there really such a thing as a random event?
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." - Psalm 139:16
Maybe if I knew everything then there wouldn't be any wonder left. Would my brain explode if I knew every detail? Maybe not, but some things may be easier. Someone bigger than I already has everything worked out anyway, so I suppose my worry is pointless.
Does He give us things that we think that we can't handle to work harden us?
Why is it that seemingly unconnected events sometimes line up exactly?
How come some of the most interesting stories in people's lives happen purely by chance?
What is chance anyway?
Is there really such a thing as a random event?
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." - Psalm 139:16
Maybe if I knew everything then there wouldn't be any wonder left. Would my brain explode if I knew every detail? Maybe not, but some things may be easier. Someone bigger than I already has everything worked out anyway, so I suppose my worry is pointless.
April 18, 2006
iFive - Apr 16
For technical reasons, iFive now moves to Mondays.
I was taking my friend's sister home from working at the local fried chicken joint and happened to have the iPod on in the car like normal. She got in half way through "(Probably) All In The Mind" by Oasis and made the comment that the orchestration of this song sounded really beautiful and that it was a pity that this wasn't released as a single (not that we got the last two in Australia anyway but that's a different issue).
This song features strings, a mellotron, and even the sound of a vacuum cleaner a cello along with the standard overblown guitar sound that's an Oasis trademark. I concur, it's a truly beautiful and difficult bit of music to listen to because you'll need about 6 plays to appreciate and even find everything contained within.
If you think about the most covered song in the history of pop music, it was track 13, on the B-side of an album and also never released as a single. When it was released it broke a lot of rules by including a string quartet as well as an acoustic guitar. Literally the establishment was shocked that you could not only get away with this but produce such a well-crafted and accepted pop song. I of course refer to "Yesterday" by the Beatles which incidentally is just over 40 years old now.
1. Girls Aloud - No Good Advice
2. Tom Lehrer - The Old Dope Peddler
3. Tom Lehrer - Silent E
4. Oasis - (Probably) All In The Mind
5. The Animals - House of the Rising Sun
Last FM Stats
I was taking my friend's sister home from working at the local fried chicken joint and happened to have the iPod on in the car like normal. She got in half way through "(Probably) All In The Mind" by Oasis and made the comment that the orchestration of this song sounded really beautiful and that it was a pity that this wasn't released as a single (not that we got the last two in Australia anyway but that's a different issue).
This song features strings, a mellotron, and even the sound of a vacuum cleaner a cello along with the standard overblown guitar sound that's an Oasis trademark. I concur, it's a truly beautiful and difficult bit of music to listen to because you'll need about 6 plays to appreciate and even find everything contained within.
If you think about the most covered song in the history of pop music, it was track 13, on the B-side of an album and also never released as a single. When it was released it broke a lot of rules by including a string quartet as well as an acoustic guitar. Literally the establishment was shocked that you could not only get away with this but produce such a well-crafted and accepted pop song. I of course refer to "Yesterday" by the Beatles which incidentally is just over 40 years old now.
1. Girls Aloud - No Good Advice
2. Tom Lehrer - The Old Dope Peddler
3. Tom Lehrer - Silent E
4. Oasis - (Probably) All In The Mind
5. The Animals - House of the Rising Sun
Last FM Stats
April 17, 2006
Horse 532 - Music @ Last.FM
More to follow on this on Friday; in the meantime:
Last.FM is a website that monitors what people listen to and makes the results available for ready posting. Over a large scale it could be used to determine what's actually being played out there rather than the uptake of new music. If I was ARIA I'd be worried.
Yahoo! Music had offered a similar service about when I was thinking about my own iFive lists but didn't consider it powerful enough at the time. About six months later I've now found this on the Prawn's website where perhaps it could now be employed to some effect.
However, I have however noticed major glitches. It doesn't actually recognise half of my music library nor is it aware of records that have either never appeared in Gracenote or those which for conctractual reasons will not appear.
Suppose an artist is signed to a label which isn't supported by iTunes, MSN Music or another associated online store. Potentially, these will never be reported. The record labels themselves have often been accused of manipulating sales charts to better promote their music and even recently Sony Music was being questioned particularly by Hack on Triple J over music which had been released overseas but was being prevented from being bought by Australian consumers. Freedom of choice which is the big drawcard of the internet and online marketing is most definately not on the list of priorities of record company execs who wish to maintain their iron grip of control over what we buy.
Back to ARIA. ARIA often accuses downloading and piracy as the leading cause of falling music sales. I had a look at the global playcount on Last.FM for the last week and found that of the top 50, only 3 had been released within the last two years. Is this an admission based on actual plays that ARIA's whine is invalid. That's 6% of songs actually being played that could conceivably be construed as new music, much less when you consider that singles themselves only have a run for 9 weeks.
Perhaps if record companies started producing music that we actually like, then the issue would never arise.
Last.FM is a website that monitors what people listen to and makes the results available for ready posting. Over a large scale it could be used to determine what's actually being played out there rather than the uptake of new music. If I was ARIA I'd be worried.
Yahoo! Music had offered a similar service about when I was thinking about my own iFive lists but didn't consider it powerful enough at the time. About six months later I've now found this on the Prawn's website where perhaps it could now be employed to some effect.
However, I have however noticed major glitches. It doesn't actually recognise half of my music library nor is it aware of records that have either never appeared in Gracenote or those which for conctractual reasons will not appear.
Suppose an artist is signed to a label which isn't supported by iTunes, MSN Music or another associated online store. Potentially, these will never be reported. The record labels themselves have often been accused of manipulating sales charts to better promote their music and even recently Sony Music was being questioned particularly by Hack on Triple J over music which had been released overseas but was being prevented from being bought by Australian consumers. Freedom of choice which is the big drawcard of the internet and online marketing is most definately not on the list of priorities of record company execs who wish to maintain their iron grip of control over what we buy.
Back to ARIA. ARIA often accuses downloading and piracy as the leading cause of falling music sales. I had a look at the global playcount on Last.FM for the last week and found that of the top 50, only 3 had been released within the last two years. Is this an admission based on actual plays that ARIA's whine is invalid. That's 6% of songs actually being played that could conceivably be construed as new music, much less when you consider that singles themselves only have a run for 9 weeks.
Perhaps if record companies started producing music that we actually like, then the issue would never arise.
April 16, 2006
Horse 531 - God is Selfish
Selfish, adj -
1. Concerned chiefly or only with oneself
2. Arising from, characterized by, or showing selfishness
What right do I have to make such a statement? You may even think that I've gone stark raving bonkers. But please follow me on this little excursion and by the end, you'll end agree with me.
A selfish heart is one that is primarily concerned with themselves. They will do actions for chiefly their own benefit, and appear to have no regard for anyone else. Let's apply this to God, shall we? Frequently we are told of God's qualities and His motives.
Consider the first two commandments and apply them to God himself. I'm going to pinch these from Deuteronomy 5 because of something said in there that isn't in Exodus.
No1 - You shall have no other gods before me.
Fairly straight forward. Who is God's god? Obviously himself. Think about it, if He weren't his own God then there must be some other higher power, in which case this entity would be more important and therefore God. But there isn't, so He doesn't, so there.
No2 - You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
What has God got to be jealous of? If there aren't any higher powers than himself, then why should he bothered. We're told that he punishes children to even the fourth generation for people who worship something other than him. This is obviously serious.
Jealously is primarily the act of intolerance that someone else has something which you don't. In this case God demands worship, and when this isn't paid to Him, He openly tells us that He wants it to the exculsion of anyone else... selfish? Then the charge is proved guilty.
If you want to prove someone guilty of someone, then the most admissible evidence is a confession. Unless the defendant is lying, then a confession that they actually did something is pretty good proof.
Isaiah 48: 11 - For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this. How can I let myself be defamed? I will not yield my glory to another.
Confession? Guilty as charged?
I have another question. If you create or build something then what is it there for? The answer is to fulfill some purpose. A drill is there to put holes into things, a painting is there to be looked at, a motor car is there to provide transport. What are we here for?
Ecclesiastes 12:11 - Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.
People often ask what the meaning of life is. You can't get any more plain than this. Esentially where here not for own good but for God's.
Ephesians 2.10 - For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Even today, Easter Sunday was not for our benefit. The whole point of Easter was that God wanted to make His creation useful again for the purpose intended, and that is to give glory to Him. He's prepared to sacrifice His own son not only to save us from our sins (which is actually the secondary purpose) but more importantly to give glory to Himself. Selfish? I think so.
When you think about it, the only thing in all of creation... scratch that. There's only one thing not part of creation and that is God Himself. If he isn't the point to anything and everything then this by definition would be a denial of himself and therefore bring Him into idolatry.
God is the most important "thing" that ever existed and one of his biggest points is to give glory to Himself. If you can find a bigger case of selfishness, then I'd like to hear it.
1. Concerned chiefly or only with oneself
2. Arising from, characterized by, or showing selfishness
What right do I have to make such a statement? You may even think that I've gone stark raving bonkers. But please follow me on this little excursion and by the end, you'll end agree with me.
A selfish heart is one that is primarily concerned with themselves. They will do actions for chiefly their own benefit, and appear to have no regard for anyone else. Let's apply this to God, shall we? Frequently we are told of God's qualities and His motives.
Consider the first two commandments and apply them to God himself. I'm going to pinch these from Deuteronomy 5 because of something said in there that isn't in Exodus.
No1 - You shall have no other gods before me.
Fairly straight forward. Who is God's god? Obviously himself. Think about it, if He weren't his own God then there must be some other higher power, in which case this entity would be more important and therefore God. But there isn't, so He doesn't, so there.
No2 - You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
What has God got to be jealous of? If there aren't any higher powers than himself, then why should he bothered. We're told that he punishes children to even the fourth generation for people who worship something other than him. This is obviously serious.
Jealously is primarily the act of intolerance that someone else has something which you don't. In this case God demands worship, and when this isn't paid to Him, He openly tells us that He wants it to the exculsion of anyone else... selfish? Then the charge is proved guilty.
If you want to prove someone guilty of someone, then the most admissible evidence is a confession. Unless the defendant is lying, then a confession that they actually did something is pretty good proof.
Isaiah 48: 11 - For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this. How can I let myself be defamed? I will not yield my glory to another.
Confession? Guilty as charged?
I have another question. If you create or build something then what is it there for? The answer is to fulfill some purpose. A drill is there to put holes into things, a painting is there to be looked at, a motor car is there to provide transport. What are we here for?
Ecclesiastes 12:11 - Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.
People often ask what the meaning of life is. You can't get any more plain than this. Esentially where here not for own good but for God's.
Ephesians 2.10 - For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Even today, Easter Sunday was not for our benefit. The whole point of Easter was that God wanted to make His creation useful again for the purpose intended, and that is to give glory to Him. He's prepared to sacrifice His own son not only to save us from our sins (which is actually the secondary purpose) but more importantly to give glory to Himself. Selfish? I think so.
When you think about it, the only thing in all of creation... scratch that. There's only one thing not part of creation and that is God Himself. If he isn't the point to anything and everything then this by definition would be a denial of himself and therefore bring Him into idolatry.
God is the most important "thing" that ever existed and one of his biggest points is to give glory to Himself. If you can find a bigger case of selfishness, then I'd like to hear it.
April 14, 2006
Horse 530 - Abandoned
Most Christians when considering the events of today will have looked at the phyisical suffering of Jesus and what it would have been like to be whipped, beaten spat upon, nailed through the flesh and then hung on a cross to suffocate for several hours.
We can relate to the phyisical pain quite easily because it's something that none of us would want to go through but even more shocking are the other events in this horrible story.
This day starts because Jesus had been accused of crimes which he has not committed. He answers to calling himself the "King of the Jews" which both the Pharisees and the Romans dislike, and they set about to have this man disposed of.
Luke 23:4 - Then Pilate announced to the chief priests and the crowd, "I find no basis for a charge against this man."
Again,
Luke 23:14 - You brought me this man as one who was inciting the people to rebellion. I have examined him in your presence and have found no basis for your charges against him.
And a third time,
Luke 23:22 - For the third time he spoke to them: "Why? What crime has this man committed? I have found in him no grounds for the death penalty. Therefore I will have him punished and then release him."
The man charged with the responsibility of finding Jesus guilty finds no charges by which he can force punishment, yet still yields to the will of the people. Jesus is the victim of a corrupt and dispicable justice system. Usually we jump up when a judge hands down a penalty that is too lenient, only occasionally do we pine for the justice of an innocent man, but here the penalty is capital and yet we don't even bat an eyelid.
Luke 23:23-24 - But with loud shouts they insistently demanded that he be crucified, and their shouts prevailed. So Pilate decided to grant their demand. He released the man who had been thrown into prison for insurrection and murder, the one they asked for, and surrendered Jesus to their will.
Pilate being a weak judge, gives into the people's demands and releases a murderer. Where's the justice in this?
Luke 23:26 - As they led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus.
Who is Simon of Cyrene? You'd think that if Jesus was being crucified then his own disciples would have the common decency of at least saying goodbye to him, but where are they? They spent three years following hime around the place and at this juncture even they've abandoned him.
Who else abandons Jesus?
Mark 15:33-34 - At the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" — which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
I suspect that the world turned dark because God turned his back on his own son. Since God can not stand to exist in a place where sin lives and Jesus became sin for us, God literally forsook his own son.
If a father abandons his own son or tells his son to go to hell and actually means it, then this will be remembered forever. It is a horrible thing to tell your own children to go away because you can not bear to look at them.
Luke 23:50-56 - Now there was a man named Joseph, a member of the Council, a good and upright man, who had not consented to their decision and action. He came from the Judean town of Arimathea and he was waiting for the kingdom of God. Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus' body. Then he took it down, wrapped it in linen cloth and placed it in a tomb cut in the rock, one in which no one had yet been laid. It was Preparation Day, and the Sabbath was about to begin.
The women who had come with Jesus from Galilee followed Joseph and saw the tomb and how his body was laid in it. Then they went home and prepared spices and perfumes. But they rested on the Sabbath in obedience to the commandment.
Did Joseph of Arimathea know what was going on or was he just being nice to the man who he'd seen die. Remember we're told that he didn't agree with the decisions of the corrupt judges and despite the Passover celebrations only a couple of days away he still does what is only proper. Again no mention of the 11 at all where were they?
Jesus - Abandoned by His nation, the priests who supposedly were waiting for His coming, His disciples who been hanging around for 3 years and abandoned by God. And he didn't complain about this? He went wilingly? What sort of man is this?
Luke 15:12-14 - My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.
There's the essence of this. A man who loved the people of the world, despite knowing that they'd abandon him, laugh and mock him, then kill him.
How much does that hurt? How much pain and suffering does that entail?
And we have the nerve to call this Good Friday. Today is a day when collectively we should be both thankful and ashamed that the reason any of this happened is only because we abandoned God first.
We can relate to the phyisical pain quite easily because it's something that none of us would want to go through but even more shocking are the other events in this horrible story.
This day starts because Jesus had been accused of crimes which he has not committed. He answers to calling himself the "King of the Jews" which both the Pharisees and the Romans dislike, and they set about to have this man disposed of.
Luke 23:4 - Then Pilate announced to the chief priests and the crowd, "I find no basis for a charge against this man."
Again,
Luke 23:14 - You brought me this man as one who was inciting the people to rebellion. I have examined him in your presence and have found no basis for your charges against him.
And a third time,
Luke 23:22 - For the third time he spoke to them: "Why? What crime has this man committed? I have found in him no grounds for the death penalty. Therefore I will have him punished and then release him."
The man charged with the responsibility of finding Jesus guilty finds no charges by which he can force punishment, yet still yields to the will of the people. Jesus is the victim of a corrupt and dispicable justice system. Usually we jump up when a judge hands down a penalty that is too lenient, only occasionally do we pine for the justice of an innocent man, but here the penalty is capital and yet we don't even bat an eyelid.
Luke 23:23-24 - But with loud shouts they insistently demanded that he be crucified, and their shouts prevailed. So Pilate decided to grant their demand. He released the man who had been thrown into prison for insurrection and murder, the one they asked for, and surrendered Jesus to their will.
Pilate being a weak judge, gives into the people's demands and releases a murderer. Where's the justice in this?
Luke 23:26 - As they led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus.
Who is Simon of Cyrene? You'd think that if Jesus was being crucified then his own disciples would have the common decency of at least saying goodbye to him, but where are they? They spent three years following hime around the place and at this juncture even they've abandoned him.
Who else abandons Jesus?
Mark 15:33-34 - At the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" — which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
I suspect that the world turned dark because God turned his back on his own son. Since God can not stand to exist in a place where sin lives and Jesus became sin for us, God literally forsook his own son.
If a father abandons his own son or tells his son to go to hell and actually means it, then this will be remembered forever. It is a horrible thing to tell your own children to go away because you can not bear to look at them.
Luke 23:50-56 - Now there was a man named Joseph, a member of the Council, a good and upright man, who had not consented to their decision and action. He came from the Judean town of Arimathea and he was waiting for the kingdom of God. Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus' body. Then he took it down, wrapped it in linen cloth and placed it in a tomb cut in the rock, one in which no one had yet been laid. It was Preparation Day, and the Sabbath was about to begin.
The women who had come with Jesus from Galilee followed Joseph and saw the tomb and how his body was laid in it. Then they went home and prepared spices and perfumes. But they rested on the Sabbath in obedience to the commandment.
Did Joseph of Arimathea know what was going on or was he just being nice to the man who he'd seen die. Remember we're told that he didn't agree with the decisions of the corrupt judges and despite the Passover celebrations only a couple of days away he still does what is only proper. Again no mention of the 11 at all where were they?
Jesus - Abandoned by His nation, the priests who supposedly were waiting for His coming, His disciples who been hanging around for 3 years and abandoned by God. And he didn't complain about this? He went wilingly? What sort of man is this?
Luke 15:12-14 - My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.
There's the essence of this. A man who loved the people of the world, despite knowing that they'd abandon him, laugh and mock him, then kill him.
How much does that hurt? How much pain and suffering does that entail?
And we have the nerve to call this Good Friday. Today is a day when collectively we should be both thankful and ashamed that the reason any of this happened is only because we abandoned God first.
April 12, 2006
Horse 529 - Can't Fight The Moonlight
Last night I saw a production of Twelfth Night by the Bard. This is one of those confusing plays where there's cross-dressing involved and people accidentally falling in love with people of the same sex because they think that they're in reality of the opposite and only to find that in some cases they're being betrayed by the same person who they think is someone else... put it this way, if you were to draw a chart of who loves who and who thinks who is who in the play you'd end up with a twisted scribble on the paper that looks like Junction 6 on the M6 outside of Birmingham or more commonly refered to as Spaghetti Junction or officially the Gravelly Hill Interchange.
After I'd left the theatre I had to walk across a public park with what once would have been gaslamps. I would have taken a photograph except that the light meter told me that it wasn't worth the effort given the slow speed of film I was using.
Under electric light the world was bathed in a softness that you don't get with the blinding flash of daylight. Rows of lights on board ferries plied their way across the harbour and the Harbour Bridge takes on a steely green hue and is surrounded by zillions of birds and bats.
Even the Opera House begins to look like some fandangoed object of homemade art you might find at an agricultural fair. Set against the giant Christmas tree of winking lights they call the city, it's positively serene.
No wonder Shakespeare wrote Twelfth Night set against the scene of twilight. It's a convienient backdrop to set up a case of confusion because people can't see very well, but by the same token, if you step into such a world it is real purdy like.
Moonlight is only 1/5000th the power of the sun. It conjures up images of horse-drawn carriages in the park or perhaps those frosty driveway lights leading up to some country estate. A cosy cottage nestled out in the crook of a valley of a windswept moor, the glistening of splish-splashes in a calm sea.
"Swear not by the inconstant moon who monthly changes in her circled orb"
After I'd left the theatre I had to walk across a public park with what once would have been gaslamps. I would have taken a photograph except that the light meter told me that it wasn't worth the effort given the slow speed of film I was using.
Under electric light the world was bathed in a softness that you don't get with the blinding flash of daylight. Rows of lights on board ferries plied their way across the harbour and the Harbour Bridge takes on a steely green hue and is surrounded by zillions of birds and bats.
Even the Opera House begins to look like some fandangoed object of homemade art you might find at an agricultural fair. Set against the giant Christmas tree of winking lights they call the city, it's positively serene.
No wonder Shakespeare wrote Twelfth Night set against the scene of twilight. It's a convienient backdrop to set up a case of confusion because people can't see very well, but by the same token, if you step into such a world it is real purdy like.
Moonlight is only 1/5000th the power of the sun. It conjures up images of horse-drawn carriages in the park or perhaps those frosty driveway lights leading up to some country estate. A cosy cottage nestled out in the crook of a valley of a windswept moor, the glistening of splish-splashes in a calm sea.
"Swear not by the inconstant moon who monthly changes in her circled orb"
April 11, 2006
Horse 528 - England's 2006 World Cup Song
Usually about this time every two years before the start of a major tournament we have to endure the latest song for the England assault on another football trophy. Tunes like Three Lions (1996) found their way onto the terraces and there's always at least one version of The Great Escape running around; we've also had to endure things like We're On The Ball (2002) by Ant and Dec and who can forget (even though we try) World In Motion from 1990 with both Gazza and John Barnes rapping away.
In 2006 the England official song has fallen to the group Embrace with Danny McNamara and they've written a ditty called World At Your Feet. I heard this and I thought that it sounded vaugely familiar, and then I thought... it's a blatant rip-off of:
Think of a Number with Johnny Ball.
It is isn't it? It jolly well is. They've decided that the best way to showcase England this time around is a kids show from the early 80s. I get it now - it's retro kitsch innit? Think Of A Number was a kids maths puzzle type program that ended circa 1984 (sic) and I bet that half of the current England squad would have seen it themselves as children.
If they get Wayne "Shrek" Rooney to rap on this one then I'm afraid that it will really have come full circle. 6 year old kids (or those with the mentality of 6 year olds) singing songs for 6 year olds.
In 2006 the England official song has fallen to the group Embrace with Danny McNamara and they've written a ditty called World At Your Feet. I heard this and I thought that it sounded vaugely familiar, and then I thought... it's a blatant rip-off of:
Think of a Number with Johnny Ball.
It is isn't it? It jolly well is. They've decided that the best way to showcase England this time around is a kids show from the early 80s. I get it now - it's retro kitsch innit? Think Of A Number was a kids maths puzzle type program that ended circa 1984 (sic) and I bet that half of the current England squad would have seen it themselves as children.
If they get Wayne "Shrek" Rooney to rap on this one then I'm afraid that it will really have come full circle. 6 year old kids (or those with the mentality of 6 year olds) singing songs for 6 year olds.
April 10, 2006
Horse 527 - Bobobo-Bo Bo-Bobo
It is the 31st Century, and the Earth has fallen into dark times under the iron-fisted rule of the Marugarita Empire. The Marugarita Emperor, Tsuru Tsururina the Fourth, has instituted a policy of "hair hunting" as a display of his ruthless power. Feared groups of Hair Hunters roam the land, shaving the heads of the entire human race until they all become bald!
In this dark age, a single ray of hope shines brightly through the clouds: a man who has dedicated himself to protecting the peace and freedom of hair everywhere by standing up to the dreaded Marugarita Empire. That man is BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo, he of the golden Afro and the power of 5 foot long nostril hair!
Now, BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo, master of the infamous Nose Hair Karate techniques, and his sidekicks Beauty and Captain Don Pacci, set off on a journey to save the world from going bald... no really, that is the premise of this anime.
BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo is a martial arts expert who's main techniques revolve around the use of his 5ft long nostril hair. When he learns that a girl called Beauty is about to have her head shaved, because he can hear her hair cry out for a saviour, he decides to go and save her hair - not her, YES, he decides to go and save HER HAIR. Also we meet a man made entirely out of jelly and something that looks like the sun (I have no idea what it's supposed to be).
To accuse this anime of posessing even a thread of sanity is a lie. There's frequent use of hammer-space and the heros will even beat each other up for no reason other than because its fun.
Originally this was meant as a 6 episode filler over the dead rating period in the summer but someone at NHK obviously thought that the best way to spend Japanese licence-payer's fees was to give approval for another 72 episodes. I so hope that we get this in English, I've watched fansubs at anime conventions and have been fabulously confused; that's brilliant.
Kameha-meha-camera open-shutter-special earwax and newspaper ATTACK!!
April 09, 2006
Horse 526 - From Ancient Grudge Break To New Mutiny
eo
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger believes Chelsea remain in the driving seat to win the title despite pressure from Manchester United. The Gunners travel up to M6 to Old Trafford on Sunday knowing a victory would not only keep up their hopes of finishing in the top four, but also virtually end United's drive to catch league leaders Chelsea, who should pick up a simple 3 points against West Ham Utd at home at Stamford Bridge.
Arsenal and Man Utd have no love lost between them. This fixture has often ended in spite. In 2004 several players came to blows and even last year there were recorded incidents of soup and pizza being thrown in the players tunnel.
Sir Alex Ferguson has for the vast majority of his career been trying to outshine the great Bill Shankly. Whereas Shankly will be remembered for putting into place the conditions that created the greatest trophy run in England, Fergie knows that when he leaves there will be no-one to replace him. Shankly is known for his wit whereas Fergie is roundly thought of as a halfwit.
Arsene Wenger was the perfect manager for Arsenal. Both he and the club share the first four letters of their names, and those four letters are apt descriptors for both. "Boring Boring" Arsenal have the record of being one of only two clubs in history to go through a season undefeated. It is their "Boring Boring" football under "Boring Boring" Wenger that will mean that apart from the niggle that every referee is obliged to favour Utd at home for fear of being either assaulted or knifed in the car park, that this will be a "Boring Boring" fixture.
I hope that for Arsenal's sake they win. Not because I want them to secure fourth in the title but because I'd rather see Chelsea despite throwing £35zn at the title, it would mean that Utd doesn't win the Premiership.
Let's hope Va Va Voom slots one home.
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger believes Chelsea remain in the driving seat to win the title despite pressure from Manchester United. The Gunners travel up to M6 to Old Trafford on Sunday knowing a victory would not only keep up their hopes of finishing in the top four, but also virtually end United's drive to catch league leaders Chelsea, who should pick up a simple 3 points against West Ham Utd at home at Stamford Bridge.
Arsenal and Man Utd have no love lost between them. This fixture has often ended in spite. In 2004 several players came to blows and even last year there were recorded incidents of soup and pizza being thrown in the players tunnel.
Sir Alex Ferguson has for the vast majority of his career been trying to outshine the great Bill Shankly. Whereas Shankly will be remembered for putting into place the conditions that created the greatest trophy run in England, Fergie knows that when he leaves there will be no-one to replace him. Shankly is known for his wit whereas Fergie is roundly thought of as a halfwit.
Arsene Wenger was the perfect manager for Arsenal. Both he and the club share the first four letters of their names, and those four letters are apt descriptors for both. "Boring Boring" Arsenal have the record of being one of only two clubs in history to go through a season undefeated. It is their "Boring Boring" football under "Boring Boring" Wenger that will mean that apart from the niggle that every referee is obliged to favour Utd at home for fear of being either assaulted or knifed in the car park, that this will be a "Boring Boring" fixture.
I hope that for Arsenal's sake they win. Not because I want them to secure fourth in the title but because I'd rather see Chelsea despite throwing £35zn at the title, it would mean that Utd doesn't win the Premiership.
Let's hope Va Va Voom slots one home.
April 07, 2006
Horse 525 - Following the Rules
Occasionally you'll see reports on television of off the rail kids who have been sent to some form of extreme discipline school where as if by magic they learn how to fit in and become productive people. The kids themselves also often tell you that the experience was good for them... huh?
If you look at a herd of wild orangutans and remove one of them from the group, eventually the one that's been removed without a social structure by which to define themselves will resort to really strange behaviour like banging their head against trees or even (dare I say it) consuming their own scat. Why is this?
21st Century post-modern society that can't be bothered to read or even learn to cook for itself has taken the general philosophy that whatever you want to do is right for you, and then it wonders why crime statistics go up and there's a prevalence of fat kiddies who either have ADD* or discipline problems. Do people realise that they're a product of their environment?
Rules and regulations usually have associated penalties that occur when you break them. Speeding in a motor vehicle carries a fine, but more importantly unregulated driving if people didn't keep to their side of the road or obey traffic lights would result in death.
Adultery before the invention of abortions and the contraceptive pill would result in an unwanted pregnancy in some cases which is a heck of a change in life. Remove the consequences and we see other bizarre circumstances like this week the statistic that children of a single parent are 77% more likely to engage in cannabis use. The surprise here is that anyone was surprised.
As society moves further away from respect of the laws and regulations it ironically becomes a nastier and more unsafe place. Also ironically and I'll use the example of our road scene again, people despite not obeying the rules still feel aggrieved if someone else violates them. We feel annoyed that someone cut in front of us in line, or that people get off lightly for serious crimes like murder and rape, we feel saddened if people are wrongly accused.
If whatever you want to do is right for you, then it should follow that murder, rape, theft and lying are perfectly right for the murderer, rapist, thief and liar to commit. We all know that it's not and guess what, it's inbuilt.
Humanists will argue that if we're violated personally then that's a survival mechanism, but it still doesn't explain why the aggrivement if we're unconnected. That is unless...
You can tell who drew a picture by the style of the drawing. People hold a pencil differently and will have slightly different techniques. You could almost say that the drawing itself in an oblique way shows proof that the artist in question drew it. Take this to its extreme and yes handwriting analysis is acceptable as forensic evidence in court.
Now either this inbuilt sense of justice we have either proves the existance of a creator or it doesn't. If it doesn't then I fail to see what evolutionary purpose it serves because if its right for the person to do whatever they want and not follow any rules at all, then it follows that if everyone was built exactly the same way, then no-one would be aggrieved when the rules are broken.
Is our inbuilt sense of justice one of the hallmarks of a just creator?
If you look at a herd of wild orangutans and remove one of them from the group, eventually the one that's been removed without a social structure by which to define themselves will resort to really strange behaviour like banging their head against trees or even (dare I say it) consuming their own scat. Why is this?
21st Century post-modern society that can't be bothered to read or even learn to cook for itself has taken the general philosophy that whatever you want to do is right for you, and then it wonders why crime statistics go up and there's a prevalence of fat kiddies who either have ADD* or discipline problems. Do people realise that they're a product of their environment?
Rules and regulations usually have associated penalties that occur when you break them. Speeding in a motor vehicle carries a fine, but more importantly unregulated driving if people didn't keep to their side of the road or obey traffic lights would result in death.
Adultery before the invention of abortions and the contraceptive pill would result in an unwanted pregnancy in some cases which is a heck of a change in life. Remove the consequences and we see other bizarre circumstances like this week the statistic that children of a single parent are 77% more likely to engage in cannabis use. The surprise here is that anyone was surprised.
As society moves further away from respect of the laws and regulations it ironically becomes a nastier and more unsafe place. Also ironically and I'll use the example of our road scene again, people despite not obeying the rules still feel aggrieved if someone else violates them. We feel annoyed that someone cut in front of us in line, or that people get off lightly for serious crimes like murder and rape, we feel saddened if people are wrongly accused.
If whatever you want to do is right for you, then it should follow that murder, rape, theft and lying are perfectly right for the murderer, rapist, thief and liar to commit. We all know that it's not and guess what, it's inbuilt.
Humanists will argue that if we're violated personally then that's a survival mechanism, but it still doesn't explain why the aggrivement if we're unconnected. That is unless...
You can tell who drew a picture by the style of the drawing. People hold a pencil differently and will have slightly different techniques. You could almost say that the drawing itself in an oblique way shows proof that the artist in question drew it. Take this to its extreme and yes handwriting analysis is acceptable as forensic evidence in court.
Now either this inbuilt sense of justice we have either proves the existance of a creator or it doesn't. If it doesn't then I fail to see what evolutionary purpose it serves because if its right for the person to do whatever they want and not follow any rules at all, then it follows that if everyone was built exactly the same way, then no-one would be aggrieved when the rules are broken.
Is our inbuilt sense of justice one of the hallmarks of a just creator?
iFive - 7th Apr
I was in Micky D's yesterday morning mainly because I'd run out of revs and found a coupon in the local newspaper. Whilst I was in there, I saw a kid of about 8 years with an iPod of their own. Being in Neutral Bay this didn't surprise me in the slightest but it made me think, "what sort of music does an 8 year old girl listen to?"
She'd be to young to understand the highly sexualised music that record companies want to jam down our ears these days and I very much doubt that she could relate to the mysogenist hip-hop and rap music that makes it's way to the top of the charts; nor do I suspect she'd be listening to Punk/Ska/Rock/Metal either. I remain mystified myself.
When I was 8 years old I was either listening to 60s Rock'n'Roll on vinyl (do kids these days even know what a record is?) or Ska which was on JJJ.
1. Place Young Children In The Bins Provided - City Rail
2. Poisoning The Pigeons In The Park - Tom Lehrer
3. 1994 The Big One - Radio 1
4. Torn - Natalie Imbruglia
5. Fall To Pieces - Avril Lavigne
She'd be to young to understand the highly sexualised music that record companies want to jam down our ears these days and I very much doubt that she could relate to the mysogenist hip-hop and rap music that makes it's way to the top of the charts; nor do I suspect she'd be listening to Punk/Ska/Rock/Metal either. I remain mystified myself.
When I was 8 years old I was either listening to 60s Rock'n'Roll on vinyl (do kids these days even know what a record is?) or Ska which was on JJJ.
1. Place Young Children In The Bins Provided - City Rail
2. Poisoning The Pigeons In The Park - Tom Lehrer
3. 1994 The Big One - Radio 1
4. Torn - Natalie Imbruglia
5. Fall To Pieces - Avril Lavigne
April 06, 2006
Horse 524 - Form Fours
Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Curriculum Writer
2. Warehouse Assisstant
3. Bank Teller
4. Sound Engineer
Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Amelie
2. Breakfast At Tiffany's
3. The Italian Job
4. Those Magnificent Men and Their Flying Machines
Four places I have lived:
1. Seven Hills
2. Toxteth
3. Godalming
4. Glenferrie
Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. English Premier League Football
2. Whose Line Is It Anyway?
3. Samurai Champloo
4. The Chaser's War On Everything
Four places I have been on Holiday:
1. Perth
2. Stanthorpe
3. Monza
4. Number One
Four of my favourite foods:
1. Lamb Vindaloo
2. Pecan Pie
3. Yorkie Bar
4. Kraft Cheese Spread
Four people I've seen today:
1. Ralph - My Boss
2. Neve - The lady at the record store
3. Rick - Our next door neighbour
4. Jodee - At the coffee shop
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. San Diego
2. Liverpool
3. Saitama
4. Port of Spain
Four things I'm wearing right now:
1. Blue Shorts
2. 2006 England Football Strip
3. Watch
4. Red Underdaks
Four cities I've been to:
1. Brisbane
2. York
3. Westminster
4. Tokyo
Four schools I've attended:
1. Meadowbank TAFE
2. UTS School of Business
3. School of the Air
4. Girraween High
Four stores I'd spend my last $50 at:
1. BP
2. Lord Adbul Latif's House of Curry Hell
3. Phantom Zone
4. HMV
Four of my favourite CDs:
1. Don't Believe The Truth - Oasis
2. Under My Skin - Avril Lavigne
3. More Specials - The Specials
4. Funky Dory - Rachel Stevens
1. Curriculum Writer
2. Warehouse Assisstant
3. Bank Teller
4. Sound Engineer
Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Amelie
2. Breakfast At Tiffany's
3. The Italian Job
4. Those Magnificent Men and Their Flying Machines
Four places I have lived:
1. Seven Hills
2. Toxteth
3. Godalming
4. Glenferrie
Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. English Premier League Football
2. Whose Line Is It Anyway?
3. Samurai Champloo
4. The Chaser's War On Everything
Four places I have been on Holiday:
1. Perth
2. Stanthorpe
3. Monza
4. Number One
Four of my favourite foods:
1. Lamb Vindaloo
2. Pecan Pie
3. Yorkie Bar
4. Kraft Cheese Spread
Four people I've seen today:
1. Ralph - My Boss
2. Neve - The lady at the record store
3. Rick - Our next door neighbour
4. Jodee - At the coffee shop
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. San Diego
2. Liverpool
3. Saitama
4. Port of Spain
Four things I'm wearing right now:
1. Blue Shorts
2. 2006 England Football Strip
3. Watch
4. Red Underdaks
Four cities I've been to:
1. Brisbane
2. York
3. Westminster
4. Tokyo
Four schools I've attended:
1. Meadowbank TAFE
2. UTS School of Business
3. School of the Air
4. Girraween High
Four stores I'd spend my last $50 at:
1. BP
2. Lord Adbul Latif's House of Curry Hell
3. Phantom Zone
4. HMV
Four of my favourite CDs:
1. Don't Believe The Truth - Oasis
2. Under My Skin - Avril Lavigne
3. More Specials - The Specials
4. Funky Dory - Rachel Stevens
April 05, 2006
Horse 523 - New Newness
Just between you and me and the gatepost and the whole world because this is on the net, I have thought for a long time that the prefix of "New" in a town's name is simply tacky and doesn't show any forethought. It's as if the people in the new place were bereft of imagination and couldn't come up with their own name at all. These then are just a few of the New names that aren't really New at all.
New Zealand - Our friends across the Tasman in their all-black shirts who like nothing better than to steal the Bledisloe and Melbourne Cups probably don't realise that Zeeland is actually one of the Netherlands.
Zeeland is a confabulation of a few islands and a bit bordering Belgium so perhaps when Abel Tasman sailed around he thought that naming them after something back home would be good... bit silly.
New South Wales - The south of Wales is a grey bleak part of the world covered in what seems like perpetual cloud and driving rain. The differences are stark as New South Wales is a sunny somewhat dry land with fluffy white clouds, surfing beaches and flat mountains.
Was James Cook taking the mick out of Wales when he named here? South Wales would have been a more appropriate place for a gaol than the penal colony at Port Jackson 18 years later.
New York - The Big Apple is famous for tall buildings, financial markets, massive crowding and big productions on stage. York the capital of Yorkshire is famous for... village cricket and slow people?
The white rose county is steeped in history with cathedrals and evidence of Vikings and Romans. The only Roman you're likely to find in New York is Roman Abramovich doing oil trading.
New Caledonia - This is a French territory that is names after something in the UK. Caledonia was the Latin name for Scotland The differences between Caledonia and New Caledonia are even more stark than between South Wales and New South Wales.
In New Caledonia, one might find one's self on a deck chair beside a swimming pool in the tropical sunshine sipping daquiris. In Caledonia, you might also find people in varying states of undress but rest assured the circumstances will be more daft. The French have this habit of kissing each other on the cheek as a form of greeting, but the only kiss you're likely to get in Caledonia is a Glaswegian one.
Maybe denoting something as "New" is a form of irony. Maybe that's what Mr Howard meant when he told us of a "New" Tax System with the GST.
New Zealand - Our friends across the Tasman in their all-black shirts who like nothing better than to steal the Bledisloe and Melbourne Cups probably don't realise that Zeeland is actually one of the Netherlands.
Zeeland is a confabulation of a few islands and a bit bordering Belgium so perhaps when Abel Tasman sailed around he thought that naming them after something back home would be good... bit silly.
New South Wales - The south of Wales is a grey bleak part of the world covered in what seems like perpetual cloud and driving rain. The differences are stark as New South Wales is a sunny somewhat dry land with fluffy white clouds, surfing beaches and flat mountains.
Was James Cook taking the mick out of Wales when he named here? South Wales would have been a more appropriate place for a gaol than the penal colony at Port Jackson 18 years later.
New York - The Big Apple is famous for tall buildings, financial markets, massive crowding and big productions on stage. York the capital of Yorkshire is famous for... village cricket and slow people?
The white rose county is steeped in history with cathedrals and evidence of Vikings and Romans. The only Roman you're likely to find in New York is Roman Abramovich doing oil trading.
New Caledonia - This is a French territory that is names after something in the UK. Caledonia was the Latin name for Scotland The differences between Caledonia and New Caledonia are even more stark than between South Wales and New South Wales.
In New Caledonia, one might find one's self on a deck chair beside a swimming pool in the tropical sunshine sipping daquiris. In Caledonia, you might also find people in varying states of undress but rest assured the circumstances will be more daft. The French have this habit of kissing each other on the cheek as a form of greeting, but the only kiss you're likely to get in Caledonia is a Glaswegian one.
Maybe denoting something as "New" is a form of irony. Maybe that's what Mr Howard meant when he told us of a "New" Tax System with the GST.
April 04, 2006
Horse 522 - In Distress?
The flags are flying at half-mast today because of the state funeral for artist Pro Hart in Broken Hill. Traditionally, flags are flown at half mast if someone has died or to indicate some other mourning such as the Tricoleur being flown at half mast from most public places whilst under Nazi occupation.
Not only is the flag on the council chamber at half mast, but it's also upside down. This is sometimes done to express a state of mutiny which in the grand scheme of things, isn't likely because technically Mosman would still be part of NSW ergo Australia, who's flag is upside down.
Flags are sometimes flown upside down for other reasons. If a crew abandons a ship in distress to save their life, the last thing to do (if they have time to do so) is to turn the flag upside down. This means that they give up any right on the vessel or cargo and anybody who manages to rescue the ship afterwards could keep it.
Some navies in the age of sail apparently inverted the ensign of an enemy ship after they captured it, although the normal procedure was to hoist their own ensign above the enemy ensign aboard the prize. On the other hand, it would obviously be useless to invert the French ensign as either a distress signal or as a sign of capture, while the fact that some others were inverted (Spain, Libya, Portugal) would only be visible at very close range. Not to mention that there are a few flags whose inversion would simply make them someone else's flag as in the case of Ireland.
Could it be that Mosman Municipal Council is in distress or is free to capture? I would very much like to be Town Mayor through minimal force, then maybe I could get a parking permit.
Not only is the flag on the council chamber at half mast, but it's also upside down. This is sometimes done to express a state of mutiny which in the grand scheme of things, isn't likely because technically Mosman would still be part of NSW ergo Australia, who's flag is upside down.
Flags are sometimes flown upside down for other reasons. If a crew abandons a ship in distress to save their life, the last thing to do (if they have time to do so) is to turn the flag upside down. This means that they give up any right on the vessel or cargo and anybody who manages to rescue the ship afterwards could keep it.
Some navies in the age of sail apparently inverted the ensign of an enemy ship after they captured it, although the normal procedure was to hoist their own ensign above the enemy ensign aboard the prize. On the other hand, it would obviously be useless to invert the French ensign as either a distress signal or as a sign of capture, while the fact that some others were inverted (Spain, Libya, Portugal) would only be visible at very close range. Not to mention that there are a few flags whose inversion would simply make them someone else's flag as in the case of Ireland.
Could it be that Mosman Municipal Council is in distress or is free to capture? I would very much like to be Town Mayor through minimal force, then maybe I could get a parking permit.
April 01, 2006
Phwoooaar!
There's a horrible farty smell in here and it's definately not coming from my bottom.
They must have got it on lay-by from the cat.
It's rank.
They must have got it on lay-by from the cat.
It's rank.
Horse 521 - They Have Changed
We've all see those ads of the blokes barbequing and then they zoom out to like a bunch of identical blokes barbequing and then they zoom out even further with music going and the blokes turn into dots of flavour on a Barbeque Shape.
They've got Pizza Shapes and Salsa Shapes and even Chilli Shapes but my contention is that Barbeque Shapes have changed.
I reckon if they did that advert again but this time made it true to life, and zoomed back in you'd find three blokes on the biscuit going "Sorry, they didn't employ enough of us. Johnny Howard and his IR reforms mean that we're too expensive now" The point is that they're just not full of flavour anymore.
When Maggi had it's Flavour-Flavour-Flavour Maggi-Maggi-Maggi noodles advert all those years ago, I wonder if they considered that to re-do the advert now and keep truth in advertising it should now read Flavour-Fl..whatever Maggi-Maggi-Maggi-Maggi? I bet not.
Even Iced Vo-Vo biscuits aren't as flavoursome as they used to be. I'm sure that once upon a time all of that iced bit went all the way to edges. Do you think I don't notice? Hello? The Iced Vo-Vo isn't worthy to be called Iced Vo now; in fact it's almost in danger of becoming so boring that it might turn into an Iced Volvo biscuit. Put a hat on those blokes, bung them in a 1976 244 Estate and tell them not to fall asleep while watching The Bill.
Food companies, don't think we don't notice. There used to be days when you'd look forward to sticking your fingers into the bottom of the back and getting all those bits that fell off but now, it as though they thought of that and they come pre-fallen off for you.
They've got Pizza Shapes and Salsa Shapes and even Chilli Shapes but my contention is that Barbeque Shapes have changed.
I reckon if they did that advert again but this time made it true to life, and zoomed back in you'd find three blokes on the biscuit going "Sorry, they didn't employ enough of us. Johnny Howard and his IR reforms mean that we're too expensive now" The point is that they're just not full of flavour anymore.
When Maggi had it's Flavour-Flavour-Flavour Maggi-Maggi-Maggi noodles advert all those years ago, I wonder if they considered that to re-do the advert now and keep truth in advertising it should now read Flavour-Fl..whatever Maggi-Maggi-Maggi-Maggi? I bet not.
Even Iced Vo-Vo biscuits aren't as flavoursome as they used to be. I'm sure that once upon a time all of that iced bit went all the way to edges. Do you think I don't notice? Hello? The Iced Vo-Vo isn't worthy to be called Iced Vo now; in fact it's almost in danger of becoming so boring that it might turn into an Iced Volvo biscuit. Put a hat on those blokes, bung them in a 1976 244 Estate and tell them not to fall asleep while watching The Bill.
Food companies, don't think we don't notice. There used to be days when you'd look forward to sticking your fingers into the bottom of the back and getting all those bits that fell off but now, it as though they thought of that and they come pre-fallen off for you.
March 31, 2006
Horse 520 - Forza Corsa
The ever-lovely Katja makes mention in her blog about catching a glimpse of the Chevy C2, and then falling in love with it. Also spying the Corsa also by Chevrolet and lamenting the fact that they simply do not appear on American roads.
Australian readers will recognise the Chevy C2 as the Holden Barina SB which was sold here between 1993 and 2001, whilst the Corsa as the Holden Barina XC between 2001 and 2005.
For the remainder of this, I'm going to refer to the Corsa under all its nameplates (Holden Barina, Chevrolet C2, Chevrolet Corsa, Vauxhall Corsa, Opel Corsa) as the Corsa because if I've learnt anything over the past 20 years about naming cars, badge engineering is downright confusing.
When the Vauxhall Chevette had grown too big after 10 years, Vauxhall needed a car to aim against Ford's replacement for the Escort, the Fiesta. So they basically entered an agreement which still exists to share development with Opel (also a GM company) for their entire range of cars. Opel already had a 1.4L car in the Corsa, so naturally Vauxhall took that and under the name of the Vauxhall Nova the car like it had in Germany become the choice of boy racers and more recently as the originals are reaching their life's end, becoming the favourite of chavs.
Holden had been using Suzuki's Swift for about 6 years, but when Suzuki faded in a banking crisis, Holden continued their Barina nameplate and threw it onto the Corsa. Since 1983 there have been only 3 models (funnily enough referred to as Corsa 1, Corsa 2 and Corsa 3) and they've pretty well much been a mainstay of GM's lineup as petrol prices and taxes have increased.
I drove a Corsa 3 in England in 2004 because there were no Kas in the hire car lot. So what did I find exactly? Well I found this photo for a start... er, read on ^_^
Like the Astra and the Vectra, the ergonomics are fantastic. Opel learnt something with their Rekord in the late 70s and have remained true to those dimensions ever since. People often critisise GM for producing boring cars, but when you keep in mind how easy they are to drive in traffic when most people are brain dead, this is a virtue not a minus.
Styling wise I always liked the fine treatment that Vauxhall gives their cars. Chevrolet and Holden always get the Opel inserts but Vauxhall always tries to incorporate their little flying V in chrome on the front. The 04 reg Corsa I had even had the incoming 2005 front bumper with the corner chin vents.
Inside the Corsa looks like any other Opel. The Blaupunkt radio is this great grey slab in the centre of the console with the display in orange LCD embedded into the front parcel shelf. This was the first time I'd ever seen digital radio in a car and to be honest, it looked practically identical to a regular AM/FM radio with RDS*. Noticeably the buttons were also boring and grey which if nothing shows German efficiency.
The 3 door Corsa unlike the Fiesta and even the 3 door Golf and Polo has fixed rear windows. On hot days in Australia this can be rather annoying as the people in the back swelter; but the 5 door has wind-down windows.
The Corsa is a fun little car to drive and is equal to the Fiesta in every regard. I probably would have bought one if the Ka wasn't so cute, because they've had 23 years to iron out the problems with Corsa and by now you could practically drive them for half a million miles save for cancer (rust) in the bodywork.
The Corsa is certainly worth at least 3 stars and possibly a hurrah.
Australian readers will recognise the Chevy C2 as the Holden Barina SB which was sold here between 1993 and 2001, whilst the Corsa as the Holden Barina XC between 2001 and 2005.
For the remainder of this, I'm going to refer to the Corsa under all its nameplates (Holden Barina, Chevrolet C2, Chevrolet Corsa, Vauxhall Corsa, Opel Corsa) as the Corsa because if I've learnt anything over the past 20 years about naming cars, badge engineering is downright confusing.
When the Vauxhall Chevette had grown too big after 10 years, Vauxhall needed a car to aim against Ford's replacement for the Escort, the Fiesta. So they basically entered an agreement which still exists to share development with Opel (also a GM company) for their entire range of cars. Opel already had a 1.4L car in the Corsa, so naturally Vauxhall took that and under the name of the Vauxhall Nova the car like it had in Germany become the choice of boy racers and more recently as the originals are reaching their life's end, becoming the favourite of chavs.
Holden had been using Suzuki's Swift for about 6 years, but when Suzuki faded in a banking crisis, Holden continued their Barina nameplate and threw it onto the Corsa. Since 1983 there have been only 3 models (funnily enough referred to as Corsa 1, Corsa 2 and Corsa 3) and they've pretty well much been a mainstay of GM's lineup as petrol prices and taxes have increased.
I drove a Corsa 3 in England in 2004 because there were no Kas in the hire car lot. So what did I find exactly? Well I found this photo for a start... er, read on ^_^
Like the Astra and the Vectra, the ergonomics are fantastic. Opel learnt something with their Rekord in the late 70s and have remained true to those dimensions ever since. People often critisise GM for producing boring cars, but when you keep in mind how easy they are to drive in traffic when most people are brain dead, this is a virtue not a minus.
Styling wise I always liked the fine treatment that Vauxhall gives their cars. Chevrolet and Holden always get the Opel inserts but Vauxhall always tries to incorporate their little flying V in chrome on the front. The 04 reg Corsa I had even had the incoming 2005 front bumper with the corner chin vents.
Inside the Corsa looks like any other Opel. The Blaupunkt radio is this great grey slab in the centre of the console with the display in orange LCD embedded into the front parcel shelf. This was the first time I'd ever seen digital radio in a car and to be honest, it looked practically identical to a regular AM/FM radio with RDS*. Noticeably the buttons were also boring and grey which if nothing shows German efficiency.
The 3 door Corsa unlike the Fiesta and even the 3 door Golf and Polo has fixed rear windows. On hot days in Australia this can be rather annoying as the people in the back swelter; but the 5 door has wind-down windows.
The Corsa is a fun little car to drive and is equal to the Fiesta in every regard. I probably would have bought one if the Ka wasn't so cute, because they've had 23 years to iron out the problems with Corsa and by now you could practically drive them for half a million miles save for cancer (rust) in the bodywork.
The Corsa is certainly worth at least 3 stars and possibly a hurrah.
March 30, 2006
Horse 519 - I Blame Both Parties
I direct you to your Sydney Morning Herald for today the 30th March 2006.
On page 6 of the newspaper, the Australian Government (ie the federal govt) has taken out a full page advert slagging off the NSW State Govt for not honouring the 1999 agreement on double taxation with respect to things like Stamp Duty.
On page 9 of the newspaper, the NSW State Government has taken out a full page advert slagging off the Australian Commonwealth Government for not dividing the GST revenue it's collected fairly bewteen the states. It accuses the Federal Govt of ripping off the people of NSW to the tune of A$3bn that never returns to NSW.
Elsewhere in the newspaper we are told the the OECD figures release mean that the people of Australia are the third most taxed nation on the planet. That is we pay more in income tax, consumption tax and other levies than everyone else in the world except Denmark and Norway.
Now I don't know about you but the fact that our Federal Highways are in disrepair, our trains, hospitals, public schools, police service (at both Federal and State) levels don't work points to gross mismanagement on the part of both the State and Federal Governments. Let me just point out here that we have a state Labor government and a federal Liberal government so basically this incompotence draws right across party lines.
Quite frankly two full page adverts taken out on the same day shows blatent disregard for the people who put the politicians there when a simple phone call should have sufficed.
Labor, Liberal, State, Federal - we're governed by excrement and at risk of pointing fingers at anyone lest I accidentally touch any of the crud, anyone who voted for any political party over the last 5 years I now hold directly responsible.
Australia - you actually VOTED for this scum - SUFFER!!
On page 6 of the newspaper, the Australian Government (ie the federal govt) has taken out a full page advert slagging off the NSW State Govt for not honouring the 1999 agreement on double taxation with respect to things like Stamp Duty.
On page 9 of the newspaper, the NSW State Government has taken out a full page advert slagging off the Australian Commonwealth Government for not dividing the GST revenue it's collected fairly bewteen the states. It accuses the Federal Govt of ripping off the people of NSW to the tune of A$3bn that never returns to NSW.
Elsewhere in the newspaper we are told the the OECD figures release mean that the people of Australia are the third most taxed nation on the planet. That is we pay more in income tax, consumption tax and other levies than everyone else in the world except Denmark and Norway.
Now I don't know about you but the fact that our Federal Highways are in disrepair, our trains, hospitals, public schools, police service (at both Federal and State) levels don't work points to gross mismanagement on the part of both the State and Federal Governments. Let me just point out here that we have a state Labor government and a federal Liberal government so basically this incompotence draws right across party lines.
Quite frankly two full page adverts taken out on the same day shows blatent disregard for the people who put the politicians there when a simple phone call should have sufficed.
Labor, Liberal, State, Federal - we're governed by excrement and at risk of pointing fingers at anyone lest I accidentally touch any of the crud, anyone who voted for any political party over the last 5 years I now hold directly responsible.
Australia - you actually VOTED for this scum - SUFFER!!
March 29, 2006
Horse 518 - Turnstile World
Some of my friends from back in high school are in town this week and it's amazing at the differences 8 years makes. Among which is the fact that they're married with a pair of 6 year old twin boys - what happened there?!
Anyway (and the point of this post) is that kids are amused by things that grown up wouldn't understand. People will go to a city to see the sights, and although a trip on the ferry across the harbour, going across the Harbour Bridge, seeing the Opera House, going to the zoo, are all fun things, you know what the kids were most amused by? The keycard to get into the hotel room.
Suddenly they had all this power that they've never had before. Watching the little light go from red to green meant that they had control over something. Then there was the little safe in the room that big people put their wallets and keys into when housekeeping come around. I guarantee that half the room must have ended up in that safe.
Then inside the hotel lobby there's a big revolving door. Whilst we were having coffee (that wasn't very good I must say) they were going around and around and around with the door for what must have been 20 minutes.
What about the travellators in a shopping centre? How fun are they? I must confess to just last week going down an up escalator at Martin Place Railway Station and I'm only 28 next birthday.
Maybe there should be a theme park called Turnstile World where kids can push buttons and ride escalators and go around doors all day long. Then again maybe not...
Anyway (and the point of this post) is that kids are amused by things that grown up wouldn't understand. People will go to a city to see the sights, and although a trip on the ferry across the harbour, going across the Harbour Bridge, seeing the Opera House, going to the zoo, are all fun things, you know what the kids were most amused by? The keycard to get into the hotel room.
Suddenly they had all this power that they've never had before. Watching the little light go from red to green meant that they had control over something. Then there was the little safe in the room that big people put their wallets and keys into when housekeeping come around. I guarantee that half the room must have ended up in that safe.
Then inside the hotel lobby there's a big revolving door. Whilst we were having coffee (that wasn't very good I must say) they were going around and around and around with the door for what must have been 20 minutes.
What about the travellators in a shopping centre? How fun are they? I must confess to just last week going down an up escalator at Martin Place Railway Station and I'm only 28 next birthday.
Maybe there should be a theme park called Turnstile World where kids can push buttons and ride escalators and go around doors all day long. Then again maybe not...
March 26, 2006
Horse 517 - Red vs Blue
When you stop and think about there really are lot of things in our lives in which red and blue are in competition. No doubt the folks in Liverpool this weekend aren't talking any more (for a couple of days), with the 203rd local derby of Liverpool and Everton. Liverpool won 3-1 this time, so the red half of the city will be joyous whilst the blue half will be in quiet grumpyness. You can even see it on the doors of the city. Rows and rows of terraced houses with either red or blue doors indicating which colour of the divide the household sits on.
In Adelaide over the weekend we had the running of the V8 Supercars. The two camps of Holden and Ford are none other than Team Red and the Blue Oval. The General's red army and the red barons vs Captain Invicible's blue falcons.
Even when a child is born there is a rivalry over colour. Girls get dressed in pink which is just another way of saying pastel red, whilst boys get blue.
When I was a kid there was a claymation telly program called The Red and The Blue. The Red was a big red blob of clay and The Blue was a little blue one. For some reason I think that they spoke Polish but I only know like one word in Polish which is Usta which isn't useful in conversation except that it's the word for lip.
Even lips can be described as red and blue. While a pair of red lips might be quite nice to look at on a lady, you'd feel sorry for the same lady with blue lips because this would mean that she'd be quite cold.
Speaking of that the hot and cold taps are usually denoted by a red and a blue marker to tell you which one is which.
In our own bodies there is both red and blue blood. Red blood is full of oxygen and useful while blue blood is drained and must be sent back to the lungs for replenishment. This makes me wonder about the phrase being blue blooded. I usuallly have connotations of the deep South whenever someone mentions this and of dames and mustachioed people like Yosemite Sam.
Red cordial sens kids hyper but I would ever give children blue something to drink because the only blue liquid I know of is kerosine and that's not yummy at all... actually, I might give it to nasty horrible kids.
In Adelaide over the weekend we had the running of the V8 Supercars. The two camps of Holden and Ford are none other than Team Red and the Blue Oval. The General's red army and the red barons vs Captain Invicible's blue falcons.
Even when a child is born there is a rivalry over colour. Girls get dressed in pink which is just another way of saying pastel red, whilst boys get blue.
When I was a kid there was a claymation telly program called The Red and The Blue. The Red was a big red blob of clay and The Blue was a little blue one. For some reason I think that they spoke Polish but I only know like one word in Polish which is Usta which isn't useful in conversation except that it's the word for lip.
Even lips can be described as red and blue. While a pair of red lips might be quite nice to look at on a lady, you'd feel sorry for the same lady with blue lips because this would mean that she'd be quite cold.
Speaking of that the hot and cold taps are usually denoted by a red and a blue marker to tell you which one is which.
In our own bodies there is both red and blue blood. Red blood is full of oxygen and useful while blue blood is drained and must be sent back to the lungs for replenishment. This makes me wonder about the phrase being blue blooded. I usuallly have connotations of the deep South whenever someone mentions this and of dames and mustachioed people like Yosemite Sam.
Red cordial sens kids hyper but I would ever give children blue something to drink because the only blue liquid I know of is kerosine and that's not yummy at all... actually, I might give it to nasty horrible kids.
March 24, 2006
iFive - 24th Mar
Sitting watch Wenty Uniting playing football last weekend, I was comparing stuff on the iPod with Tim Markham. His 30GB Video iPod had far less songs on it, and I seemed to have most of them covered. A thought struck me about a video iPod - the video function would be virtually useless in my life.
I use my iPod mainly whilst walking or driving in the car. While walking it sits in my back pocket, and when driving it's on the floor. In neither place would I have the ability to watch the screen. If I was watching a DVD, then I'd do so on the player at home with a proper television. I can see the benefit for travellers on the train but that's about it.
Also, the chap who's been through the desert on a horse with no name - what happens if he loses the horse? How does he call it back again? I wonder.
1. A Horse With No Name - America
2. A Song of Patriotic Predjudice - Flanders & Swann
3. It Won't Be Long - The Beatles
4. Keep It Gay - The Producers
5. Club Cyberia - Serial Experiments Lain
I use my iPod mainly whilst walking or driving in the car. While walking it sits in my back pocket, and when driving it's on the floor. In neither place would I have the ability to watch the screen. If I was watching a DVD, then I'd do so on the player at home with a proper television. I can see the benefit for travellers on the train but that's about it.
Also, the chap who's been through the desert on a horse with no name - what happens if he loses the horse? How does he call it back again? I wonder.
1. A Horse With No Name - America
2. A Song of Patriotic Predjudice - Flanders & Swann
3. It Won't Be Long - The Beatles
4. Keep It Gay - The Producers
5. Club Cyberia - Serial Experiments Lain
March 22, 2006
Horse 516 - Stuck In A Hole
Come with me on a thought exercise. I have something to say to a few people here - I intend to say it to all of them using allegory.
You're walking along a road when suddenly you fall down. In most circumstances it would be a simple case of picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and continuing the journey. Sure you might be a little bit dusty and dirty and it might even hurt a bit, but you're able to go on fairly well.
Now suppose you're walking along and trying to be careful where you're walking. Because you're looking down at your feet, you walk headlong into a lamppost. Again it hurts (quite a bit more than simply falling over) but no real damage is done except for the loss of pride and you're able to go on. Sure you might feel a bit silly for walking into the lamppost but if you want to get to your destination, you get nowhere by standing still.
In part three you're walking along the pavement in a fog. You can't see what lies ahead but you can hear your friends further up the street so you head towards them. Because it's so foggy you don't happen to see a big hole in the road from where they're installing some new stormwater pipes and you fall in. It's a big hole and you can't climb out.
Unlike the first two scenarios, you can't actually do anything for yourself to get out. If you get up, you'll still be at the bottom of the hole. The phrase "lift yourself up by your bootstraps" is by all accounts useless, since no-one by any effort can lift themselves from their bootstraps even one inch into the air let alone out of a 6ft hole.
No, the only way to get out of the hole is to call out to your friends. Even if they do hear you and find you in the hole, the only way that they'll ever get you out is to give them your hands and let them pull you out.
Whatever the case, the people who could help you out of the hole certainly won't help you unless you ask them AND reach your hands out to them. You could remain silent and not cause a disturbance but you'd still be in the hole and that's just stupid isn't it?
If you are in a hole, call out. It's not silly to ask for help but it is stupid to be stuck in a hole if other people could help you out.
Here ends the allegory.
Are you still stuck in the hole?
You're walking along a road when suddenly you fall down. In most circumstances it would be a simple case of picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and continuing the journey. Sure you might be a little bit dusty and dirty and it might even hurt a bit, but you're able to go on fairly well.
Now suppose you're walking along and trying to be careful where you're walking. Because you're looking down at your feet, you walk headlong into a lamppost. Again it hurts (quite a bit more than simply falling over) but no real damage is done except for the loss of pride and you're able to go on. Sure you might feel a bit silly for walking into the lamppost but if you want to get to your destination, you get nowhere by standing still.
In part three you're walking along the pavement in a fog. You can't see what lies ahead but you can hear your friends further up the street so you head towards them. Because it's so foggy you don't happen to see a big hole in the road from where they're installing some new stormwater pipes and you fall in. It's a big hole and you can't climb out.
Unlike the first two scenarios, you can't actually do anything for yourself to get out. If you get up, you'll still be at the bottom of the hole. The phrase "lift yourself up by your bootstraps" is by all accounts useless, since no-one by any effort can lift themselves from their bootstraps even one inch into the air let alone out of a 6ft hole.
No, the only way to get out of the hole is to call out to your friends. Even if they do hear you and find you in the hole, the only way that they'll ever get you out is to give them your hands and let them pull you out.
Whatever the case, the people who could help you out of the hole certainly won't help you unless you ask them AND reach your hands out to them. You could remain silent and not cause a disturbance but you'd still be in the hole and that's just stupid isn't it?
If you are in a hole, call out. It's not silly to ask for help but it is stupid to be stuck in a hole if other people could help you out.
Here ends the allegory.
Are you still stuck in the hole?
March 20, 2006
Horse 515 - Happy Peeps
I'm fiddling with proprietary settings on the scanner at work because it's pretty well similar to the one at home and I've decided that the best way to attack which settings work the best is purely on a hit-and-miss basis. I figure that part of the skill in using the medium is to be trained by the medium to a degree; painters will have at least a feel of how paint works on a canvas and sculptors can actually feel what works with their raw materials, so this by my mind is only fair.
When actually drawing things, I worked out that it might be best to step away from the brink to a degree. I could render things so that they look brilliant on paper, but then when it's time to scan them in, all I get is undefined dark patches. Sam and Fuzzy has a guide on their website and it's a reasonable discourse on both the advantages and limitations of a pure black/white system. I could of course draw the whole thing on a drawing tablet, but this would mean that I would need to buy one of them and although the results do look more polished, I don't think that they necessarily retain a sense of grit - I don't know, things on a drawing table just don't feel organic.
So then, these three doodles were more an exercise in not what I could add but what I could take away from a drawing. Could I convey coyness? How about being smug? What about just being generally happy? I think I achieved something by taking stuff away.
Also, there's an interesting habit that's crept in. I don't know why but of the last 60 or so scribbles I've made in my little notebook (made from the same 120gsm paper as a process diary), people are inheriting little antennae in their hair. I can't explain this, but something about it makes me feel a little bit more satisfied to see the odd errant hair lazily and defiantly standing proud for no reason.
Mind you to produce just these three, I've probably scribbled about 100 odd faces/hands/eyes.
Wastebin full of paper,
Clever rhymes, see you later.
March 17, 2006
Horse 514 - The Irish Question
If I look at Ireland and especially today, I'm reminded of a great vein of humour, culture and stupidity that runs through it. When Pope John Paul II died, it was the Irish who had Father Dougal Maguire running in bookmaker's charts at 1000-1 of being the next pope, which isn't too bad for a ficitional person who also didn't happen to believe in God. I'm also somewhat disappointed with the nation, who in 1910 had more missionarys than any other nation but just 6 years later while Europe was at war, neutral Ireland decended into civil war which still leaves a bloody mark on the doorposts and bullet holes in the stonemasonry today.
When I was a kid, you'd look in the atlas at a map of the world and wonder why there were several countries with the same name. WEST Germany and EAST Germany were separated by a dismal Iron Curtain that had descended after WW2. NORTH Korea and SOUTH Korea were separated by an equally vexing gap of no man's land because of the Korean War but over in Western Europe; far, far, far over Western Europe, there was something that made no sense.
Ireland, was and still is two countries. The Emerald Isle had this very orange bit on the top. Of the four big Counties of Ireland (being Ulster, Leinster, Munster and Connacht) one was owned by the other "country" of the British Isles - The UK, but not entirely.
It's ironic as the Commonwealth Games are going on, that the only country that shares a border with the UK, isn't part of the Commonwealth so isn't represented at the games. It's also ironic that the UK which seemingly prides itself as a secular state should have a disagreement which often boils over into violence on a matter which has a least some basis in a dispute between Protestants and Catholics.
In 1620 when the Pilgrims left for the New World, they were escaping religious persecution. In 1658 with Cromwell, the English Civil War was fought as result of the same undertones. Even Guy Fawkes in 1605 had a dispute on the subject. Clearly 400 years have taught us nothing, the Irish Question is the same question all along. If you go to Scotland the rivalry is played out (also with violence) when Rangers and Celtic play each other. 400 years of Catholics and Protestants firing weapons at each other is just pointless.
It's a real disappointment to me that the land of green should be split. The Rugby, Hurling and Gaelic Football doesn't seem to have a problem so why should the nation? It does not make sense.
Personally I think that the island should be one country either under the administration of the UK (as Ireland) or as a republic (as Ireland). The idea that there should be a line is as preposterous as the latest Irish Inventions (waterproof teabags, fly-screens on submarines, fireproof matches, inflatable dartboards etc). In short, everyone should - put up, shut up and get on with each other. The Irish deserve their reputation for being stupid if all they want to do is blow each other up.
The spiritual serpants are still in Ireland. St Patrick may may driven them out, but they came back... and continue to bite.
The rottenest bits of these islands of ours,
We've left in the hands of three unfriendly powers,
Examine the Irishman, Welshman or Scot,
You'll find hes a stinker as likely as not.
The Irishman, now, our contempt is beneath,
He sleeps in his boots and he lies in his teeth,
He blows up policemen (or so I have heard),
And blames it on Cromwell and William the Third.
That is not to say that Ireland is all bad. I think of the work of Samuel Beckett and his most famous work Waiting for Godot which is surely one of the best written absurdist tragi-comedies of all time (if not the only absurdist tragi-comedy of all time).What about Eddie Irvine who was the self-proclaimed "second best driver in the world"? Sir Terry Wogan who took up British citizenship for one reason only - to claim the title of Sir. He's been sharing his half-baked view of the world with us on both BBC Radio 1 and Radio 2 now since 1967 and every year gives us his unique commentary on the Eurovision song contest (which Ireland have won 7 times).
There's hope for Ireland as well. Their free education policies 20 years ago have now resulted in Ireland being the world's fourth biggest producer of new computer software.
And then there's the famous River Liffey. The river that flows into the Guinness factory but doesn't flow out again... hmm.
My most lasting memory was an advert at Dublin Airport:
Fly Aer Lingus and you'll never walk again.
When I was a kid, you'd look in the atlas at a map of the world and wonder why there were several countries with the same name. WEST Germany and EAST Germany were separated by a dismal Iron Curtain that had descended after WW2. NORTH Korea and SOUTH Korea were separated by an equally vexing gap of no man's land because of the Korean War but over in Western Europe; far, far, far over Western Europe, there was something that made no sense.
Ireland, was and still is two countries. The Emerald Isle had this very orange bit on the top. Of the four big Counties of Ireland (being Ulster, Leinster, Munster and Connacht) one was owned by the other "country" of the British Isles - The UK, but not entirely.
It's ironic as the Commonwealth Games are going on, that the only country that shares a border with the UK, isn't part of the Commonwealth so isn't represented at the games. It's also ironic that the UK which seemingly prides itself as a secular state should have a disagreement which often boils over into violence on a matter which has a least some basis in a dispute between Protestants and Catholics.
In 1620 when the Pilgrims left for the New World, they were escaping religious persecution. In 1658 with Cromwell, the English Civil War was fought as result of the same undertones. Even Guy Fawkes in 1605 had a dispute on the subject. Clearly 400 years have taught us nothing, the Irish Question is the same question all along. If you go to Scotland the rivalry is played out (also with violence) when Rangers and Celtic play each other. 400 years of Catholics and Protestants firing weapons at each other is just pointless.
It's a real disappointment to me that the land of green should be split. The Rugby, Hurling and Gaelic Football doesn't seem to have a problem so why should the nation? It does not make sense.
Personally I think that the island should be one country either under the administration of the UK (as Ireland) or as a republic (as Ireland). The idea that there should be a line is as preposterous as the latest Irish Inventions (waterproof teabags, fly-screens on submarines, fireproof matches, inflatable dartboards etc). In short, everyone should - put up, shut up and get on with each other. The Irish deserve their reputation for being stupid if all they want to do is blow each other up.
The spiritual serpants are still in Ireland. St Patrick may may driven them out, but they came back... and continue to bite.
The rottenest bits of these islands of ours,
We've left in the hands of three unfriendly powers,
Examine the Irishman, Welshman or Scot,
You'll find hes a stinker as likely as not.
The Irishman, now, our contempt is beneath,
He sleeps in his boots and he lies in his teeth,
He blows up policemen (or so I have heard),
And blames it on Cromwell and William the Third.
That is not to say that Ireland is all bad. I think of the work of Samuel Beckett and his most famous work Waiting for Godot which is surely one of the best written absurdist tragi-comedies of all time (if not the only absurdist tragi-comedy of all time).What about Eddie Irvine who was the self-proclaimed "second best driver in the world"? Sir Terry Wogan who took up British citizenship for one reason only - to claim the title of Sir. He's been sharing his half-baked view of the world with us on both BBC Radio 1 and Radio 2 now since 1967 and every year gives us his unique commentary on the Eurovision song contest (which Ireland have won 7 times).
There's hope for Ireland as well. Their free education policies 20 years ago have now resulted in Ireland being the world's fourth biggest producer of new computer software.
And then there's the famous River Liffey. The river that flows into the Guinness factory but doesn't flow out again... hmm.
My most lasting memory was an advert at Dublin Airport:
Fly Aer Lingus and you'll never walk again.
March 16, 2006
Horse 513 - Take Off To The Future
Last night Yarra Trams unveiled what it hopes will be the next major mode of transport in Melbourne. Traffic congestion and bizarre road rules with regards hook turns has meant that Melbourne will need to look to the skies in future.
Currently the aging W & P class trams are being fitted with wings but will continue to travel down existing routes. A Yarra Trams spokesman has said that these improvements are beneficial in other ways because it will now be possible to avoid collisions with cars and negate the need for special signals at roundabouts.
Trials at the moment have been unsuccessful however. This rogue tram was caught on camera not going to the MCG at Jolimont but actually landing in the MCG proper. There are also technical questions which need to be addressed such as what happens when a flying tram leaves the power supply. Are commuters going to be left up in the air waiting?
March 15, 2006
Horse 512 - 15 Minutes of Apology and Confusion
I thought that this would take less time than this, but I've run into other sorts of problems. My scanner doesn't seem to have an adequate greyscale function and second to that, the images I'm producing off of scans are monster files. I have literally hundreds of drawings and scribbles done just lying about the place in folders; my litte notebook is full of little sketches and other ideas of halfbakery, but still my computer has trouble processing them.
Estute people should be able to guess where in the world this is, and from where the photograph was originally taken. I actually kind of admire in the original ink and pencil how this looks all grubby and mucky. There are errors with this (one of them is quite obvious) but it's nice to go from a blank sheet of paper to this in less than 20 minutes.
I also need a domain and a webserver to host this, but those issues can be met as they arise.
March 14, 2006
Horse 511 - Republic of Australia
HRH Queen Elizabeth II is in the country at the moment and whenever she sets foot upon this land that was once a gaol, there is always an uneasy torrent of grumbling that suggests that we should have our own head of state. Whilst I can see the aspirations of such people and take note of them, I tend to wonder about the whole situation and look at other countries with presidents, and think to myself that the idea aint all it's cracked up to be.
The inventor of the Republic was France; this grew out of the tyranny associated with the Emporers like Napoleon which for all intents were identical in character to the line of kings they deposed. Currently the French President (Jacques Chirac) is directly elected and holds similar powers to the Queen. The President signs off on legislation and frequently exercises their powers of veto as they see fit. They also have the power to rule on constitutional matters and can refer matters to a referendum.
The problem is that the President is not exactly a respected position. Chirac is not necessarily held in high regard with the airs that should come with head of state and is often accused of being incompotent.
If we move to the USA, the president there actually appoints the executive of the nation. None of the executive are elected by the people, so it would appear that with the election of an American President, there is a lot of faith that the person elected will be faithful to the American people.
Like the French President, the President of the USA isn't necessarily afforded the official respect one usually purports to a head of state. In times where the president is a puppet for the people below them, the voters are often too aware of this. Mind you, in cases where this person proves to be an elder statesman, they are idolised in the nation's history.
The Queen on the other hand isn't elected at all. She has virtually no say in the way the nation runs (save for the ability to sign off on legislation which for reasons of proximity she doesn't most of the time) and can not appoint the executive, nor does she have the ability to change even an iota of the legislation.
So why do I think we should retain what would seem like an utterly usless position. Think about this, if in France and the USA the president is not necessarily held in overy high regard, then how does this reflect on the nation? Would the Australian people for instance wear having John Howard as the head of state? It's just not very glamourous is it?
The Queen might not do anything, but it's a matter of what she is rather than who. As a link to our past the retention of the monarchy actually shows something quite interesting. The USA was created with a war as was France (though they called it a revolution) but Australia was created with a piece of legislation. Not only that, within the British Commonwealth it was affored uniquely the staus of "Commonwealth" which meant that at inception, all laws passed within the borders would take precedent over those of Britain.
Something else which is almost forgotten is this: where does the word "Republic" come from? Latin is our help here... res publica or common thing. Res being a word for thing or abstract wealth, or if you wish a Commonwealth. Therefore we're a republic anyway, which in practice is most definately the case, so why bother changing anything?
The inventor of the Republic was France; this grew out of the tyranny associated with the Emporers like Napoleon which for all intents were identical in character to the line of kings they deposed. Currently the French President (Jacques Chirac) is directly elected and holds similar powers to the Queen. The President signs off on legislation and frequently exercises their powers of veto as they see fit. They also have the power to rule on constitutional matters and can refer matters to a referendum.
The problem is that the President is not exactly a respected position. Chirac is not necessarily held in high regard with the airs that should come with head of state and is often accused of being incompotent.
If we move to the USA, the president there actually appoints the executive of the nation. None of the executive are elected by the people, so it would appear that with the election of an American President, there is a lot of faith that the person elected will be faithful to the American people.
Like the French President, the President of the USA isn't necessarily afforded the official respect one usually purports to a head of state. In times where the president is a puppet for the people below them, the voters are often too aware of this. Mind you, in cases where this person proves to be an elder statesman, they are idolised in the nation's history.
The Queen on the other hand isn't elected at all. She has virtually no say in the way the nation runs (save for the ability to sign off on legislation which for reasons of proximity she doesn't most of the time) and can not appoint the executive, nor does she have the ability to change even an iota of the legislation.
So why do I think we should retain what would seem like an utterly usless position. Think about this, if in France and the USA the president is not necessarily held in overy high regard, then how does this reflect on the nation? Would the Australian people for instance wear having John Howard as the head of state? It's just not very glamourous is it?
The Queen might not do anything, but it's a matter of what she is rather than who. As a link to our past the retention of the monarchy actually shows something quite interesting. The USA was created with a war as was France (though they called it a revolution) but Australia was created with a piece of legislation. Not only that, within the British Commonwealth it was affored uniquely the staus of "Commonwealth" which meant that at inception, all laws passed within the borders would take precedent over those of Britain.
Something else which is almost forgotten is this: where does the word "Republic" come from? Latin is our help here... res publica or common thing. Res being a word for thing or abstract wealth, or if you wish a Commonwealth. Therefore we're a republic anyway, which in practice is most definately the case, so why bother changing anything?
March 13, 2006
Horse 510 - Time Is Running Out!!
It fills our past, present and our future; busy people complain that they have to little of it and many of our youth have far too much of it on their hands. There should be enough of it to last us forever but scientists revealed yesterday that by 2020 there could be a severe shortage.
Like oil, gas, ozone, our rainforests, our seas, and arable land, time is being wasted every single day like there's no tomorrow; yet the scary thing is that there may not be one. Unless we start saving it and quickly, we may none left for our children to use.
If you want to know what the time is, ask a policeman or so goes the saying. However, unless they happen to have a degree in cosmology or theoretical physics; maybe even a working knowledge of Leibniz and Neitsche, you're probably better off finding someone more qualified.
The very first people to record time were the Greeks. The Egyptians were the first to record time-and-a-half whilst building the pyramids.
Although a coffee table is useful for putting cups of coffee on, a timetable isn't for putting time on. It's usually a bit of paper pinned up at your local railway station upon which is printed a series of numbers which bear no resemblence to the arrival and departure of trains.
"My parents fought in WW2 so I could have the right to waste as much time as I want" - PM John Howard
Maybe the Sex Pistols were right when they sang "no future for you" in their 1977 song God Save the Queen. If we keep on wasting time like this, there will certainly be no future left for anyone.
Like oil, gas, ozone, our rainforests, our seas, and arable land, time is being wasted every single day like there's no tomorrow; yet the scary thing is that there may not be one. Unless we start saving it and quickly, we may none left for our children to use.
If you want to know what the time is, ask a policeman or so goes the saying. However, unless they happen to have a degree in cosmology or theoretical physics; maybe even a working knowledge of Leibniz and Neitsche, you're probably better off finding someone more qualified.
The very first people to record time were the Greeks. The Egyptians were the first to record time-and-a-half whilst building the pyramids.
Although a coffee table is useful for putting cups of coffee on, a timetable isn't for putting time on. It's usually a bit of paper pinned up at your local railway station upon which is printed a series of numbers which bear no resemblence to the arrival and departure of trains.
"My parents fought in WW2 so I could have the right to waste as much time as I want" - PM John Howard
Maybe the Sex Pistols were right when they sang "no future for you" in their 1977 song God Save the Queen. If we keep on wasting time like this, there will certainly be no future left for anyone.
March 10, 2006
iFive - 10th Mar
Most people have memories that go with a song that remains with them forever; certainly I walys make a habit of buying whatever single happens to be number one that week on a major trip because invariably it will have been played to death. What happens in the case of the iFive No.1 this week - is it possible to have a memory for something I was never around for?
Vera Lynn sung the original and the BBC would play Goodnight Children Everywhere sometimes as part of its nightly shutdown. Many kids had been moved out of London while the bombs were raining down and perhaps this was some reminder that somewhere, someone was very very worried indeed. The song itself is quite haunting almost bordering on sad; the chord structure is uneasy and I suspect represents the fear of the time very accurately indeed.
PS: The band name Sixpence None the Richer came from another quite well known book. A bit of research may surprise you... go on, it's fun.
1. Goodnight Children Everywhere - Sixpence None the Richer
2. Fancy Hearing Cake - Azumanga Daioh
3. The Hot Dog Man - Tripod
4. Mary-Anne - Tripod
5. Everything Goes Around - Atomic Kitten
Vera Lynn sung the original and the BBC would play Goodnight Children Everywhere sometimes as part of its nightly shutdown. Many kids had been moved out of London while the bombs were raining down and perhaps this was some reminder that somewhere, someone was very very worried indeed. The song itself is quite haunting almost bordering on sad; the chord structure is uneasy and I suspect represents the fear of the time very accurately indeed.
PS: The band name Sixpence None the Richer came from another quite well known book. A bit of research may surprise you... go on, it's fun.
1. Goodnight Children Everywhere - Sixpence None the Richer
2. Fancy Hearing Cake - Azumanga Daioh
3. The Hot Dog Man - Tripod
4. Mary-Anne - Tripod
5. Everything Goes Around - Atomic Kitten
March 08, 2006
Horse 509 - Star Wars II?
A question that often comes up in conversation is "Who would win in a fight?" This question applies in all sorts of fields: Ronald McDonald vs The Colonel, Blur vs Oasis, Tony Blair vs The Blair Witch Project and now...
R2D2 vs Daleks
Both are capable of extreme space travel, both are plucky adversaries and both are fairly hardy.
It is worth noting that one of the old tricks that used to work against Daleks, no longer applies. It was once said that to escape the Daleks, one simply needed to run up stairs. This was famously parodied in the latest series when Rose Tyler (Billie Piper) ran up some stairs and the Dalek used jets to hover. However assuming you have a Dalek without this ability, the benefit is negated anyway because R2D2 can not climb stairs either. So the venue for the battle is a flat surface.
R2D2 is esentially a dustbin with a projection unit and a universal lock reader. The Daleks are battle robots piloted by sentinent globs; equipped with laser cannons. R2D2 if it came up to you would make a Puruupuruu-twee-doot noise but the Daleks would yell EXTERMINATE and try to blow you to ions. Clearly Daleks are more menacing.I am reminded that C3PO and R2D2 once appeared on Sesame Street and R2D2 fell in love with a fire hydrant; clearly this is a weakness as the Daleks do not have love. Rose Tyler killed one when it experienced happiness. I'm not sure how this aspect would turn out.
A Dalek is taller and heavier, so in a one on one ram-raid, the Dalek would win. R2D2 frequently shut down and required repairs; I'm sure Davros would just send more Daleks. Collectively the Daleks conquered worlds, but R2D2 is merely a service droid.
In conclusion, a Dalek would beat R2D2 and for one other important reason... they killed Kennedy during their invasion of Earth in 1963 and overran London.
R2D2 vs Daleks
Both are capable of extreme space travel, both are plucky adversaries and both are fairly hardy.
It is worth noting that one of the old tricks that used to work against Daleks, no longer applies. It was once said that to escape the Daleks, one simply needed to run up stairs. This was famously parodied in the latest series when Rose Tyler (Billie Piper) ran up some stairs and the Dalek used jets to hover. However assuming you have a Dalek without this ability, the benefit is negated anyway because R2D2 can not climb stairs either. So the venue for the battle is a flat surface.
R2D2 is esentially a dustbin with a projection unit and a universal lock reader. The Daleks are battle robots piloted by sentinent globs; equipped with laser cannons. R2D2 if it came up to you would make a Puruupuruu-twee-doot noise but the Daleks would yell EXTERMINATE and try to blow you to ions. Clearly Daleks are more menacing.I am reminded that C3PO and R2D2 once appeared on Sesame Street and R2D2 fell in love with a fire hydrant; clearly this is a weakness as the Daleks do not have love. Rose Tyler killed one when it experienced happiness. I'm not sure how this aspect would turn out.
A Dalek is taller and heavier, so in a one on one ram-raid, the Dalek would win. R2D2 frequently shut down and required repairs; I'm sure Davros would just send more Daleks. Collectively the Daleks conquered worlds, but R2D2 is merely a service droid.
In conclusion, a Dalek would beat R2D2 and for one other important reason... they killed Kennedy during their invasion of Earth in 1963 and overran London.
March 07, 2006
Horse 508 - Star Wars
Episode IV
A NEW HOPE
It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.
During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.
Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy....
Think about it all. You have a giant Galactic Empire with presumably billions of citizens. Is it just me or does the whole concept seem just a little bit stupid. How do you sort out the issues of taxation? How do you collect it? As for the internet, that's tied up with the issue below.
How about making telephone calls? If electromagnetic radiation only moves at the speed of light, then your telephone call could take potentially hundreds of years to even get to the nearest star. The person you'd be speaking to would have probably died by then, not to mention that by the time you heard back you'd be dead as well. Also bear in mind that spaceships have warp drives, which means you could arrive several hundreds of years earlier yourself.
I wonder how your spaceship knows when it rematerialises in space, not to reappear in another spaceship. Wouldn't it have made more sense if you were going to blow up the Death Star to send a ship on auto pilot to just reappear in the middle with a bomb on board?
If you do happen to be moving a very close to the speed of light, assuming that KE=1/2MV² where V is very massive, the kinetic energy dissipated by a spaceship into something the size of a grain of sand would probably be enough to rip it to bits. How do you safeguard against micrometeorite that you can't see?
What is the blade of a Light-Sabre composed of? If Yoda is old and crippled, then why is he able to bounce around wielding his own Light-Sabre? Is he on Workers Comp?
Force equals a mass times an acceleration. How do you use "The Force" and how do you accelerate a mass in free space without outside interaction? Shouldn't they have all known that Anakin would be bad, because in the first film, everyone was a bunch of goody-two-shoes la-dee-daa gits and there were no bad people; therefore to bring "balance" there needed to be more bad people.
March 04, 2006
Horse 507 - Am I The Only One Who Gets This?
Is it anyone else who get this kind of callousness or is it just me?
Last night being Friday, I got back from work and was in the mood to do much, then I got this phone call:
"We're having a few people around for dinner on Saturday night. Do you think you could come around and bring some of your famous sushi rolls?"
Aha, I thought, something to do for tonight and for tommorrow night. So I've spent par of this morning tracking down some nori and some more sushi vinegar and spent part of the afternoon with my little wooden rollings mats turning out a few futomaki (big rolls) before cutting them up into little bite size bits.
I then drive about half an hour to my friends house and they were obviously in a flap because they were getting ready for when then people turned up, and Iwas told the following.
"Ah, it's good that you brought them here. Now I think you'll want to be leaving fairly soon as we have guests coming in about half an hour"
"Er?"
"No, you're not invited. It's a couples only thing, we've got about a dozen people coming and we wouldn't want you to feel left out."
At which point I was hurried out of the door and into the night.
Now maybe it's a case of misinterpreting something, but I've spent a couple of hours effort in getting the ingredients, preparation time, as well as the price of the good in the first place (salmon fillet doesn't come as cheap as chicken).
Forgive me if I'm more than just a little peeved here. Do I feel more left out for actually being left out?
I've decided to let this one go. I've got other things to do tonight... namely anything.
Last night being Friday, I got back from work and was in the mood to do much, then I got this phone call:
"We're having a few people around for dinner on Saturday night. Do you think you could come around and bring some of your famous sushi rolls?"
Aha, I thought, something to do for tonight and for tommorrow night. So I've spent par of this morning tracking down some nori and some more sushi vinegar and spent part of the afternoon with my little wooden rollings mats turning out a few futomaki (big rolls) before cutting them up into little bite size bits.
I then drive about half an hour to my friends house and they were obviously in a flap because they were getting ready for when then people turned up, and Iwas told the following.
"Ah, it's good that you brought them here. Now I think you'll want to be leaving fairly soon as we have guests coming in about half an hour"
"Er?"
"No, you're not invited. It's a couples only thing, we've got about a dozen people coming and we wouldn't want you to feel left out."
At which point I was hurried out of the door and into the night.
Now maybe it's a case of misinterpreting something, but I've spent a couple of hours effort in getting the ingredients, preparation time, as well as the price of the good in the first place (salmon fillet doesn't come as cheap as chicken).
Forgive me if I'm more than just a little peeved here. Do I feel more left out for actually being left out?
I've decided to let this one go. I've got other things to do tonight... namely anything.
March 02, 2006
iFive - 3rd Mar
I'm going to break the rules of iFive somewhat and mention just one song that I had on the iPod this week. I was able to pick up from my local record store during the week a copy of the 2005 Last Night at the Proms on BBC Records, of course being from that centre of the known and unknown musical world, the egg that is the Royal Albert Hall.
A testament to just how good a piece of music is, is to how loud you can turn it up. iTunes this week registered just 2 counts for the week. The point of the matter is that both of these tracks are 82 minutes long which in itself is pushing the boundaries of CD technology. Let the records show that the Fantasia on British Sea Songs was the very first song that I've ever had my amplifier set to 3 bars for. Henry Wood who organised the performances 112 years ago probably wasn't aware of the cultural heritage that he left behind... good luck the him. The Last Night is still the high water mark on the musical calendar for my money, and for me having the privilege of being able to stand within The Egg's walls whilst this was going on in 2003 was/is very special.
1. Fantasia on British Sea Songs - Henry Wood
A testament to just how good a piece of music is, is to how loud you can turn it up. iTunes this week registered just 2 counts for the week. The point of the matter is that both of these tracks are 82 minutes long which in itself is pushing the boundaries of CD technology. Let the records show that the Fantasia on British Sea Songs was the very first song that I've ever had my amplifier set to 3 bars for. Henry Wood who organised the performances 112 years ago probably wasn't aware of the cultural heritage that he left behind... good luck the him. The Last Night is still the high water mark on the musical calendar for my money, and for me having the privilege of being able to stand within The Egg's walls whilst this was going on in 2003 was/is very special.
1. Fantasia on British Sea Songs - Henry Wood
Horse 506 - The Best Job In The World
A bunch of us were talking about this tonight and I reckon that without a doubt, the best job in the world would have to be that of a nuclear bomb salesman. I mean think about it, you don't even have to prove that the bomb you're selling even works.
Oh our nuclear bomb is a right cracker, it's a bobby dazzler it is. That's it sitting out in the carpark. This is the bomb that even the roaches are afraid of.
The thing is that no nutter no more matter how ludicrously insane they are, isn't going to test it there and then to make sure it works are they? The thing could be filled with chocolate bon-bons, putty and sawdust for all it matters. The people in charge would buy it anyway, they're all CRAZY PEOPLE.
When I was a kid we were in the middle of the Cold War, Reagan and Gorbachev had these things pointed at each other. Even they had the common sense not to actually use them. What a field day the nuclear bomb salesmen must've had back then eh?
It would have been hillarious to have actually witnessed all of these "bombs" going off. If they'd been sold by bomb salesmen like me, the New York City would be covered in treacle whilst Moscow would have been up to its eyeballs in cans of Dr Pepper and cakes of Solvitol.
The problem these days is that genuine CRAZY PEOPLE are in charge of the bombs now. These people are prepared to actually use them for real. I think we should start filling nuclear devices with sandshoes and dolly mixtures as soon as possible.
Oh our nuclear bomb is a right cracker, it's a bobby dazzler it is. That's it sitting out in the carpark. This is the bomb that even the roaches are afraid of.
The thing is that no nutter no more matter how ludicrously insane they are, isn't going to test it there and then to make sure it works are they? The thing could be filled with chocolate bon-bons, putty and sawdust for all it matters. The people in charge would buy it anyway, they're all CRAZY PEOPLE.
When I was a kid we were in the middle of the Cold War, Reagan and Gorbachev had these things pointed at each other. Even they had the common sense not to actually use them. What a field day the nuclear bomb salesmen must've had back then eh?
It would have been hillarious to have actually witnessed all of these "bombs" going off. If they'd been sold by bomb salesmen like me, the New York City would be covered in treacle whilst Moscow would have been up to its eyeballs in cans of Dr Pepper and cakes of Solvitol.
The problem these days is that genuine CRAZY PEOPLE are in charge of the bombs now. These people are prepared to actually use them for real. I think we should start filling nuclear devices with sandshoes and dolly mixtures as soon as possible.
March 01, 2006
Horse 505 - What Are Words Worth?
"England and America are two countries separated by the same language."
Sir Walter Besant
It was the language of an Empire on which the sun never set. It's still the language which holds the nation of India together (the only other things that do that are the railways and cricket), it's the language which Napoleon cited as the "festering wound upon the world's tongue" and without, the works of Shakespeare, Wordsworth and Ogden Nash would have never existed.
Much is made of the great vowel shift in the accent of New Zealand, and of the 44 different dialects of the UK but little is written about how the seemingly obvious and quite startling differences between American English and British English actually came to be.
I start this discourse with the work of Dr Samuel Johnson and his "A Dictionary of the English Language" published in 1755. Various attempts had been made to codify the language before, some even giving lexicography and etemologies but Dr Johnson who had hated schoolmasters and generally was showing signs of turning into a curmudgeon, sought to provide usage notes to what he saw as a language which was both moving and dynamic. Unlike most modern lexicographers, Johnson introduced humour or prejudice into quite a number of his definitions. Among the best known is "Excise: a hateful tax levied upon commodities"
Over in the USA the language carried over by the pilgrims was already mutating. They found that many words were being imported from the native indians and from the French who were busily taking up bits of Canada.
The single greatest shift in American spelling was not by accident and was done as a conscious effort to show that the fledgling states had truly broken away from mother England. Noah Webster published his "A Grammatical Institute of the English Language" in 1783 with something in the order of 4500 different spellings to what was standard and acceptable in the UK. This accounted for about 10% of the book and by the time his dictionary was completed in 1833 the damage was already done. American English would forever cease to be the same.
Back in England scholars were looking to codify the language even futher so that it matched rigid rules for a Victorian prim and proper country. However, from 1858 until 1933 their task was not complete and when the "Oxford English Dictionary" became the standard repository for words, regionalisms still abounded.
The OED should in theory be the last word on everything in English. It does have tracts on American spelling but realises that American is a dialect. Australian English sits uncomfortably between American and British after influences since the end of WW2. There is the Macquarie Dictionary which is supposed to be the definitive guide to English in this country, but its authority is feeble in comparison to the OED which is exhaustive and now rounds out to 23 printed volumes in its 3rd edition (OED3).
I have a copy of OED3 on my desk and as such I like the UN, the ISO and the WTO consider it be the standard. I think I've inadvertantly taken up a chronic dislike of Noah Webster who attempted to bugger up the English language. Until such time as Newspeak takes over (see Orwel's "1984") and Oldspeak becomes crimethink, OED3 will continue to be my weapon of choice and as such "a good thing" (no apologies to Sellar and Yeatman).
Sir Walter Besant
It was the language of an Empire on which the sun never set. It's still the language which holds the nation of India together (the only other things that do that are the railways and cricket), it's the language which Napoleon cited as the "festering wound upon the world's tongue" and without, the works of Shakespeare, Wordsworth and Ogden Nash would have never existed.
Much is made of the great vowel shift in the accent of New Zealand, and of the 44 different dialects of the UK but little is written about how the seemingly obvious and quite startling differences between American English and British English actually came to be.
I start this discourse with the work of Dr Samuel Johnson and his "A Dictionary of the English Language" published in 1755. Various attempts had been made to codify the language before, some even giving lexicography and etemologies but Dr Johnson who had hated schoolmasters and generally was showing signs of turning into a curmudgeon, sought to provide usage notes to what he saw as a language which was both moving and dynamic. Unlike most modern lexicographers, Johnson introduced humour or prejudice into quite a number of his definitions. Among the best known is "Excise: a hateful tax levied upon commodities"
Over in the USA the language carried over by the pilgrims was already mutating. They found that many words were being imported from the native indians and from the French who were busily taking up bits of Canada.
The single greatest shift in American spelling was not by accident and was done as a conscious effort to show that the fledgling states had truly broken away from mother England. Noah Webster published his "A Grammatical Institute of the English Language" in 1783 with something in the order of 4500 different spellings to what was standard and acceptable in the UK. This accounted for about 10% of the book and by the time his dictionary was completed in 1833 the damage was already done. American English would forever cease to be the same.
Back in England scholars were looking to codify the language even futher so that it matched rigid rules for a Victorian prim and proper country. However, from 1858 until 1933 their task was not complete and when the "Oxford English Dictionary" became the standard repository for words, regionalisms still abounded.
The OED should in theory be the last word on everything in English. It does have tracts on American spelling but realises that American is a dialect. Australian English sits uncomfortably between American and British after influences since the end of WW2. There is the Macquarie Dictionary which is supposed to be the definitive guide to English in this country, but its authority is feeble in comparison to the OED which is exhaustive and now rounds out to 23 printed volumes in its 3rd edition (OED3).
I have a copy of OED3 on my desk and as such I like the UN, the ISO and the WTO consider it be the standard. I think I've inadvertantly taken up a chronic dislike of Noah Webster who attempted to bugger up the English language. Until such time as Newspeak takes over (see Orwel's "1984") and Oldspeak becomes crimethink, OED3 will continue to be my weapon of choice and as such "a good thing" (no apologies to Sellar and Yeatman).
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